Pay Attention 16 Signs He Is About To Break Up With You

When you're in a relationship, the last thing you're probably thinking of is when it's going to end. No one gets married expecting to divorce, and no one gets into a relationship expecting to break up. Sometimes, we see it coming, how our relationship was splitting at the seams. Maybe one of you was unfaithful, maybe your lives have taken you in separate directions, or maybe you've simply grown apart, but breakups are some of the hardest things we have to deal with, because love is a heavy thing.

While we occasionally know when our relationship is on its last legs, sometimes we're taken by surprise and dumped out of the blue. A moment ago, we were happily paired and now we are suddenly single, changing our Facebook status and cancelling that couples massage we had shelled out the cash for.

Except, is it ever really that sudden, or are these things a long time coming, even if we didn't notice? These 16 signs will tell you if he's about to break up with you so that you're not blindsided, hopefully saving you some heartache and dignity. Find yourself checking off every single one on this list? We hate to break it to you, but your relationship is officially DOA!

16 He stops including you in his life

You used to always go out with him and his friends for after-work beers and now you never get an invite. You've previously spent holidays together with him and his family, but now you're flying solo or staying with your own fam during those special days. He used to tell you everything that was going on in his life when you weren't around for it and now it's like pulling teeth to get him to talk.

A guy who's trying to break up with you is looking to detach himself from you emotionally as well as physically, and so he'll slowly shut you out of everything you used to share. Including you in his life means that you've formed a partnership, and removing that shared element means that he thinks he'd be better off on his own. Disruptions in routines you normally used to enjoy together is a red flag that you should look out for, because a breakup may be the next step.

15 He gets easily annoyed with you

Stuff you did that was once cute to him now drives him up the wall, and you can't figure out why. His short fuse makes you feel like you're always walking on eggshells and it seems that no matter what you do, he's looking for a fight. Basically, it seems like any time you're together, he's annoyed, bored, or angry that he's “stuck” with you, and you know you don't deserve that!

Fights are inevitable in a relationship, but when it seems that he's picking at you until you give him a reason to lash out, it's not a sign that things are headed to a good place. Guys will often look to start arguments so that they have a reason to point to as to why they're breaking up with you. It makes them feel like they're less at fault, even though they were the one who instigated it. If this sounds like your situation, be the one to pull the trigger and walk out with your head held high.

14 He lies to you

Relationships are built on trust and honesty, and once that's removed, the relationship is bound to fall apart. Maybe he's lying to you about what he was actually up to Saturday night or he's covertly deleting DMs from another girl, but any lies in a relationship is unacceptable.

Lying to your partner means that you don't respect them, because you don't think they deserve to know the truth - or you don't want to show your true colours and instead would rather manipulate them into believing the image you've constructed. Lies sow seeds of mistrust in a relationship, and once you've caught him in a lie, you know it's only a matter of time before he does it again. If he's telling anything more than a little white lie to make you feel good (like your butt doesn't look big in those jeans), then he's not worth your time.

13 He doesn't make you a priority

Look, we're not saying that relationships have to take up all your time at the expense of everything else. We totally understand that there are other important aspects to your life, like work, family, friends, health, and so on. However, if you're finding yourself dropping down the totem pole of his priorities, you have a good reason to be concerned.

Guys who have emotionally checked out of a relationship won't bother with trying to keep you happy and comfortable, because you're just not on their radar anymore. If you're feeling like you're infringing upon your guy's life, he hasn't made room for you - instead, he's squeezed you out. Now, his priorities lie with his bros and having a good time - anything but you. If you're with a person who loves you and wants to be with you in a committed relationship, he won't make you feel insecure and uncertain about your future together or your place in his heart.

12 He ignores you

Like rarely responding to your messages, a dude who ignores you is making it quite clear that he's bailed on this relationship. We live in a world where everyone looks at their phone every five seconds, so saying that he “just saw your text” isn't going to cut it.

A guy who's about to break up with you will also be looking for reasons not to hang out, or will regularly cancel on plans. He'll go AWOL for days at a time and reappear as if nothing happened, because it's easier for him than confronting the issue head-on. No one likes to be ignored, but it feels especially crappy when it's coming from someone you love. If a man has any regard for your feelings or your heart, he'll never pull this stunt on you, so you can be sure that it's a big, glaring warning sign that you're about to get the axe.

11 His excuses become more unbelievable

He says he's busy at work but then you see on his Snapchat story that he's grabbing drinks with the guys. He claims that money's too tight, but yet he somehow manages to place big bets in his fantasy football league every week. He can't make the date you guys arranged last week because he has his grandmother's birthday, but wasn't it her birthday last month? He can't watch Game of Thrones with you that night, even though it's tradition, because he has to call his Dad, it's tradition, too. Oh, you didn't know that was a tradition of his? Well, it is.

When his excuses become more and more unbelievable and increasingly far-fetched, you know that it's because he's hiding something: his true feelings for you. Instead of looking for every reason to spend time with you, he's looking for every way out, no matter how vague or ridiculous. If you're seeing a pattern here, you'd better be prepared to say sayonara to your relationship.

10 He hides his phone

This is probably an obvious one, but shady phone activity is a clear sign that he's looking to break up with you. That's not to say that couples should be privy to everything on each other's phone - some privacy is natural and healthy - but if your guy is hiding his phone, deleting his messages regularly, and refusing to let you get a glimpse at what he's doing, you should definitely put yourself on high alert. Is his phone screen dimmed to the lowest level? Is he snatching his phone from you the moment you playfully grab it, seemingly more upset than he would be normally? Yeah, you should be worried.

Technology is one of the ways we communicate these days, and if he's being shifty about what he's doing on his phone, it may be because he's communicating with someone else. Thanks to dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, it's super easy to chat with random people and set something up, so if you're feeling like he's recently gotten secretive about his tech, you might find that there's some truth to it!

9 He doesn't compliment you

It's always nice to hear that you're looking good, or that your BF is proud of you, or that he's amazed that you were able to figure out that difficult crossword clue by yourself. When you're in a relationship, you're part of a team that's meant to boost one another up as well as help each other out, and if your guy is taking a step back from that, you might have a good reason to be worried.

When the compliments dry up in a relationship, it can be a sign that he doesn't notice you anymore - and he doesn't care. This isn't just your run-of-the-mill forgetful or unobservant guy, this is him going out of his way to NOT say anything nice to you because he no longer cares about pumping up your self-esteem or making you feel good. A guy who wants to break up with you is likely saving his compliments for someone else, and you're old news.

8 He puts a time limit on your relationship

If you've been struggling in your relationship, he says that maybe you can try it for another month or so and then ”see what happens”. Putting a time limit on your relationship is a way for him to have a guaranteed out, without making it seem like he was looking for an escape - and was emotionally checked out - the entire time. A time limit gives the illusion of trying when really, it's just the opposite.

When a relationship is going well, you don't need a month or a week to “see how things go”, they just go. Maybe this dude thinks that you guys can recapture what you once had, if you use this specific allotment of time to focus on it, but more often than not, it won't work out. In all honesty, you're just delaying the inevitable, and everyone knows that it's better to rip off the Band-Aid quickly instead of tugging at it slowly and painfully.

7 You're barely doing the deed

The experts agree that when a relationship is on its deathbed, one of the first things to go is physical intimacy. If he's just not into you anymore, he's not going to want to get it in, even if he was starving for it all the time before. Intimacy is one of the primary ways most men show affection, and when it's on the decline, it is likely that it's because his heart just isn't in it anymore - and he may be getting his rocks off somewhere else.

We think of men as the type who are always ready and raring to go, which is why when your physical life becomes basically nonexistent, you're on high-alert for something that's gone wrong. It might be a fluke, owing to a stressful time in his life, but if it lasts too long, then you shouldn't be surprised when he decides to finally pull the plug.

6 He talks about the future - without you

In a healthy, stable relationship, talking about the future is natural. Maybe you've imagined your life together travelling the world, how many kids you might have, if he'd be a stay-at-home dad so that you can pursue your career or vice-versa, or if you'd settle down with three dogs instead. It might all be hypothetical, but it always involved the two of you, and gave you both a general idea of what you were looking for in your relationship.

Now, however, is a different story.

Any mention of the future makes him uneasy, and he hems and haws over stuff that he used to enthusiastically discuss. Instead, his future plans seem to be solo ventures, and he encourages you to do the same. Clearly, he's separating from you without saying so, but he wants you to know that, while he once saw you sharing the future, now he's all on his own.

5 He's scrubbed you from his social media

Okay, he may not have deleted you entirely from his Facebook and Instagram, but he's definitely on the way there! Since almost everyone has some form of social media at this point in time, you're inclined to notice any changes in his profiles or updates. What was once a photo of the two of you is now a close-up of only him, giving his best smoulder to the camera. He used to hate selfies (or so he told you), but now his Insta is littered with shots of him posing like he's a model. While you were once Facebook official, now he's hidden his relationship status. All of this points towards the fact that he's prepping to break up with you and wants to let the ladies know that he's single and looking. Are more and more girls commenting on his photos, perhaps even girls you've never heard of or met before? Yeah, you should definitely be ready for what happens next.

4 He tells you he needs space

This is one of the final nails in the coffin, like when you're being told, “It's not you, it's me.” We all need some me-time, but when a guy asks for some space with no set time limit, then you know he's just girding himself to pull the trigger and end things permanently.

Needing some space might be a good idea if you're both finding yourself too busy for one another, but when it's a mutual decision, it's more likely that you can come back to one another. If, however, it seems like it's come from out of the blue and bae doesn't know how long he needs to be away from you, you should be prepped to have things end. You're not suffocating him, but when he wants to get out from under you - and from the relationship - he'll claim he needs some space but really he wants to just break up for good.

3 He's stopped saying “I love you”

Those three little words can mean an awful lot, and if you've noticed that he's gradually ceased telling you them altogether, you might have a break-up in the near future. Maybe you've even said “I love you” and he's responded that it annoys him you feel the need to express your emotions so often. Or, when you've asked him why he hasn't said how much he loves you, he spits the words out like he's angry you even asked for them.

A guy who's looking to end a relationship is less likely to tell you he loves you because, quite frankly, he doesn't anymore. They may just be words, but they pack a lot of intent behind them, so even his dumb butt can't fake them for your sake. A lack of being told “I love you” or other sweet nothings is something to worry about, and a signal that your relationship may be on life support.

2 He goes radio silent

Guys suck at communicating most of the time to begin with, so this is a red flag that might go undetected for longer than it should. While you two may not be the type to talk on the phone (and really, who is anymore?), you've noticed that lately his texts have been pretty non-committal, he'll look at your Snaps without sending anything back, and he's rarely the one to reach out to your first to make plans or even initiate conversation.

We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is definitely one of the moves a dude pulls when he's looking for an escape hatch. Ceasing communication with you on his phone is an easy way for him to bow out and give you the not-so-subtle hint that his heart isn't in it anymore. Even worse: when you two finally do get together, you find that the conversation has totally dried up and you simply have nothing more to say to one another.

1 You've gotten sick

We're not talking about a little cold or a bout of the flu, we're talking about a serious illness. It's heartless, but it's a fact that men are actually SIX times more likely than women to break up with you if you've been diagnosed with a serious illness. Sure, they might play the good nurse and bedside doctor at the beginning, but it's a tragic truth that guys are more likely to bail than nurture their sick partner back to health. Whatever happened to “in sickness and in health”?

When you get diagnosed with something serious, your guy might choose to break up with you because, ironically, of a fear of abandonment. They think you're going to leave them, so they'd rather be the one to end things first. It can also upend the balance of your relationship, transforming a formerly independent woman into someone who is more reliant on her SO. It's heartbreaking, but unfortunately more common than we might realize.