15 Times It Is Acceptable To Take Back A Cheater

Cheating is one of the worst things you can put your partner through. It happens all of the time, and it is completely dependent on both people in the relationship what follows next. It is true, a lot of the time when someone cheats they will do it again. Cheaters usually have no regard to anyone's feelings but their own. Being unfaithful is one of the selfish things you can do to the person you love. However, there are always exceptions to the rule. People DO make mistakes. People do slip. This world of endless temptation is horrific for monogamy, and cheating becomes more and more prominent in today's society. I am in no way implying that you should forgive someone who cheats more than once - What is the saying - fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If your S/O cheats, of course it is entirely up to you whether you want to walk away or not. Here are 15 instances in which I truly believe that it is okay to stay when your boyfriend cheats:

15 If you think you can ACTUALLY forgive and trust him again

When someone cheats, I believe that you should try to forgive them: regardless if you want to stay in the relationship or not, for your own sake. Holding onto resentment is exhausting. Forgiveness is one thing, but being able to trust and be with him again is another. Even if he follows all of these steps, at the end of the day it is entirely up to you whether you stay. Some people can handle it, and some just can't. it has nothing to do with self-esteem, it says nothing about who you are as a woman if you stay, it is just a choice. I wouldn't take anyone back who doesn't do everything in their power to make it right again. A terrible mistake like this needs to be rectified by the person who cheated. If they are truly sorry, if they truly love you, and if they truly want your relationship to get back on track… they will make it happen. No excuses.

14 If you two were on a break

Breaks are usually the time to assert whether a relationship is worth saving or not. there is no time limit to them. If you are away from your man for an extended period of time, it is never good news. I believe that in order for a man to stay faithful, they need to be having a physical relationship. Period. You don't have to agree with me, but very rarely will a good man cheat if they are getting it on on a regular basis. If you are on a break and he slips, is it really that concerning to you? Being intimate is just that. It is a human act in which we all partake in. He may have just been lonely, he may have just needed some attention. Whatever the case may be, I would look past it and move on. You are going to end things with the love of your life because of what he did when you two were on a break? Give me a BREAK - no pun intended.

13 If he earns his way back into your life

Of course, you have every right to keep him in the dog house as long as you want to. it is your right to be as mad as you want to be. You even have a right to shut him out for a little bit. Who wouldn't be livid? Anyone with a pulse would be absolutely furious at him. However, he is still doing everything in his power to try to earn back your trust and a place back in your life. He is at your complete mercy and will even fulfill the most ridiculous of requests. Trust me, the guy that truly loves you will go the extra ten miles to even just be in your presence again. Try it out - tell him that you want chocolate at 4 am and if he is at your house right away with a Hershey's bar, that is a man who cares. He will know that he messed up royally and will do everything to try to fix it. Whether it is leaving flowers at your door step every day, calling to check up on you… he will practically be on his hands and knees begging.

12 If he has never lied to you once

If he has given you absolutely no reason to not trust him beforehand, chances are you can trust him again. Cheating is horrible, and no one should ever do it. However, I have mentioned before if he told you right away, it shows that he is an honest person. Cheating for a man like this is completely out of character. Unless you have caught him in constant lies - whether they are malicious or not. A person who is constantly telling fallacies or fabricating everything is something called a pathological liar. These people don't change, and pathological liars are, you guessed it: serial cheaters. An honest and open person usually hates the idea of cheating. If he is usually these two things, chances are he will never do something to deceive you again. He will have learned his lesson, and rest assured that betraying your partner doesn't feel good for anyone with a conscience.

11 If he gave you all of the time you needed to figure things out

He is not being pushy with you. He is allowing you to take your time to try to forgive him. Whether it is one month or six months, he will be there by your side whenever you are ready. Usually when a man is inconsiderate about your feelings, he really doesn't care if you are ready or not. A selfish dude will want you back when he wants you back, and will have no problem walking away if you're not ready when he wants you to be. This is serial cheater behavior, because their needs will always come before yours. His patience level matters, no doubt. If your man is completely understanding of your healing process, no matter how long it takes, he really cares about you and your needs. That is always a good sign. Again, totally your call whether you want to let him go completely or not.

10 If he is more affectionate than ever before

When someone's partner cheats, we can't help but feel insecure and uncomfortable in our own skin. It is natural to wonder what we did wrong for them to betray us like that. more likely than not, you are going to want him to show you that you are his one and only. Whether it is out in public or home watching a movie, you will want him to cuddle up to you. Or, you can feel the complete opposite. You may want nothing to do with him. It doesn't change the fact that he will be hugging and kissing you everywhere and anywhere, at any time. A man who is trying to make things right with his lady will always want to be near her and holding her. He will be over the moon to even get the opportunity to not only spend time with you but to have the chance to also show you how much he loves you physically.

9 If he is painfully remorseful

He is crying or vividly upset at all times. He is borderline depressed at the very thought of losing you. This is a man who loves and cares about you. He doesn't just say it, you can see it in his demeanor. He appears to be truly sorry for what he did. He will seem ashamed and embarrassed. Picture a puppy with its tail between its legs: that will be him. A man who knows what an awful thing he did will tell you that he is sorry until his face turns blue. He will beg and beg and beg for you to forgive him and it could even make you feel a little bit bad for him. Someone who is remorseful won't just say it, either: they will show it. He will make amends because it is just the right thing to do, not because he was forced into it.

8 He will identify the pain he caused you

He understands the damage that he caused to you and your psyche. A good man will recognize what he put you through. Being cheated on is by far one of the most traumatizing events to ever endure, and he is well aware of this truth. He knows that you are hurting. The last thing he would ever want to see is you in pain, but he understands that hiding anything from you will cause further damage. He knows that being more deceitful will just ruin any slight chance he had at getting you back, and that is a risk that he will just not take. He completely accepts all responsibility for his actions. He will not shift the blame on you in any way, shape or form. He takes the soul blame for putting your relationship at risk. And he will express all of this and more to you, no matter how many times you need or want to hear it.

7 If he tells you every detail… if you want it

When he confesses, your mind will start to run rapid with questions. You will want to know all of the dirty details. You will want to know where, when, why. I personally do not believe that these miniscule details matter, it will do nothing but hurt you. Curiosity killed the cat girlfriend. However, to each their own. If he is willing to tell you everything right down to the details of the act itself - you know he is trying to make things right. He will have nothing to hide and he will want you to try to come to terms with the situation so you can both move on. If he is being secretive about it, unwilling to share, or downright cold - you should dump his a$$. A man who continues to hide an infidelity is a man that will probably do it again. He won't want you to know the details because that means that you may catch onto his patterns.

6 If he agrees to go to therapy

Disclaimer: therapy is not for everyone. It is a possibility that you will want to go to couple's therapy to try to work things through with him. Maybe you two have issues that need to be resolved, maybe you need the help of a professional to learn how to trust him again. Regardless of the circumstance, if this is what you want and need, best believe that he will be there right by your side. Even if he despises the idea because it is a fact that most men are a tad uncomfortable, he is doing it to make you happy and for your mental health and for the sake of the relationship. It is even better if he suggests it, because it shows that he wants to utilize every tool that you two can use. In therapy, he will be fully mentally present and listen to everything that the therapist has to say in regard to how you two can make things better.

5 If he stops doing things that get under your skin

Men and women tend to be pretty misunderstanding of each other at times. It is a serious miracle that we can even coexist. Men have this special ability to really annoy the living sh*t out of us. Your boyfriend may do certain things or have gross habits that seriously piss you off. A man that is trying to get things back on track with you after being unfaithful will stop everything that he does that gets under your skin. He may have not paid attention before, but he most certainly is now. It could be anything as simple as leaving the toilet seat up or taking out the garbage when he promised. It could be changing his texting and calling habits and be more consistent. If he is truly sorry, he will be on his best behavior if he knows what's good for him.

4 If he hands over the passwords

This may be a little extreme and you may not even ask this of him, but he offers. He wants you to know that he has absolutely nothing to hide and you can have all access to his life. This is a gesture that shouldn't really be ignored. A man that wants to continuously cheat would rather die than hand over his phone. He wouldn't even allow you to glance over his shoulder when he is texting. Having all of the passwords to every social media page is really telling of his intentions. Although I personally do not believe in this - I think it is a total invasion of privacy, but it may just be what you need to start to trust him. Your faith in him is probably nonexistent at this point, and you may want to know his every move. I wouldn't blame anyone for this. Instagram and Facebook make it all too easy for men to be dogs, and it is no surprise if you would want to monitor his behavior for a little while.

3 If he told you right away

He immediately came home and told you that he made a terrible mistake. I'm not talking a few days later, I'm talking hours later or right away the very next day. If someone is not a cheater by nature, the guilt of hiding something like this from you will eat them alive, even an hour after it happens. A serial cheater will have no problem withholding information from you because they will most likely do it again, and they don't want to get caught in their ways. They know that the jig will be up, and that you could leave them. A good man knows when he is wrong and when to own up and apologize. A good man would never hide something so horrible from you because he knows how wrong he was to do it in the first place. Cheaters usually don't have a conscience, or they just don't care about you. If he immediately told you, that is definitely something to consider.

2 If it was one time and one time only

I don't really believe in the notion of: once a cheater always a cheater. I believe that we are all human, and we are all capable of messing up. Like I said, in today's day and age, there is so much temptation around. It makes it almost impossible for monogamous relationships to thrive. If it was ONE time, is it really worth completely destroying a relationship over? It is up to you. It is also entirely circumstantial. If it was with an ex, I wouldn't put up with that. Not even if it was once. That means that there is still some residual feelings left there, and emotional cheating is SO much worse than physical cheating in my opinion. With an ex, it is both. If it was multiple times, it doesn't matter who it was with. Once it has happened more than once, it becomes a choice rather than a mistake.

1 If he was absolutely plastered

I don't agree with the people that say that being drunk isn't an excuse, alcohol lowers your inhibitions. It is a fact. You do things that you would never normally do in real life. That includes cheating. If your man went out one night and made out with some random chick at the bar while he was blacked out, I don't believe that it is worth it to walk away from a man who is normally a phenomenal boyfriend. You don't know what actually went down. His boys could have pressured him into it if you two were in a fight. He could have not been conscious enough to make the right decision. If it was a one second kiss that he immediately regretted, I believe that that is forgivable.