16 Signs You're Crushing On Him, Even If You're Trying Not To
So you've just met a guy. You have chemistry with him, you get along well, and you find him attractive, but he's just not your type. If anything, you're more upset that you have such positive feelings for this guy than you are about anything else in your life. Why can't this guy just go away and get out of your head?! Sorry to tell you, but you're crushing on him, but you just don't want to admit it. The worst thing about that is that it feels like your heart is not listening to the rest of you. Your brain knows that the guy might be bad news or otherwise just not compatible for you, but your heart just doesn't care.
There are a lot of signs that you might hate that you're falling for someone, but we've narrowed them down to sixteen major signs that we've seen everyone in this situation show. Some of these signs have to do with your emotional state or random feelings that you're having despite you not wanting to have those feelings or not knowing why you have them. Other signs have to do with your behavior and how you prioritize different things in your life. There's a lot to talk about here, so without any further delay, here are sixteen of the biggest signs that you're crushing on him whether you like it or not.
16 When You Think About The Next Few Years, He's There In Some Way
Are you a person who thinks about the future? I'm not talking about fifty years from now, I'm talking like five years from now or even a year from now. Is this guy there in some way? You don't have to be married to him or even dating him in this future you're thinking about, but you might see him in your future as a person that means a lot to you or even just a person that you're still associated with in the future. Doing this shows that you're placing value in the guy as a person, whether you want to date him or not. You might be doing this because you like him as a friend or because you like him as something more than that. Even if you're not willing to admit that you have a crush on him or are falling for him more seriously, doing this shows that you value the guy in your life and what he brings to the table.
15 You're Feeling More Upbeat But Don't Have A Reason
Have you found yourself feeling more upbeat than normal? This is different from feeling generally happy, by the way. I'm not talking about your general mindset or psyche, I'm talking more about the natural spring in your step. When you like someone, the endorphins from all those cheery feelings tend to show by making you seem peppier to other people. However, your issue with this is that you won't be making the connection that your spring in your step has anything to do with the guy who you smile at like he confuses you a bit. You might even find yourself questioning why you're just so darn ready to face the day, especially on days where you know you're going to see him.
14 You're Having Mood Swings
Do you often find yourself oscillating between different moods at the drop of a hat? That's pretty normal, but it could also be a sign that you've got a crush on someone and don't want to admit it. Think about the last time you saw the guy in question. Did you find yourself really happy and upbeat after you saw him, only to get irritated with him or even yourself for feeling that way? That's a relationship mood swing, and if you're around the guy a lot, you might find yourself experiencing them a lot. This isn't because you like the guy or something that he did, it's because you're refusing to admit the effect that he has on you.
13 You Gravitate To His Likes And Dislikes For No Reason
Does the guy in question have some weird interests? More importantly, do you find yourself fascinated by them to the point of giving them a shot yourself? That's a big indicator that you like the guy, or at least that you're trying to make an effort to understand him. This goes double if the guy has an interest that's totally not in your wheelhouse. For example, if you're a girl who likes your Uggs and pumpkin spice lattes and you're in denial about having a crush on a guy who loves trading card games, you might find yourself at your local comic book shop and look at things you weren't interested in before. Sure, this could be because you're genuinely interested in his hobby, but why are you interested in it? Think about the reasoning behind it.
12 You See Him As "Yours" Even If That's Illogical
How do you feel when this guy is around other girls? Are you happy for him when he makes dates with other girls, or do you feel a twinge in your gut like you don't think he should be dating them? Do you have this feeling that he's yours, even if you have literally no reason to feel that way? You might know that you have no claim over this guy or anything he does, and you're totally aware that he has no obligation to be loyal to you, but you have this weird feeling of possession over him. More importantly, you know you're being crazy to think this way, but it doesn't actually stop you from feeling that way. That's a huge sign that you might have deeper feelings for the guy than you'd want to admit.
11 Trying To Be Indifferent Just Feels Like Lying To Yourself
You might have gone out of your way to convince yourself that you don't like the guy, and for all intents and purposes, it might have worked. You might not feel anything we've talked about here at all and be reading this smugly, thinking that we've just validated your assertion that you don't like this guy. However, you probably have this feeling that you're not being entirely truthful with yourself. You might feel like every time you tell yourself that the guy is bad news or that it'll never work feels like you're telling yourself a lie. You're just afraid to stop telling yourself that lie because then you'll have to deal with the fallout of those feelings and possibly confess them to the guy to see where things go. That's a pretty scary thing to do, but I can promise you that regardless of the answer, being honest is worth it.
10 You're Happy But You Hate It
Have you suddenly been feeling happy, but you dislike that you're happy? The best way I can illustrate this feeling for you is by mentioning famous grouches like Oscar or the Grinch. As much as they want to be a curmudgeon about everything, they're put into situations that put them in touch with their feelings and you can actually see their hearts grow a few sizes. That's how you feel in life. Things might be going off the rails in other parts of your life, but when you think about him you're happy. The problem is that you don't want to admit that you like the guy, so you find yourself unhappily stewing in your happiness. It's a weird place to be in emotionally.
9 You Treat Him Like He's Special But You Don't Know Why
As much as we hate that we do this, the guys that we like often take a special place in our lives. We find ourselves prioritizing them even if they aren't our boyfriends. However, this is kind of a problem when you don't want to admit you like the guy. You'll find yourself treating him with a certain amount of deference that you can't explain. People around you will totally know why and let you know that you're doing it because you like the guy, but because you're still in denial, you won't want to admit it. You might even find yourself trying to treat him worse than you would normally because you'd rather do that than admit that you like him and tell him that.
8 You're Moody Around Him Specifically
You might not find yourself feeling super moody in general, but you'll definitely find yourself feeling different, conflicting feelings around the guy in question. Again, let's think back to the last time you saw this guy. Really think about it and be honest with yourself. How did you feel the last time you saw him? Did you feel normal around him, or did you find yourself feeling happier around him or even like you trust him when you feel like or even know that you shouldn't? Do you find yourself going back and forth between treating him like a real crush and treating him like he doesn't exist to you?
7 If You're In A Relationship With Someone Else, The Spark Starts Disappearing With Them
Are you in a relationship already? That's a totally valid reason to deny to yourself and the world that you might have chemistry with someone else. Before you start beating yourself up, just know that while you can choose to betray your relationship or to be unfaithful, you don't choose who you have chemistry with. Chemistry isn't something you choose, but everything you choose after that is. That being said, you might find that the new guy who has your interest has you thinking less about your current partner, whether you do anything to betray his trust or not. Sometimes a crush is just a crush and it passes, but sometimes feelings for a new guy pop up at a time in your life where you actually should be reevaluating your relationship. Listen to your heart on this one.
6 He Pops Up In Your Thoughts For No Reason
Have you ever had an invasive thought? An invasive thought is basically exactly like it sounds: it's a thought that ends up popping into your head when you don't want it to. A good example of this is "The Game." It's a game where the only rule is that you cannot think about the fact that you're playing the game, because if you do, you lose and have to announce your loss to the world, causing other people playing to lose. Unfortunately, the more you think about how much you don't want to think about something, the more you think about it. It's like your brain doesn't want you to ignore your own thoughts or something! Also, I lost the game, which means you all lost the game. Sorry, guys.
5 You Confide In Him More Even If You Have Better People To Talk To, And You Let Him Confide In You
You might have a whole squad of trusted confidantes, but when you've got a crush on a guy that you trust, you might find yourself not confiding so much in your squad and talking to him more about your problems and the things that make you tick. On the flip side, you might find yourself always lending an ear to him when he has problems, whether he has a squad himself or not. This just goes to show that you might find yourself trusting the guy you've got a crush on, whether that's because he's a friend or because it's just against your better judgment. Either way, you might find yourself caring about his problems and more importantly, wanting him to care about yours.
4 You're Putting More And More Importance On Him
Do you find yourself considering the guy you like's feelings when you do certain things? It doesn't have to be anything big and to be honest, it's probably better that you don't make him the lynchpin of big decisions. That being said, you might find yourself making smaller, less life-changing decisions based on what he'd think. Think about why you chose to wear the outfit you did the last time you knew you were going to see him. Was there even a part of you that thought that he'd like what he saw if you wore that specific thing? Maybe you did your makeup and you never wear it, or you wore your hair a certain way? It goes to show that there's a part of you that's treating him like he's important, even if he doesn't know it and you don't really know it yourself.
3 You Empathize With His Issues
There's a difference between letting someone confide in you and being interested in what the guy has to say and actually feeling for someone's situation. That's the difference between sympathy and empathy, and it's a big one when you're dealing with someone you care about whether you want to or not. Do you find yourself empathizing with this guy, even caring about the minutiae of his day? That's a big sign that you might have feelings for the guy. If you feel this way and you're trying not to feel this way, it's a big sign that you're in denial about your feelings for him.
2 The Chemistry Is Off The Charts, But You Hate That
Let's say the guy in question is a friend with benefits. You might be just messing around with him thinking that you don't have any real feelings, or even knowing that you don't have any feelings for him and he doesn't have any for you. However, there's an energy between the two of you that's totally impossible to deny. Being around him could be like a slow burn of tension that ends in some decidedly X-rated activity, or it could be just a feeling of closeness to him. More importantly, this isn't one-sided: he's giving just as good as he's getting in this sense. This is a good indicator that the two of you are catching more serious feelings. This can also happen for people who aren't friends with benefits either: if you both feel chemistry that draws the two of you together, it might mean that you guys like each other.
1 You Feel Out Of Control
Are you a person who feels very in control of your emotions? Do you make it a point to be in everything you do? If you're that sort of person and even if you're not, having feelings for someone that you don't want to have would be really frustrating for you. After all, you're a person who likes to maintain control over how they're feeling, and you're not in control of your feelings now. You're not used to letting your heart get ahead of your brain, so the idea of jumping into something with a guy you might not be sure about might be really scary to you. To be honest, denial isn't the way to go, and it's that denial that's making you feel out of control. The best thing for you to do would be to let the guy know how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. The worst that could happen is that it doesn't work out, and it's not the end of the world if that's the case. At least you won't be in denial, wondering what if.
