15 Things To Do To Make Sure You Find The Right Guy

We go through life and relationships constantly, but if you're currently trying to jump back into the dating scene after a few years or your last nasty breakup, then it wouldn't hurt to read through this list so you can prepare yourself on what to look for and some points on figuring out what kind of guy you need in your life. We all need different things in our life, but we've curated a list of the most common aspects to look out for diving into the world of dating. From throwing away all preconceived qualities you want in your relationship package, to simply being realistic about the relationship you need in your future. Just remember that you should always be working on yourself to be the best version of yourself before trying to pursue a relationship, this will help you really be able to pick exactly who will compliment your life in a positive and productive way. If you don't treat yourself with respect and do what truly make you happy in life, you'll find yourself stuck in a constant circle of toxic relationships and stress. You're worth it and you shouldn't have to settle for second best, so don't give up!

Will you be dating someone anytime soon? Be yourself and go out there into the dating world full of energy and positivity. Don't let the crappy guys on all those apps get you down. If you're in a healthy relationship now, how did you find out what kind of guy should be in your life, were your right?

15 Throw Away The List

When you go into a relationship, constantly feeling like every potential partner needs to meet a certain requirement to be the perfect guy, you need to forget about that as soon as possible and learn to be a bit more open minded. No one you meet will meet every specification you come up with, there will always be something that isn't perfect, because none of us are perfect. We all have our own mistakes, that's just called life. When you're trying to figure out what kind of guy should be in your life, the first step should be openness, because then you'll begin to experience more people you wouldn't have given the chance and they might just be the one! Just clear your mind and move forward with the right kind of mindset, before you know it, you'll find more options out there in the dating world, more than you ever could have imagined.

14 Acceptance From Both

There is always two sides to everything and if that doesn't become obvious when you're searching for someone to be in your life for the long term, there needs to be some self-evaluation. Not only do you need to be open minded and throw away the list of expectations, but you need to find someone that will do the exact same thing! When you find someone that will also throw their expectations out the window, you'll be faced with someone who not only has potential, but someone who knows that anything could happen. If you find someone who is ready and willing to be open and accepting, give them a chance, because that combo is rare and shouldn't be disregarded! You never know, you might just find the perfect guy that should be in your life! Sometimes it can be hard to accept that you yourself are being accepted, but just remember that you deserve that comfort, everyone does.

13 How Fast Is He Going?

A great question you should ask yourself and your potential partner once you've been talking on your dating app for a while, is: “How fast are they trying to go?” If you come across someone you like and they're just snowballing down the timeline of dating, this probably isn't someone you want in your life. You'll start to feel controlled if you don't already, and they'll want everything their own way. Relationships that last are built on balance, love, communication, and respect, without those four things, you have an unbalanced dynamic that is just toxic and waiting to snap. Pursue someone who has no problems just discussing exactly what they want out of the relationship, someone who isn't afraid of telling you how they want to move forward and what their future goals are. You should feel comfortable enough to express what you want as well, after all this is a team effort!

12 Be Active Together

Whether you take that to mean, physical exercise or by exploring different spots around your city, just by picking up your things and clearing your schedule with someone can be a great indicator about them as a person. Plan to go have brunch together or even plan a day trip to a spot you both have been wanting to go to, even finding a local trail to hike could be a possibility. This is a great way to learn more about each other in a casual setting. When we constantly go on dates, we always end up putting on the facade of ourselves since we're nervous, but getting out into the world together and being sweaty and natural with no holding back will tell each other a lot about both of you. Plus exercising is beneficial to everyone, finding someone you like to do it with will motivate you both to be the best versions of yourself that you can be!

11 Be Realistic

Something we should all be aware of when we start pursuing relationships, or even just dating on the latest app. Be realistic. Sometimes being realistic is actually quite hard, we have all these dreams of the life we want, but at the end of the day we have to come to terms with the fact that not everything goes our way. A great first step to being more realistic is to focus on what you want out of a relationship, out of having a companion. Not physical or aspects that are material, what do you want emotionally and meaningfully from the relationship you want in your life. Being realistic starts by being sure of what the qualities you're looking for in someone are actually obtainable and that they aren't a list as long as a mile. Be patient and focus on what is most important instead of settling for a variety of things that are not as important.

10 Don't Settle

Don't settle for someone who doesn't respect you just because they are good in other ways. When it comes to respect, trust, and communication, these key factors are things that can't be sacrificed just because they're perfect when it comes to other aspects of their unique personality. If you've ever felt like you're in a relationship with someone you love but you're still not happy, it can put you in a very uncomfortable place, a place that forces you to make a choice none of us ever want to make. You'll be forced to either end it all and risk everything you've built with that person, or being unhappy and staying in the relationship. Of course things can change, but if you've felt this within the first year of a relationship, it's most likely because you settled for someone that's not worthy of being with you. Remember that and move on to someone who does appreciate every aspect of you and shows that they're more than just a tool!

9 Listen For Signs

Listening is a key way to figure out what kind of guy should or shouldn't be in your life. When you let someone talk, the way they express themselves and present their life to you will show you a peek into how they hold themselves and what they deem important. Not only should you be looking out for signs in a relationship to be able to know how the balance and overall composition of your dynamic is going, but listening for signs in conversations when you just meet someone can really tell you a lot about them. If you pay attention and listen to what they bring up in a conversation it can give you a good read on the kinds of guys you should be around more and the kind you should stay away from. If they mention their ex, gender issues, or boosting their ego, for just a few examples, run away!

8 Stay Cool

This doesn't mean to not be yourself, but it does mean that you should keep calm and be yourself. When you put on a fake personality or come off overly anxious, this can affect how the other individual will act. When they see that kind of behavior they will wall off their emotions and reflect that same kind of behavior. If you want to be able to know right away the most accurate reading of a person, you have to provide a decent composure and safe environment. Be yourself no matter what, but don't let the nerves get to you and make you seem like a person you aren't. Keep the flow of the conversation natural and the other individual will feel like they can be themselves as well. Both of you should provide a sort of relaxed environment to have a conversation that's open, honest, and real!

7 Balance Each Other

Finding a balance within someone very early on can seem almost impossible to do, but if you keep searching, you will find someone that clicks. You'll feel right away that there is a certain balance that is unlike any other encounter you've had in a long time. There will be a warmth that you'll feel, it will make you feel like you can't even think. This is the feeling of balance and the art of complimenting each other in ways that just simply work. Restore balance and initiate balance in the start of a relationship, it's important to be direct with what you want and that they do the same, don't be pushovers, and make sure that you aren't just putting up with second best from the person you're with. If you do settle in this way, not striving for balance and making it known that that is what you want out of the relationship, it's likely that it will never change.

6 Will He Go With The Flow?

If you're someone that has a certain routine in your life that you don't really want to give up, but are willing to change in certain ways, you need to find someone that can fit into your life without it feeling like a chore! While you could probably consider this as something that is just a preference, because yes of course everyone is different, but you need to remember that if you're someone who is easy going or someone that has a very strong personality trait similar to that, you really need to wait until you find someone who goes through life in the same way. People say that opposites attract and while that might be true in some cases, it's usually because they settled in a variety of ways before figuring out what works for them, who has time for that!? Find someone who meshes well with you and there will almost no clashing!

5 Effort & Dating

People today seem to think that dating doesn't require any effort or even they just let the effort fade away after the first date. It's unfair and something we've all had to deal with. We will never understand why people seem to think that effort isn't exclusive with dating anymore. When you're looking for the kind of guy that should be in your life, you need to be able to make it clear that you will put effort into the relationship and that he needs to be able to deliver the same kind of energy to the two of you as well. Not only is this a part of balance between you two, but it should also show you fairly quickly who's willing to give that much up in a healthy way in the first place. If you've found that your potential date doesn't even have the time to communicate with you from the start without a decent reason, that will show you right away how much effort he's capable of giving to you.

4 Is There Respect?

You should ask yourself once you start pursuing a relationship with someone, it should be asked right away if he has respect for you. Not only does he need to have respect for you, but you need to have respect for him as well. Occasionally you'll come across individuals that really make it hard for you to provide that respect towards them, and that isn't your fault! Just remember that no matter what happens, you shouldn't just settle or put off dealing with this issue if it does become present. This mutual aspect of respect is what is key to a flourishing relationship that shows you if this individual should be in your life for the long run or if they don't even stand a chance. Keep an eye out for this element of the relationship, not only because it's obviously important, but also because people tend to fake respect in order to gain trust in a budding relationship!

3 Let Go Of Your Ex

Letting go of your past baggage can be hard, and sometimes you meet someone new that wants to dive right into it as soon as possible. Even if a potential future partner asks about your past, you should not feel obligated to delve into it right away. Let the relationship between you two blossom in some ways first before you spill the beans. Plus, he should respect those boundaries without accusing you and acting like you did something wrong. There's no shame in wanting to move on with something that happened in your life and starting fresh. Moving on the best way to really start anew and focus on what kind of guy you want to have in your life, you'll be able to look for someone and take you time with the process so you're sure that you want to jump into the scene again. If you aren't ready, that's perfectly fine too!

2 Travel Together

Traveling together, even if it's somewhere in your city, just getting out of your own comfort zones and being together once you get to know someone well enough there is some trust, you'll be able to really take it to the next level and see if you two can work together. This kind of challenge can prevent a number of circumstances that will put the bond to the test, through stress, anxiety, and happiness. You'll be able to really tell all there is about a person and they will be able to do the same to you. Plan a road trip together, fly someone new, find a cute airBnB to stay over the weekend. Use this time to grow close and figure each other out. Of course don't try this with someone you just met, only do this when you're in a place where you have gained each other's trust and really do want to pursue a relationship together.

1 Challenge Yourself

When it comes down to it, the only way you will find what kind of guy should be in your life, is to push yourself to find who you are. You can go on dates and find potential guys, but you won't go anywhere successfully unless you have a good sense of self. Knowing who you are will help you succeed in many areas of life, but especially in the dating world. You'll know what you deserve and you'll know who really gets you for you and who doesn't. Nothing in life comes easy and if you don't push yourself to obtain what you really want in your life, aka the kind of guy you believe should be in your life, you'll just float through life with no direction. Challenge yourself and push yourself to become the best you can be and everything will fall into place before you know it. The only real way you can find a guy that's worthy enough of being in you life is when you figure out who you are.