15 Signs You're Unknowingly Trapped In An Unhealthy Relationship
Feeling trapped in a relationship, even a toxic one, is something we rarely entertain. Because why should we? Who in the world would want to spend the night thinking “hey, am I trapped in this unhealthy relationship? Is this relationship unhealthy to begin with?” Probably no one, until the signs are undeniable. When we're in love, all we think about are the positive things. We all think of cotton candies and date night after date night. We think weddings and kids and outdoor camping trips. But why should we consider checking in with ourselves? Why should we look at our relationship through a lens and analyze how it is we truly feel? Well, because we don't want that day to come when we've invested so much and then we realize, we also invested in something that is going to hurt us real bad. Girl, it's about time you start examining your relationship and protect yourself.
15 You Don't Really Want To Talk About It
When your gut is telling you that something is wrong, you better believe it. You listen very carefully and see what it is trying to tell you. Our gut is never wrong, you know. When you refuse to talk so much about your relationship, that is one sign you're in a not so healthy relationship. Unlike other women who cannot stand a lunch date with their gal pals without talking about how their boyfriend is the perfect man in the world, you choose to not talk about it. You'd rather talk about your personal embarrassing moments than talk about your relationship. This is because you know deep inside that something is not right anymore and you're afraid that when you start talking about it, your gal pals would investigate. They would dig deeper. And then you wouldn't know what to do when you realize that the wrong thing is that you're trapped in a toxic relationship.
14 You Keep On Taking The Blame
Ladies who keep on taking the blame are also ladies who are trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Well, of course, not all, but most of us. The thing about the blame game is that it's confusing. When you keep blaming your partner on every failure that happened in your life and in the relationship, this is because you're a huge perfectionist and there's a chance you're also an emotionally dependent person who wants to play the dominant role. But if you keep on taking the blame, even when he's not really playing the blame game, that's a sign that you're trapped in a relationship. He's not verbally saying it but whenever you take the blame, your man is usually doing something that's mentally telling you that it's your fault. That right there, gal pal, is a toxic relationship.
13 You Think It's Just A Phase
Most women who have already faced the fact that there's a really huge chance they're in a bad relationship are also the same women who are so good at making up something else about it. You do know that it's an unhealthy relationship but instead of leaving it, you choose to stay. You choose to think that it's just a phase and that every relationship deals with something similar. If that's financial problem or cheating, which are things other people face in relationships. Every couple has their own money or loyalty and honesty problems. But a toxic relationship? No. Not everybody builds a toxic relationship. At least not knowingly. And most definitely, not everybody stays in a toxic relationship. So no, it's not just a phase. It is something that happened for a reason and you need to run away from it and fast. Don't let yourself be trapped in it.
12 You're Not Even Thinking About Letting Go
Letting go is one of the most difficult things to do in every relationship. But we need to face the fact that some people are just not meant to be with each other. Some people need to part ways because it's better for the both of them. If you're having that gut feeling that something is not right, if you feel like your relationship is suffocating you but you're still not thinking of letting go, that just confirms the fact that you are in a trapped relationship. And you are allowing yourself to be trapped even more. Do something about it, girl. Don't wait for the time when it's going to be too difficult to get away. Thinking about letting go is the first step of it all. You may not think it's much but yes, it is. It's a very important step. Don't fight yourself when you start thinking about it because even when it doesn't feel like it, letting go is for your own good.
11 You Just Allow Him And His Dreams To Come First
A toxic relationship is not easy to identify, but one of the clearest signs is when you stopped dreaming. Literally. You don't have desires for yourself anymore. You don't think about your future, your aspirations, nothing. Instead, you spend your everyday life thinking about your partner's dreams - how you can help him achieve his goals, how you can help him reach his goals. In just a snap, everything became about him. It's always more about him than you or than the relationship. This is a very clear sign that you're in a trapped relationship. And we say trapped because you're not choosing to leave. If you see this sign, consider it a sign that you better get out of it. You deserve so much, girl. Don't let one man ruin your dreams. Keep in mind that a relationship is supposed to be for two people by two people.
10 You Two Talk About Nothing Else But Him And His Issues
It's not that talking about his issues is wrong, but there is something wrong when you two discuss nothing else but his issues. The thing about relationships is that constant communication is important. And by constant communication, we mean communication about everything. Sometimes, men have this unique way of making us feel that their issues are far more important than anything else. Sometimes, we feel like we should set aside our problems because our partners are dealing with so much. However, if this happens more often than not, you dear reader, are trapped in a toxic relationship. And the more you choose to set your issues aside, the more you're deepening the hole. The more you're allowing yourself to be trapped. Signs of being trapped in a bad relationship can be tricky, and this one is no exception. Thus, paying a closer attention to things is a must.
9 You Desire Alone Time Often
We all need some time for ourselves and that is something that our partners really cannot erase. In fact, if you're in a good relationship, your partner will be willing to have some time apart with you. He would understand where you're coming from when you start talking about it and he would be more than willing to give it a shot. However, if you're wishing of alone time more often than you want to be with him, that's something else. That is called being in an unhappy relationship. You don't always have to feel unhappy for you to know that you are not happy. Sometimes, our minds and hearts have different ways of sending us the message. And that feeling of wanting to be away from him? That's a sign. That is the feeling you should scrutinize because maybe, there is more to it than wanting extra alone time.
8 You've Forgotten Your Ambitions
It is one thing to set aside your issues and it is another to totally forget your ambitions. Aside from the lack of communication about your sharing of dreams and issues in life, another sign that you're unknowingly trapped in a relationship is when you have forgotten you ambitions already. When you find yourself slowly erasing your dreams, when you slowly focus on his dreams and his issues in life, that is a sign that you're in an unhappy relationship. And you're practically trapped because you have no idea about it. Noticing it is not easy so the next time you decide to check in with yourself and review the relationship you're in, consider scrutinizing your ambitions… are they still intact? Does your partner support them? Or is he demanding that you forget about your ambitions because he has bigger goals to achieve?
7 You Choose To Avoid Success
Okay, so this thing is totally on you. When your man is doing his thing and you are finding yourself choosing to take a few steps away from success because you want your man to succeed first, know that it's a wrong kind of relationship. Even if your man didn't verbally tell you to put a hold on your dreams because he wants his to be prioritized, if you're doing it willingly and you're doing it so often, it's a sign, lady. It's a sign that your relationship with this man is not a good one and it's definitely a sign that you should consider letting go. Keep in mind that avoiding success won't do you any good. This world gives us countless chances to succeed. Choosing to say NO because you want your man to succeed first is just, well, not right… especially when you do it voluntarily.
6 You Label All His Terrible Comments As Humor
Okay, so we all have made terrible comments. At some point in our lives, we've all made that mistake where we say our thoughts out loud and we hurt someone else's feelings. That's called being human. We have opinions and not all of them are good. We also have this vulnerability of talking about our opinions in public. In good and healthy relationships, when your man makes a terrible comment about everything, it is your job to call him out. A good girlfriend would tell her partner when he's being a douche and when his comments aren't fun anymore. But if you're in an unhealthy relationship, chances are, you see your man as a king. You see him as a perfect king and you don't feel like you need to call him out. In fact, you think all his terrible comments are just his sense of humor. If you keep on thinking this way, you may be secretly trapped in a crappy relationship.
5 You Unknowingly Talk About It With Your Friends (And Then Avoid The Subject)
And then sometimes, we become our typical human selves who fail. We end up revealing our deepest secrets, including the secrets we didn't know we have in the first place. Aside from the sign that you don't want to talk about your relationship with your pals, another sign that you're stuck in an ugly relationship and you don't really know about it is when you actually talk about it. Sometimes, you make casual comments that you're not 100% happy with your man, or maybe you're telling your pals that you wanna spend more time with them, that you want to have vacation after vacation… and then, when they notice the change of attitude in you (and your secret call for help) and they ask you about it, you're way too quick to change the topic. Girl, listen when your inner-self is seeking help.
4 You Make Excuses For Him
Okay, so we're all guilty of making excuses for our partners. Even they make excuses for us when we mess up in life. That's what relationships are all about, after all. Sometimes, it's about covering up one another's mess. Why? Well, because it's fun. Also, because loyalty… so when do we know that our habit of making excuses for our partners is not healthy anymore? As always, when we do it way too often. When you keep on making excuses for your man even when he's not really in big trouble, that's actually you thinking you are responsible for him. Girl, keep in mind that you're his girlfriend, you're not his mother. And we're pretty sure that even his mom won't make excuses for him especially that this is not the age to make excuses anymore. Pay a closer attention to how you react about his mistakes - do you talk about it or do you help him make an excuse to justify said mistake?
3 You Are Emotionally Drained
Emotions are powerful, dear woman reader. It is so powerful that we barely notice the difference when it's still a mild one. We only notice it when we're already hurting so badly. To avoid that, consider checking in with yourself from time to time. It's not easy to figure out if you're unknowingly feeling trapped in a relationship, but it's easy to check in with your emotions. It's easy to know whether or not you're emotionally drained. And when you are, when you realize you're not in a good emotional state anymore, be honest about it. Be open-minded. Don't be afraid to admit to yourself that maybe, maybe you are in a bad relationship. Knowing whether or not you're emotionally drained is one of the best ways to know if staying in the relationship is still the right decision to make, or if you should start collecting courage to turn your back for your own good.
2 You Stopped Dreaming Of The Good Things
Seriously, when was the last time you thought of something good? Whether that's something good for the relationship or for yourself, when was the last time you thought about it? Or have you spent the past months putting your partner first? His issues, his problems, his goals, his thoughts and emotions… girl, if you can't even remember the last time you dreamed of the good things, that's probably because you don't even have the emotional capacity to feel good. That's probably because your mind is actually too tired to think of good things. This is a sign you're in an unhappy relationship and woman, you better do something about it. Stop trapping yourself into something that is slowly killing your soul. Keep in mind that sometimes, relationships need to end because you need to start loving yourself more again.
1 You Want Something Else But Can't Put A Finger On It
This is probably one of the clearest signs that you feel trapped in a relationship and you don't really notice it. There are lots of signs, woman. This universe never fails to send us signs when something wrong or something toxic is around the corner. In your case, if it's a toxic relationship that is slowly suffocating you, one of the clearest and easiest signs you should focus on is when you want something else. You have this unexplainable desire for something else but you don't really know what and why. And you don't really feel comfortable talking about it with your gal pals because, again, you're afraid the conversation will turn into something you're not prepared to talk about. So you just spend more alone time, locked in the bedroom and wondering what's wrong with you. Well, chances are, there is nothing wrong with you. But there is something wrong in the relationship you're part of.