If You Answered No To These 15 Questions Then You'll Never Find Love

It might sound too simplistic to say that, if your answer to the questions in this article are NO, then you won't find love. Unfortunately, love truly is this simplistic.

You know when you see in movies, or television, people fall in love and there is a mild moment of drama and confusion, but they always end up together in the end? Yeah, well that isn't how it works out here in the real world.

You should already know that knowing yourself is a billion times more important than knowing your partner when you first enter a new relationship. Now, you'll learn about how to take your relationship a step further, and allow it to blossom into love.

The points on this list are tried and tested pitfalls that most of us are victims of when trying to develop long term relationships. Unlike other work, this piece isn't for you and your partner. This is a completely solo mission, and once you've read through them all and put the methods into practice, you'll see just how easy it is to fall in love.

15 Have You Dated A Lot of People?

Trends have shown that people who date fewer people are more likely to get married earlier in the life. The same trends, when followed through a lifetime, also show that people who don't date around are rarely in happy relationships for the long-term. Why? Because they didn't know what they actually liked when they got into the relationship in the first place.

Dating around is no longer the taboo it was during our grandparents generation. With apps like Tinder and Bumble, meeting lots of new people is also significantly easier - and safer! By dating a lot of people, you'll soon figure out what you do and don't want out of a partner, you'll figure out what you find both physically and mentally attractive, and most of all, you'll probably get taken out for a lot of nice free meals.

14 Do You Have a Type?

For some reason, having a type is discussed as a negative by most non-scientifically based relationship writers. Nothing could be further from the truth. Having a type is one of the best, most easy ways to fall in love. It cuts out the middle man, so once you've done your dating around to get to know what personalities you're into, you can move into looking for men or women that specifically fit into the personality and looks categories that you like the most.

Don't worry though, you're not being pigeon-holed too young. Your type can definitely evolve, and you can have more than one. For example, my types used to be redheads and the traditional tall/dark/handsome threesome. That was when I lived in Europe. Now that I live in Los Angeles, my type has changed to exclusively intellectual redheads, and Latin American men with an edge. In real life, my boyfriend is the intellectual redhead. In non-real life, my boyfriends are most of the cast members in Narcos.

13 Are You Comfortable Being Naked?

In order to be comfortable during love making with a partner, nudity is key. Within relationships, nudity around one another is more than just a fun way to do things (and to note, cooking naked really isn't a very sensible way to spice things up) that you might otherwise do clothed. Even things as basic as doing chores in the nude can create a platform of trust, comedy, and attraction within a relationship. However, in order to do this to it's fullest effect, you have to be comfortable in the first place.

Top female bloggers and advisors also like to note the following: people just LIKE naked, it's the only body you have, and remember that your partner will have their own insecurities too. If you're single and want to get comfortable before introducing your body to others, turn up the heat, close the curtains, and spend some evenings alone in your birthday suit first!

12 Can You Go Out Without Makeup?

Now this is a fascinating one. Psychology Today just recently published an article about the cognitive process behind make up choice. For example, when choosing lipstick, red is always perceived as the most attractive. Foundation lies at the core of attraction, likely because it evens out skin tone. The theory behind much of the psychological discussion on make up goes back to the basics of human attraction: you'll be instinctive attracted to someone who looks healthy and attractive. However, this ends once you step through the front door

In regards to relationships, make up goes hand-in-hand with nudity: sometimes you just need to take it all off to create a platform of normality and trust. Refusing to take off your make up around someone you're dating will just further make you feel insecure, so take it all off!!

11 Do You Have More Than One Best Friend?

Having one best friend can make your life great, but also inherently toxic for relationships. When you have a single best friend, you'll naturally start to treat them like a partner without the benefits. Then, when you team up with someone for a romantic entanglement, you'll likely p-off your bestie. Most besties will not take the time to appreciate their position as Third Wheel. What's more is that almost all psychologists in the field of relationship science note the importance of having your partner be your best friend. If that's something you're not ready for, then try expanding your social group. You'll get to meet lots of new people, and hopefully mitigate the blow to your bestie when you do meet your future beau.

10 Can You Sustain Yourself Financially?

Along with booking your own doctors appointments, being financially self-sufficient is just another deciding factor on whether you are or are not an adult. A huge number of wealth management companies, such as Lucre Personal Finance note the importance of being financially self sufficient even when you're in a relationship.

When in relationships, there are key reasons you should remain financially self-sufficient. The first of these is that your partner might leave you, or die, forcing you to have to reenter the competitive workforce, plunge you into debt, or literally see you homeless if you haven't sustained yourself. Being self-sufficient will also create equality in your relationship. Lucre argue that financial independence allows for balance between partners, and does not create any unnecessary tension.

9 Do You Know Yourself?

When was the last time you asked yourself the simplest questions that come to mind? Your favorite color, ideal date night, best movie, these are all things you should know about yourself so that others can learn that about you.

According to Body Love Wellness, the best way to get to know yourself is to date yourself. Dating yourself allows you to figure out how well you can fulfill your own desires, leaving room for where another person can pick up your slack. There are also obvious physical benefits to dating yourself, which will come in all the more useful when you invite someone else into your company.

It all comes down to this: how do you expect anyone to love you, if you don't even know who you are?

8 Have You Gotten Closure With Your Exes?

Closure with exes sounds like a normal thing that we all have, but take a moment and consider who you think about right before you go to sleep at night. If it's your ex, then you definitely need some closure. An article in New York Magazine argued that a bad breakup that requires closure can distort our sense of self , and that when people are in a healthy relationship, their sense of self expands to include the partner, so when you break up it's more like losing a limb or an organ than simply not seeing someone around any more. Also cited in the article are studies that found that one of the best ways to get closure is to spend more time with yourself, as this will help you rebuild by fulfilling yourself.

7 Are You Flexible?

How do you feel about change? If your nose wrinkled like you're smelling something gross, then you're in trouble. People that fear change, and are inflexible in that regard, are natural pessimists. They fear the worst. Research published in PubMed has found that most people that are inflexible are more likely to get divorced as inflexibility is essentially just a fear of change. Those who fear change and get into relationships are more likely to be considered controlling, a micromanager, and essentially all of the negative things related to how you act out your inflexibility. This also leads to repetitiveness, and subsequently boredom. Folks that have the same routine day-in-day out, are also more likely to be cheated on due to this boredom.

6 Do You Know Your Personal Standards?

Whether it's playing with food, smoking, or recreational drug use, everyone has their deal breaker with their partners, but have you ever truly considered where you'll draw the line with another person?

Some people will limit themselves in relationship by looking for the perfect partner, or settling for the best they think they can get. Tony Robbins writes extensively about how to raise your standards, but what if you're limiting yourself by setting your ideals too high?

In a recent SNL opening monologue, Larry David discussed how he - an old, bald, crotchety man - will only date attractive women. Even he knows that he's being ridiculous, but this is exactly the sort of ridiculousness you may be doing to yourself.

5 Have You Defined Your Personal Boundaries With Others?

According to Psychology Today, there are five types of boundaries that you need to define. These are: intellectual, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual. Each of these boundaries should be defined throughout your relationships, but definitely within your romantic ones. Most psychological theory denotes that having aspiring role models is one of the best ways to define your boundaries, so it's time to find someone, or multiple people, to help you figure out how you want your romantic relationships to play out.

In order to maintain these boundaries, you may need to learn to be assertive. This doesn't always work when trying to assert your right and wrong on others, but anyone that is worth your time will make the effort to work within your boundaries. Just don't become a control freak!

4 Do You Know Your Limitations?

Whether it's physical (touching your toes, running, climbing) or mental (communication, trust issues) figuring out your issues is the easiest way to fix them, or work around them, which in turn will help you become a more realistic person. We all know someone that makes the most outrageous choices in who they are, and constantly complain about the way their lives are going. These are the people that have never bothered to learn about their limitations.

For example, a lot of people that have experienced trauma in their lives, whether it's abuse, being cheated on, or something more heinous, are at risk of placing these fears (or mental limitations) onto their partner. If you've been cheated on, you're more likely to perceive your partner as having an affair, when really it's just your issues.

3 Are You Aware That You Can Say No Whenever You Want?

Yes and No are the two greatest words in the world. With one, you can open your world up to a wealth of opportunity. With the other, you can avoid a lot of unwanted heart ache, terrible dinners, and foul memories. How many times have you been asked to do something, go somewhere, or see someone you really don't want to? Lots, I bet.

However, did you know that all of your pain could have been avoided by just saying No? When it comes to relationships, those that are assertive (and know themselves) are more likely to lead fulfilling lives, because they're geared by direction through the act of saying No when they want to. To the individual, No is empowering. To the couple, No limits the foundation for arguments. Imagine if someone asked you on your first date to go horseback riding, but you're terrified of horses? You'll resent that person forever, when really it was your fault for not saying NO!

2 Do You Know What Your Favorite Take-out Meal Is?

This might sound like the most ridiculous question in the world; of course you know what your favorite take-out meal is… but how often do you stall when being asked this question? One of the most popular, and certainly most meme'd pitfall of the modern relationship is the inability to decide upon where to get take out food, or where to even go for dinner. It might not sound like a big deal, and certainly not a relationship-ending scenario, but how do you expect to truly get to know your partner if you don't know yourself already?

In addition to this, any stress placed on a relationship is a bad thing. Some relationship specialists will argue that stress can be something to evolve from, but that's just rubbish. Just like stressing a muscle or your mind ends negatively, so too will stress on a relationship. Big fights come out of little spots of stress, so just figure out where you want to go for dinner, and have a top three at your disposal at any given time.

1 Do You Love Yourself?

Justin Bieber's hit song aside, loving yourself is the #1 item on this list because you will never, ever find love until you have learned to love yourself.

Combine all of the knowledge, guidance, and advice on this list, take it away and do something wonderful with it. Get to know yourself, create a platform for your future based on your wants, needs, likes, limitations, boundaries, standards, and all of the above.

Tony Robbins, arguably the most important person in the self-help field, constantly emphasizes the importance of loving yourself, because it is the fuel that feeds your success. Loving yourself does not limit you to a box, and instead will expand your options while filtering for all of the negative situations you've likely been through thus far.