15 Signs He Is Not Out Of His Player Phase

Men go through different stages throughout their love life. More often than not, they will have a player phase at one point in their lives. They want to play the field to get a little taste of everything before they settle down with one lady, unfortunately. They mature a LOT slower than women mentally, and a serious relationship takes a lot of maturity. There is nothing wrong with that! In fact, I am a firm believer that men need to live out of their twenties to get all of that temptation out of their system so they can be the most devoted partners to that someone special. If you happen to be on that same kind of non-committal vibe, then great! You will get along swimmingly with a guy like that for you two will have the freedom to do your own thing. However, if you are looking for something a little more stable and consistent, you should be aware of the man that displays certain habits. Here are 15 of them:

15 He goes to the club with the boys like it's his job

The kind of man that would rather go be a douche with his friends at the club than stay in with you is not ready to settle down. Men don't go to the club to have quality bro time, they go to hunt. For pretty prey. Tell me that it's' not accurate. Do you ever see a group of guys at a club NOT looking for girls to come to their table? No, don't believe him when he says he just loves to spend time with his boys. While this may be true if he just wanted to bond with his guy friends he would just save it for Football Sunday. Don't be naïve. The dude that goes to the club religiously is not the dude that is going to put a ring on your finger anytime soon, let alone take you or any other female seriously. So, stay away from the consistent club goers, they are never good news.

14 He sees you on the same day like a ritual

If a guy insists on seeing you on Thursdays but is strangely unavailable any other day of the week, you have to ask yourself why. What are they doing on all of the other days that they are not with you? Of course, like always, there are exceptions to this rule. Maybe he gets out of work early on Thursdays. There ARE legit excuses for this. But remember, that is the EXCEPTION. Most of the time, a guy like this has other women lined up for every other day of the week, or worse he has a girlfriend, or worse… a wife. If he has a set routine like this going, it means that he has some kind of shady system in place that you should definitely be worried about. You have to wonder why it has to be so precisely planned out, for the player is slick and he is always organized. But hey, those could just be my trust issues talking.

13 His calls are also shadily routine

If every time he calls you at the same exact time like clockwork, that is a serious cause for concern. He may be doing this to ensure that he has time to call the other women in his life! This is a classic player tendency, but sometimes we are just too blind to see it. Well, I am here to wake you the f up. It is SUS AF when a guy is calling you at 3 pm on the dot EVERY TIME he picks up the phone like a freaking phone nazi. Is he just not near his phone for the other 23 hours of the day? Is 3 pm just his designated phone time? That is pretty far-fetched. You are smarter than that. He probably has reminders in his iCal to remember to call which girl when. If he is calling you at 3 every time, he's probably calling Rachel at 4, and then Wendy at 5. Catch my drift? The dude is capital C calculated.

12 He is a little too charming

A little humility goes a long way. The guy that's a little nervous and stumbles over his words is the guy that is legit into you. On the other hand, the guy that is way too charming and slick like George f-ing Clooney is probably charming the pants off of 20 other women. If he is not the slightest bit nervous around you, it's probably because he has a lot of other options on the table. Why would he be scared to lose you when he has plenty of other ladies on his roster? This is not someone you want to date anyway. He doesn't value you, clearly! He knows the field is chalk filled with women that would just looooove to be romanced and charmed. Knowing this, he just has no desire to settle down. Why would he? He's having the time of his life. And please do not be saying in your head “Well, Amal tamed George and he's married”. Exception. To. The. Rule. And do you know how many women George was dating before he took the plunge

11 He never clarifies the status of your relationship

Someone who is still in their player phase of life is very careful with titles and names. He won't want to define the relationship in any way/shape/form. Depending on the level of douche he really is, he will either want to string you along with the other women or keep you around as an FWB. The man who is ready for something serious will always clarify where the two of you are headed because they are not there to play any games. The player, on the other hand, loves games. He is a pro, he knows exactly what to do. He will throw lines at you like “let's just take it day by day” or “I don't want to promise you anything” or the classic “I don't do labels”. If you hear the last one, DEFINITELY run for the hills. It honestly does not matter how amazing of a woman you are, he is just not in his place for a relationship - his loss!

10 His reputation precedes him

If he has a rep for being a player… guess what? He probably is! If you are hearing pretty bad things about this dude from anyone and everyone who have no ill intent for you, you should lisssssten. Listen. Listen. Listen. Your friends have your back and they only want the best for you! Why would they lie? If you have doubts about their opinions, then listen to someone unbiased as well. If some random is telling you the story about how your guy did something really dirty, you need to dump him immediately. It's true, everyone has a past but if this behavior is repetitive it is not something that you want to endure for yourself. I have made this mistake one too many times. I thought that I could morph him into the man I wanted and I ignored red flags. Don't be me. You cannot change a man that doesn't want to be changed.

9 His friends are all playing the field

If his friends are all well-known playboys, he is no different. He may tell you that he is different than them, but he's not. Birds of a feather flock together - meaning people with shared interests will be found together. A guy that is out of the player phase of his life will most likely have a lot of married friends or friends with girlfriends. His circle is most definitely NOT all single men. If his bros are all single AF, and this is who he is interested in hanging out with because he loves being single too! He wants to partake in those activities and still be an idiot. Trust, there is no way around it. I wish I could tell you otherwise. Do you really want to date a guy that has all single male friends? You will never stop worrying when he goes out with them, no matter how faithful he may be.

8 His social media says so

I have mentioned this plenty in the previous articles I have written, but social media is all too telling of a dude's extracurricular activities. If he has some alarming things on his Instagram or Facebook - it should make you want to keep your distance. Some examples? Multiple pictures of him and women. Pictures of him at the club. Pictures of him at the club with bottle service and women. Tons of girls - pretty ones, following him. The same women are commenting and liking all of his pictures. You get the point, I hope! This is the kind of man that you need to stay away from if you don't want to get played. Best believe that his DMs are also filled to the brim with some thirsty b*tches. Trust when I tell you that those guys are the heartbreakers, I know from experience. You don't want to fall for someone who you have to constantly worry about what they are doing on their social media. Fall for the guy with pictures of fishing trips with his family and 100 followers. That man will never break your heart.

7 His words and actions never line up

When a man is serious about getting to know you, they will put in the effort and time. Sure, a player has a slick tongue and whispers sweet nothings in your ear, but he is completely inconsistent and reliable. Men are much smarter and callus than we give them credit for. They know exactly what to say to women to keep them hooked. Pay attention to his actions - not words. He can tell you how important you are until his face turns blue, but let him show it to you. A player often falls short with his promises and will always let you down. He is the type of guy to cancel a date last minute, or never call when he says he would. He doesn't really care about your feelings because he has no interest but doing the bare minimum. He doesn't invest too much time or money on someone because he has others to also cater to.

6 He is a master of the disappearing and reappearing act

We are all familiar with this type of assh$le: the magician. Now you see him, now you don't! He will ghost on you without a moments notice and pop back up like a rabbit in a hat - when the time is convenient for him. He will act like nothing is even wrong and send you a “hey what's up” text as if he didn't just disappear for a month. A guy like this has no respect for you, your time, or your emotions. He comes and goes as he pleases dependent on the type of options he has on the table. Sadly, he is probably unsatisfied with the women in his life in this very moment of time and uses you as an option. It's gross, I know… which is exactly why you should not give him the time of the day. This is a player in action.

5 He is not financially stable

Yes, financial stability says a lot about what kind of phase a man is in his life. He knows the money and time that comes with being in a relationship. When he is not where he wants to be monetary wise, he will probably not want to stop playing the field just yet. Men pride themselves on what they accomplish in their lives, and they want their other half to be proud of them. If he doesn't feel that he is ready to give one woman everything she wants, there is no way that he will want a relationship. When I talk about a man being in a player phase, I don't mean that he is a bad guy! More than likely not, he is just not ready. With that being said, he knows that a random date here and there won't cost him much. Casual flings won't cost him much at all. And friends with benefits will cost him an Uber ride, at best. The player would always rather indulge in these kinds of arrangements. A lot of the times, it is just about practicality.

4 He has no interest in getting to know your friends or family

The player understands that once the family gets involved, it has the potential to get serious. That is the last thing he wants - remember that he just wants no-strings attached type of relationships. Family = strings. If he is a half-decent human, he won't want to give you false hope like that. He won't ever get too close to your personal life, and he will equally keep you out of his. He is aware that once your lives become intertwined that it will be harder to slip away from. This is the type of guy that wouldn't be caught dead at your annual family Christmas party. He will make every excuse in the book to avoid this kind of event. What other reason would there be for him to miss it other than he doesn't want you, or even himself to get too attached to one another? Meeting the friends and family is a step that he just won't be willing to take.

3 His dating app game is too strong

Sure, there is nothing wrong with dating around. There are plenty of men who date a lot who are looking for something more serious. However, they will eventually stop if they find a girl who they can see a potential relationship with. If you are seeing tons of notifications from various dating apps popping up on his phone after months of dating, he is most definitely still conducting himself as a player and has no intentions of slowing down anytime soon. More specifically, be especially suspicious of the guy that spends a lot of his time on Tinder. We all know what the dudes are trying to accomplish on Tinder. This should be a no brainer for you! He probably has plans with women lined up left and right, none of whom he plans on taking seriously. Unless you are cool with being an option and you are dating around as well, you shouldn't give this guy the time of day after realizing this.

2 He never calls you by your first name

Pet names can be cute. But generic ones like “babe” and “beautiful” are usually pretty disingenuous. When a guy has a solid rotation of women, he would never want to get you confused with someone else, or heaven forbid… call you the wrong name.  There is no way he is taking that chance. Pay attention to how much he actually calls you by your name. Usually when a person is actually interested they will say your name a LOT, because they love the way it sounds! They will love everything about you. Of course, if you two share a lot of inside jokes and he has a special nickname for JUST you… that's pretty adorable. The more unoriginal the more likely it is a load of crap. Players are well aware that women eat pet names up, and they will take full advantage. Don't fall for the “babe” kind of dude.

1 He objectifies you

All he compliments is your physical appearance because that is the only thing he is interested in. When a guy is playing multiple women, he will probably have no time to get to know anything other than your body! The guy that is really done playing the field will want to know your soul and your mind. He will want to know all of your hopes and aspirations in life. he wants to know YOU, not just your body. A player will want nothing to do with that deep stuff. He just cares about getting it on and moving to the next. Is there really any other reason why a player is the way he is? It is to get much ass as possible, let's not beat around the bush here. Again: doesn't mean he is necessarily a bad guy, just means that that is his mode at this moment of time.