8 Things To Always Do When Online Dating And 7 To NEVER Do
Online dating is no longer a last resort at finding someone to spend your life with or something that only so-called cat ladies use. It's become a super popular way of finding love and chances are, you've given it a try at least once, and you definitely know some couples who have met by swiping or messaging. That doesn't mean that using dating apps or websites is super simple, though. It's usually crazy complicated and there a lot of do's and don'ts, just like anything else in life. Don't worry. You can totally find love this way. A lot of people have, so why can't you? Exactly. You totally can. You have this under control, no matter how crazy and confusing and strange it might feel at times. Here are 8 things you should always do when online dating… and 7 things that you should absolutely NEVER do.
15 Be Honest In Your Profile
You don't want to lie in your profile, of course, but there are a few ways that you can sell yourself short and seem like you're not telling the entire truth. When you fill out your profile, be honest about who you are and what you love and hate. Don't go into tons of detail about how you feel about the current season of Grey's Anatomy, of course, because that might not be the best idea (save it for the first date). But definitely tell your story. Talk about what you like to do in your free time, what you do for a living, why you love your job, etc. If you make things too vague and generic, then no one is going to get to know the real you and think that there's anything worth getting to know, as harsh as it might sound. Don't spend hours upon hours crafting the perfect profile, but be as honest as you can be, and things will go well from there.
14 Send The First Message
You might think that it's traditional for guys to ask girls out, but it's not the old days anymore. It's totally and completely fine for a girl to ask a guy out. In fact, this is how a lot of relationships start. There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking a guy out or messaging him first. So definitely send the first message. Honestly, if there is one thing that you do when online dating, this should be it. Send the first message. Send a whole bunch of first messages to a whole bunch of people. You have probably heard the saying that dating is a numbers game and there is absolutely some truth to it. If you go on one first date a year, for example, and it's a horrible date like so many of them are, then that's not the best idea. You're not going to be able to meet someone that you like. So definitely send the first message and make sure that you're contacting people who you want to chat with and hopefully meet in person for a real date.
13 Let Your Personality Shine
If you're funny, then make sure that people can tell when they check out your profile or when you're chatting with some guys and deciding if you're going to meet up and grab a drink. Let your personality shine. This isn't meant to stress you out. Sure, you might feel a ton of pressure to seem interesting on a dating app or when using a dating site, but you don't have to make it such a big deal. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. If you were talking to someone who said things like "yeah" and "okay" and "yes" or "no", aka one-word and super boring answers, would you want to meet them in person and have a more boring conversation in person? Of course not. So remember that when you're chatting with someone. Be yourself and you will have better conversations and first dates than you ever could have dreamed of.
12 Forget About It When You're Offline
This is a tough thing to do but it's yet another total must when you're online dating. The thing is that you have to give yourself some time off from searching for love. You can't use these sites every day of the week, every hour of the day. But then again, you definitely won't want to, because online dating is exhausting AF. When you're offline and living your regular and amazing life, then forget about the fact that you're online dating. Hang out with your friends. Read a good book. Enjoy the career that you love. Watch your favorite TV show. What, you're going to stress out and worry about your dating life so much that you can't even have fun when you're taking a break from finding dates?! That's not the best idea. It's actually the worst one ever. Once you can figure out a balance between your life and your dating life, you will feel much better.
11 Keep Things In Perspective
It's easy to think that the person that you're talking to is going to want to go on a date with you, and that date will lead to another one, and another one, and soon you're going to be in a serious relationship. But… that's putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. That's being a bit too optimistic and unrealistic. Keep things in perspective and remember that in the grand scheme of things, aka your life, not hearing back from a guy that you messaged or not getting a date from a few conversations are not going to matter. You might be bummed out and sure, it definitely is a disappointment, but remember that this is normal. This happens to everyone. And when you don't go on any dates for a few weeks, not for lack of trying but because you just can't seem to get a date, don't worry about it or even think about it. It will happen.
10 Try A Few Apps/Sites
You might love Tinder or another popular dating app and not want to even try anything else. And that's okay. But if you really want to up your chances of finding dates and meeting someone, then you probably want to try a few apps and websites. You don't have to go too crazy. You don't have to download every single dating app that exists out there and feel like you're spending every waking moment using the stuff. That's a way to get really stressed out and exhausted. You're not superwoman, even if you are super awesome. But it might be a good idea to try two dating apps. That way, if you're not getting any dates or even talking to anyone when you're using one of them, you can switch it up and try the other one. Or you can use them both equally a day or two a week. It's honestly all going to be okay.
9 Get Some Advice
You may be the one going on these dates and of course it's your life and your love life. And yet you really should be getting some advice if you're confused about something. Your best friends are going to be totally thrilled to give you some dating advice. You shouldn't discriminate based on whether your friends are single or in relationships, though. Your single friends can be a super valuable source of information and help at this point in your life. They can tell you how they know that they had a good first date (or a good second date), what they do when their crush doesn't text them back, or any number of things that will be super useful to you. Your friends who are coupled up will also help you, of course, since they met someone that they were able to connect with and start a relationship with. Don't be shy.
8 Actually Go On Dates
This might sound crazy since, well, isn't the entire point of online dating to actually go on dates?! Yeah, it should be, but unfortunately, a lot of people are terrified of going out with other people. It's a thing and it sucks and it's weird and it's confusing but that's the way that it goes sometimes. If you want to be successful, then you need to go on a date, and that's it. This means that you have to be super careful about talking to someone for too long before setting up a date. If they don't want to go on a date with you after you've chatted for an hour or two, then they're not looking to date anyone and you should move on and find someone else. This is honestly the best thing that you can do for yourself. Don't waste your time and be cautious about people who just want to talk and talk and talk without actually going out.
7 Don't Go On Looks Alone
Of course you don't want to date someone that you don't find attractive. That's just a given. You don't want to go on looks alone, though. It's easy to get charmed by a super hot guy and not realize that he's telling you that he doesn't want a relationship with you or that he doesn't have any ambition (or maybe he doesn't even have a job). Remember this and don't get too caught up with how someone looks. As long as you think that they seem pretty cute, then go out with them. Get to know them. Figure out their personality, who they are, what they want in life, what they love, what they hate, and so on. If you're not attracted to someone and there's no chemistry, then definitely move on and don't waste your time. But if you feel like you could grow to like someone, that's a thing too. It just really depends.
6 Don't Take Rejection Personally
You're going to get rejected when you're online dating. That's a fact. It's not you. It's not even necessarily the other people. It just happens and that's it. The best thing that you can do is not take rejection personally. That means if you message some guys and they don't answer, then you shouldn't care about it one bit. That means that if you're chatting with someone and they don't want to go out with you in person, then you have to stop talking to them and move on. That also means that if you use these apps for a while and don't get anywhere, you shouldn't feel bad about it or yourself. Remember that everyone who is dating is online dating (well, maybe not everyone but definitely a good chunk of single people) and everyone who is online dating gets rejected sometimes. That's why ghosting is such a big thing. Don't take it personally and you will be fine.
5 Don't Ignore Your Gut
Your gut is there because it's going to tell you what to do in tricky and confusing and complicated situations. You can ignore your gut instincts. That's totally a thing that people do. But… you can probably guess how well that works out. You're going to be miserable because you're not doing what you feel is right in your heart and what you know is right in your brain. When online dating, you absolutely can't ignore your gut. You will feel that someone is worth talking to, you will feel that someone is worth meeting in person, and you will also feel that someone is worth seeing a second time. This actually makes things a million times easier. You won't have to make decisions with your head, really, because your heart is going to be telling you what to do instead, and you just go with your gut instincts and keep moving forward.
4 Don't Listen To Your BFFs All The Time
Yeah, you should definitely rely on your best friends for some great advice, but that doesn't mean that you have to listen to them all the time. They are awesome and they are lovely people but they are not always right, and that goes for anything in life, not just dating. Of course you're not always 100 percent right about everything either, so this isn't an insult. This is just you being realistic and logical. If your friend isn't sure that the guy in your life is trying you right but you really feel that he is, then do what you want and make sure that you're on the correct track. Remember that while your friends love you and care about you and what the best for you, you have to listen to yourself and do what you actually do what you want to do. You don't have to date the people that they think that you should. That's not a good idea.
3 Don't Date Whenever You Feel Like It
If you wait to go on dates when you really feel like it, the truth is that you might never go on a date. Why? Because dating isn't always fun. Yeah, what a concept. If you're interested in finding love and meeting someone, then you have to treat dating as seriously as you do your job or other parts of your life. It might sound weird because maybe in the past, you waited until you met someone IRL and then dated them, or maybe you used Tinder a few times a month when you were bored and then ended up getting dates that way. But you definitely want to have some kind of schedule. You might want to use these apps one hour a day, or you might want to use them twice a week, but either way, you shouldn't be focused on the whole thing. You're going to enjoy the process so much more and it won't seem so all-consuming.
2 Don't Overthink Everything
Ask anyone who has online dated and they will tell you that it's really confusing and can make you question what you're doing and why things aren't working out. You can stress out until you're blue in the face and things still won't make tons of sense. And that's just the nature of the beast that is online dating. You should never overthink everything that happens to you. Whether that's first dates that don't turn into second ones or even just messages that never turn into first dates, you can't focus on the negative stuff. It's not going to allow you to move forward and that's really the only thing that you should be thinking about. When it comes to dating, overthinking doesn't mean that you're going to get this guy to like you or want to commit to you, so it's honestly not something that you should be doing.
1 Don't Feel Ashamed
The thing is that even though online dating is no big deal and pretty normal these days, you still might feel a bit of shame about using these tools. You might wonder why you never meet any guys in your regular life or why you have to go online. You might feel like something is wrong with you. This is the truth: absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You're totally amazing. It's only a matter of time before you meet someone. Never, ever be ashamed of anything that you're doing or anything that you enjoy because that's just lame and no way to live. You're doing what you should be doing and it's all good. It doesn't matter what your friends or family think. They can say it's crazy that you're still single and that you should be meeting guys in your normal life and that you're just not looking hard enough or trying hard enough or putting a vibe out or whatever they want to say. They're totally wrong. Keep doing you, keep online dating, and things will honestly work out just fine. Actually, they will definitely work out even better than fine.
