If He Does These 15 Things, He's Probably Not Into You
Here's a little girly secret everybody should know by now: when girls at your high school giggle like 4-year-olds to a new, fluffy toy, it's not because we find a man cute. It is because we're figuring out if that man is seriosuly into women or not. Yes, there are these kinds of girls. Not all young ladies are eyeing for the hot guy, the rich guy, the perfect guy that will help them survive high school, and then the drama of growing up and adulthood. Some girls just wanna have fun, you know… some girls just want to dissect a man from afar, study his ways of saying things and his body language and gather hints on whether or not he swings the other way. Now if you're not that kind of woman, worry not. There are still tons of ways to know if your boyfriend is not into the ladies and whether you believe it or not, it's often the smallest signs that speak the loudest.
18 He doesn't care if you go clubbing almost every night
Men have the tendency to be strict when it comes to their girlfriend's clubbing schedule. Oftentimes this is because they worry and because they get jealous that you spend more time with your gal pal at a nightclub. Basically, they're just being worried that you're at a nightclub without them. It's called being a boyfriend, so if your man is strict with your clubbing schedule, worry not. You should, however, be a little worried when he allows you to club and hang out with friends 'til morning or even have weekend escapades with your pals. You should be a little worried when he doesn't yell at you for not spending time with him in the bed and for choosing to celebrate your colleague's birthday. Because if he doesn't care if you go out too much, it's probably because he's not that interested in being with a woman.
17 He spends more time at the gym than at home with you
Men love the gym, we get that. A lot of men cannot stand a week with no gym visits and if things get more intense, they end up bringing the gym at home. They end up filling the tiny apartment you two rent with all the gym equipment. And you let him because he's a good guy and a great boyfriend. But if your boyfriend does not bring the gym home and instead, he practically lives at a gym elsewhere, that's something else. It can be because he prefers to workout at the gym. Where there are a lot of men hotties. Where he can work out, do his thing like any other gym-goer, but at the same time let his mind wander. Woman, if your guy spends more time at the gym than at home, cuddling with you in the middle of Seattle rain, you might want to reconsider being with him.
16 He doesn't care if you don't like dresses and skimpy clothes
Men love women in dresses and skimpy clothes. That is a fact. And no, it is not wrong. If your guy used to love you in dresses and suddenly, things started to change, you might want to be cautious. You might want to be extra keen. People change, yes. And maybe, maybe he is changing. Maybe he is learning that you are pretty whether you wear a dress or apron or whatever horrifying clothes you can come up with. Maybe he's learning that women are more than the clothes they wear and maybe it is him, loving you so much he doesn't care if you wear a crappy jacket and you're walking with him on the streets. But then there's the alarming side… maybe your man doesn't care if you don't like the dress anymore because he is more focused on staring at other men. Or maybe it's because he's getting attracted to the male figure he sees in you when you go for the more androgynous look.
15 He tends to be overly secretive
Most men hate it when women become too secretive. Even if we're not being too secretive, even when we just have these very few things we cannot tell them but we can tell our gal pals, men immediately call that secretive. And they all hate it. Probably except for those men who are also secretive. Okay, we're not saying he's automatically gay if he keeps a lot of secrets from you. Some men are just like that. It's their normal. But the thing is, there's this certain part of being secretive that is not normal. The kind where they mask it with something else so you won't suspect them of having secrets and you won't suspect them of being gay. That part, that is what you should keep an eye on. Because if you're in an unhappy relationship, you need to consider everything, including the possibility that maybe the relationship isn't working because your man is not straight and he'd rather be with a man too.
14 He spends a lot of time catching up with his male friends
Don't you find this annoying? Seriously, don't you think these men who spend too much time with their colleagues and their high school buds and college buds are just being immature? We, women, hate this. Sometimes, we prefer our man to come home 30 minutes earlier because he exerted efforts in finishing his job early so he can spend more time with us. Women are okay with catch-up nights and hanging out with officemates and stuff, but if it happens more often than it should, now that's probably not just because of the good wine and good stories. That's probably because your boyfriend is actually attracted to men or more comfortable when he's with men than when he's with you. Girl, if you see this red flag you better not ignore it because you'll just hurt yourself if you would choose to look the other way.
13 He has super simple fashion choices
Okay, so men's fashion is often simple. Especially when compared to women's. But there's a fine line between a man who chooses simplicity for comfort and a man who chooses simplicity because it is through simplicity where he can easily hide his, uhm, gayness. Now there is nothing wrong with this. Sometimes, men who are still figuring things out choose the simplest clothes he can wear so he doesn't have to deal with all the fashion fuss. And that's not a problem. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you're in a relationship with this kind of man and he refuses to talk about things, maybe you need to think things through. There's really no problem with being with a gay man, but the least he can do is tell you he's gay. Or that he's confused and he might be gay. If you're an awesome girlfriend, you deserve to know.
12 He doesn't cuddle you in public
This hurts like hell especially when all your gal pals have boyfriends and all their boyfriends are huggers and cuddlers and people who can't survive when not holding the hand of the love of their lives. And you're with a guy who doesn't even want to have skin-to-skin contact with you in public, a.k.a. doesn't feel comfortable holding your hand, much less hugging you. So yes, it sucks. But what sucks more if you're experiencing this and you have no idea why. Well, let us tell you why… your boyfriend doesn't cuddle with you in public probably because he's still figuring out whether he wants to cuddle with a man or a woman. Sometimes, it's okay to ask and other times, we should just give them space. Either way, it's your call and whatever you choose, know that if he loves you, he'll understand. And he will respect whether you ask him about it or you just wait for things to get clearer.
11 He doesn't check out other women
Of course, we don't want our man to check out other women. This is probably that one thing all women are allergic to - we're all allergic to men who cannot stop staring at other women's behinds and chest blessings or and 8-figure bods. We hate it when men even have the time to look at them rather than focus their attention to us - their ever-amazing partner. But see, sometimes this is a good thing. Sometimes it's good that our boyfriends are looking at other women. It tells us that he is a straight man. It tells you that your partner is not interested in the opposite sex. But if he doesn't check out other women nor does he pay close attention to you, you may want to take a few steps back because it can be a sign that your man doesn't really want girls. It can mean that he's probably not straight.
10 He suggests you go for a short hair
If you're the long hair kind of woman all your life and he knows that, there's only one reason why he is suddenly suggesting you to cut your hair short. It's because he wants you to have that man-like appearance. It's because he finds it more interesting or more comfortable to be with a man-like person (at least physically, at least with the hair). Now just to be clear, this isn't something you should be mad about. If you feel like your boyfriend doesn't even know he is gay, this is not something you should be enraged about. However, if you strongly feel that he already knows he is interested in the same gender as his, and he's trying to make you “look like” a man, now that, that is your ticket to madness. Just study the situation first… be open about his feelings and thoughts and see if he's giving off signs that he's planning to tell you about his confusion.
9 He tries to be playful but you can notice how fake it is
Being playful in bed is not something every man loves. Some of them prefer to go simple and focus on the basics. Others understand the give and take thing and even when they're not 100% okay with being playful, if their partner loves it then they will go for it sometimes. And then there are the men who just draw a thick, black line between playful and basic. You know it already, yet remind you from time to time that they don't want to be playful. But some nights just lead to playful nights and if your partner is a good man, he will respect the game and the challenge. He won't throw you out of the bed. But you will know in an instant if he's just faking it. You will know in an instant if he's truly willing to be crazy with you or he's just faking his hotness.
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7 He's considering another man
Okay, we're trying not to be biased here but when it comes to spicing things up, it's usually the woman who opens up about it. When in a serious relationship, men tend to be serious and territorial. But women? Women always have this fun and playful side. it's not that they don't like you or they're not content with what their partners can do. It's just that sometimes, having another person in bed is extra fun. Now if your man opens up about his desire of making things a little more interesting, but with another man, that's a red flag, girl. We're not saying break up with him, we're just saying you need to be a little extra cautious because chances are, if he wants an extra man in bed instead of an extra woman, then he might actually be interested in that sort of thing. And we're not saying it's wrong. It's just a warning… you would want to know if your partner is gay or not, right? Because if not then you won't be reading this article.
6 He blames his disinterest on depression
Ah, depression… the culprit of everything including lack of interest. Is there even a man not interested in being with a woman in every being physical with a woman. They've become more mature and instead of staying in bed all day, they choose to hustle. Heck, most younger people today choose to hustle and live a carefree life. However, if your man is saying he doesn't want to do it because he's so depressed about the many things he can't even explain clearly, that's a sign. If he keeps on saying his work is depressing or he had a long day just like yesterday and the day before and the other days for the past three months, that's not just being depressed. That is probably him, avoiding any intimate time with you because he's not interested in what's under your skirt.
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4 He loves to make cruel jokes and comments
Some men are plain bullies, there's no question to that. Heck! Even us, women, are bullies sometimes. It's human nature to be a bully. We all have that mean bone in our bodies. But if most of us can control our bully, including most men, there are also other men who just can't take control of it. There are other men who made it their lives' work to bully gay people and to make evil gay comments as if being gay is a sin and gay people will burn in hell. But if you think this is because your man is immature or a big homophobe, think again. His cruelty towards gay people can also be caused by the fact that he too, is gay, and he still can't put a finger on it. It's probably because he's jealous of those gay couples and he can't understand why he feels jealous.
3 He's more touchy-feely with your male friends
And by 'your friends,' we mean his and your friends. If he's touchy-feely with his guy friends and you see it all the time, you've probably come to accept the fact that he's just like that. He and his friends have that special, touchy-feely bond. However, when he starts to be more touchy-feely with your male friends as well, now that's when you should sound the alarm. You need to up your gaydar here girlfriend because this touchy-feely thing is not always easy to detect. So if you're having your suspicions or something, know that it's always better to ask him and be cool about it, rather than go wild and demand answers. Because maybe your man is still in the dark with this too. Just give him a chance to chill and figure out why he loves to be more, uhm, touchy-feely with males. Trust that he'll tell you when he's ready, though it's good to know about the signs…
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1 He doesn't like to talk about his past girlfriends
Some men just don't like to talk about their past partners. Pretty much like some women hate it when their boyfriends ask about their exes because then, they will have to tell this long story where they fell madly in love with the wrong guy and they ended up shattered. If you're the kind of woman who doesn't enjoy discussing your past love life with your current boyfriend, you would understand. And you would also understand why he doesn't want to talk about his past girlfriends as well. But again, sometimes we need to dig deeper. Why does he hate it when we ask about his past girlfriends? What are his facial reactions and what does he tell you when you start asking about his life before you came? See, just because a man doesn't want to talk about his other girls before you don't mean he's gay. But it also doesn't mean that he's not.