If He Does These 15 Things, Run The Other Way
The jury is out: dating is hard… There is one tool that always comes in hand: your intuition. if he displays certain red flags, you should never ignore them. It is best for you to walk away from someone who displays certain behaviors. Even if it is the last thing you want to do, even if you adore him… it will be so much better for you in the long run. Life is too short to settle! There are just certain things you shouldn't stick around for. It is not like you don't have options because believe me… you do. There are billions of fish in the sea, remember that. You don't have to put up with nonsense because you can always find better. You can find someone who displays NONE of these qualities. Generally speaking, people don't change, which is exactly why you should never ignore these 15 characteristic flaws:
15 He lies about little things
Fool me once, shame on you… well, you know the rest. If you are constantly catching him in a lie, it is time to say goodbye to him, especially situations that he has no reason to lie about. Lying about insignificant things is a sure tell sign that he is lying about everything. If he tells you that the girl in his pictures is no one to worry about and it ends up being his ex… why would you stick around for something like that? Who knows what else he is lying to you about! However, a white lie is very different than a lie with ill intent behind it. If he lies about telling you how good you look in a dress when it isn't his favorite, that actually means that he is a good guy. No one wants someone critical. Some things are just better left unsaid. Make sure you distinguish the difference between the two.
14 He still communicates with the ex
Speaking of his ex, if she is still hitting him up - chances are he is responding. People usually don't text others without getting an answer. The context of the text is also very important. If you catch him flirting with her, you should ditch him. You never want to put yourself in a position where the ex is still romantically involved - I can promise you that it never ends well. No man is worth competing over. You want someone who is focused on you and only you! Everyone deserves that. Let him deal with that ex baggage alone, it is so not worth it. I can guarantee you if you get involved with this ordeal, you will soon regret it. A love triangle is not a good time. It will have detrimental effects on your life and your overall well-being. If a guy puts you in that position, he is a total d*ck.
13 He is obsessed with selfies
1000 shirtless selfies? Run Forrest, run. There was a study conducted that implicitly states the more often a man takes a selfie, the more likely he is to be a sociopath. Scary stuff, and who wants to be with a sociopath anyway. While it might not be true for all guys, you can very easily tell which ones to run away from. It also found that the men who edit their pictures “have higher levels of narcissism and self-objectification” (no kidding, a guy who edits his photos is obviously bad news). Yikes. Dating a narcissist is some pretty nasty business. They will only care about themselves, always. They have no regard for other people's feelings, including yours. Keep your eye out for endless pictures of himself on his Instagram.
12 He is a party animal to no end
Poppin bottles with his boys every weekend? Next. This kind of man is never a good idea. First of all, it shows that his priorities are all out of whack. Second, there are endless amounts of drunk girls around at all times. See: a bottle rat. Do you really want to date someone who constantly puts himself in a position of temptation? Having a social life is awesome, but excessive drinking and partying isn't cute. Unless he includes you in the fun, that is a different story. That shows that he isn't going out for the wrong reasons, and he genuinely just wants to have a good time with you and his friends. However, if he is constantly picking to go out with the guys when you want to stay home? A big no-no. He should be prioritizing you and your needs as well as keep his own life with his friends. Guys nights are totally acceptable, but not every day of every weekend. That is a huge red flag. Adios
11 His social media is filled with girls
Social media is really telling about who you are as a person. It is a pretty bad sign when your guy is sandwiched in between four girls and posts it on his Instagram. You want to put your best foot forward on your social media pages, so can you imagine what he is doing behind the scenes? These kinds of stunts fall under the category of something I like to call f*ckboy behavior. I really don't give a sh$t if he has a lot of “girls that are friends”. Chances are he is sleeping with one of them, if not multiple. Just my opinion, though. Unless he meets you and wants to settle down and commit, which is completely possible! This actually happened to me, but I called his a$$ out and he stopped taking pictures with every girl that came his way. I have to say though, this is the exception to the rule.
10 He is rude to your friends and family
This is always something to be concerned about because your man should be nothing but polite to your circle. Not only should he be pleasant, he should be making a serious effort to get to know them! He knows that they are important to you, so why shouldn't they be important to him? If he is rude, condescending or just plain standoffish, you know to let him go. This is also not sustainable long term! There is no way that you can be with someone who doesn't vibe with your friends and your family. It will always cause problems in not only your relationship with him but other relationships that you hold near and dear to your heart. He should be bringing flowers to you and your mom, getting to know your siblings, and buying a round of drinks for you and for your friends. You deserve the best of the best.
9 He refuses to take things to the next level
This is a staple red flag, but it is easy to forget this in the 21st century. It seems that everywhere we turn, there is another commitment phobic man who is “too busy with work” or “not ready”. Please ditch these idiots. If you two have been seeing each other for quite some time and he won't take the next step, chances are he never will. If this is something you want and he isn't giving it to you, it is probably best for you to walk away, unless you are okay with the situation you two are in. It is your personal decision, but I know that most women will eventually become fed up with giving their all to a man who refuses to claim them. If you feel that you are constantly getting yourself into these situations, you are not the only one. This is a huge problem for millennials. Nonetheless, do not give up
8 He only cares about his needs in the bedroom
What is worse than a guy who could care less if you are satisfied in the bedroom? I will tell you friends: nothing. If you aren't even happy in this sector of your relationship, chances are you aren't happy in the relationship in general. Lets' be honest: no one can be happy when they are having bad bedroom fun. No fun is better than bad fun. If you have communicated your needs and your preferences and he could care less, you need to find someone who does. There is a big difference between a man who just didn't realize that you are unhappy with his performance, and someone who damn well knows that you aren't and does nothing to fix it. This level of selfishness is not something you should put up with. A real man will make SURE that you finish elated. He will ask you what you like and what you don't like. He will bring his A-game in bed because he wants to see you happy
7 He disrespects his mom
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Don't be mistaken: if he treats his mom horribly, he will eventually treat you the same. If he is showing you how he treats the woman who he is supposed to respect the most in life, how do you think he will behave towards you? This is the worst kind of man. Clearly, he doesn't value family. I don't know about you, but I want a man that has his priorities straight. Unless his mom is very abusive or toxic in his life and he made the choice to cut her off, there is no reason why a man should be rude to his own mother. Clearly he wasn't raised right! This should set off all of your alarms. The complete opposite can be just as worse. A mamma's boy? Gross. He will always put his mother before you, no matter what. Find you a man with a good balance between the two!
6 He doesn't follow through with his promises
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He promises he will change, but he never does. He promises you the moon and the stars, and you don't even get a dinner date. He swears up and down that this time he will be faithful, but you catch him texting another girl. Actions will ALWAYS speak more than words, and there is just no excuse that he can give you for treating you poorly. A man like this will never change, and there is no point in you staying with him. Ain't nobody got time for that. In addition to this, you should keep your guard up with a man that can't uphold the overall commitments in his life. It is always a bad sign when a man can't keep a job or pay his rent on time. Someone like this will just bring you down. An irresponsible man? No thanks. No scrubs allowed.
5 He gets into fights, constantly
Stay the hell away from someone who gets into bar fights or just someone violent in general. You don't want to be the girl whose boyfriend is THAT guy. It is more than embarrassing, believe me. People who cannot control their temper and their anger is always a dangerous person. It doesn't matter if he doesn't behave this way with you, behaving in this manner at all is not okay. No doubt, men can be violent, and if he got into a fight or two when he was younger, I wouldn't necessarily run. I would just ensure that he has grown up and that it won't ever happen again. You do not want to be involved with someone who is dramatic and volatile. Who is to say that he won't lose control with you? Just because it has never happened does not mean that it can't ever happen. There is no guarantee, you are better off not even taking that chance. Unless he was defending your honor. In that case, that is extremely sexy.
4 He is missing the chivalry chip
There is no denying that every woman wants a man that is going to woo her. If a girl is telling you that she doesn't like the idea of her man surprising her with rose petals spread over a warm bath for her when she gets home and other romantic gestures, it is either one of two things. 1. Not getting it in her relationships and doesn't want to admit to herself that she deserves better 2. Is lying. Sorry, we love romance! If you are TRULY not into the corny stuff, you will at least appreciate the effort. The man should at LEAST try. It doesn't even have to be something grand, it can be something as simple as pulling out the chair for you or opening your car door! A true gentleman is few and far between, but that doesn't mean that you should settle for a man that has no manners
3 He is emotionally unavailable
When someone is emotionally unavailable, they are not receptive to new opportunities or relationships. If anything, they will just want to engage in something casual - nothing that will make them grow attached or grow feelings for anyone. If he has a wall up, you most definitely walk away. Either two things can arise out of this situation: he will never let the wall down, or he makes you wait forever until he feels comfortable enough to do so. Ain't nobody got time for that! There are plenty of guys out there that are ready - now. If a dude is refusing to let his guard down for you, you should say bye-bye. Especially if you have shown him that you are open and receptive. He should match that
2 He never apologizes
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I think that it takes a real man to own up when he is in the wrong. In my eyes, it shows strength and maturity. Humility is sexy, is it not? If a guy has a hard time owning up to his mistakes, he is not strong, mature, or humble. He clearly has some growing up to do. It is adulthood 101 to apologize when you are in the wrong. This is not the type of man you want to keep around. He will not make a good partner! Relationships are about compromise and compassion - and when he hurts you, intentional or not… he should make amends. Someone who takes the time and effort to do that is someone who cares about you! If he refuses to do that, he can swerve. Who wants a man who can't even say that he's sorry? That is not a man, that is a little boy. Beware of someone who never accepts responsibility for his actions
1 He doesn't make sacrifices
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He refuses to do anything that will inconvenience him. The world revolves around him and his schedule, and he expects you to adhere to it as well. It is his way or the highway, and he won't be caught dead making any kind of compromise with you. Do yourself a solid and ditch a selfish jerk like this! He will never give you what you want or what you need - why would he? It is all about him, haven't you heard? Pft. A relationship is all about compromise. Without it, you have nothing. You cannot live your life revolving it around someone else's. This is not healthy, and trust me when I say that you will slowly become very resentful. There is no need for you to put up with it. Best believe that there are tons of guys that would bend over backward just to spend ten minutes with you, let alone refuse to meet you halfway.