15 Reasons He Plays Hard To Get When You Know He Likes You

Let's say you really hit it off with a new guy. Maybe you met at a party a couple weeks ago, and you've been texting non-stop ever since. Or maybe you ran into him through a friend, and you somehow ended up getting into an awesome conversation. Or perhaps your professor assigned you together for a group project, and one day, you hung out to get some work done… but things got a little more romantic than either of you expected! However you met, one thing is certain you're into him, and you know for a fact that he feels the same way. What a relief, right? But something's wrong, even though you both know how the other feels, this dude is STILL playing hard to get! What's going through his head? Guys can be so confusing, so here's a quick breakdown of 15 reasons he might play hard to get even when he likes you!

15 He's Secretly Shy

Have you considered that maybe he's not trying to play hard to get, but he's just naturally difficult to get through to? Sometimes when you're into a shy guy, it can seem like he's just playing games and messing with your head when he doesn't return your texts, doesn't want to hang out, or gets a little awkward around your friends. Well, we're here to reassure that sometimes, the truth is actually pretty simple: he literally may just be shy. And shy guys aren't playing hard to get, they just ARE hard to get. It's tough to get them to open up to you, to admit how they feel, and to even ask you out on a real date! If you're getting the sense that he might just be naturally quiet and shy, don't freak out if it seems like he's playing games he just gets a little nervous, that's really it!

14 His Friends Don't Approve

Ugh, this one is SO annoying. And the younger you two are, the more likely it is to affect you. When we're in high school or just starting college, we tend to care a lot more about what our friends think of us. Be honest, don't you pick apart all of your moments with people with your friends? And if they don't like the sound of the guy, you're probably a little more reluctant to respond when he texts you again. Well, guys can be the same way. They may not act like it, but they secretly care a whole lot about what their friends think of every girl they date. So even if you two have totally hit it off, you have a great vibe going, and you're having a ton of fun every time you hang out… well, if his friends say they don't like you, he's going to hold back.

13 His Parents Are Crazy

So, what if this guy really, really likes you, wants to ask you out, and calls you every night just to fall asleep on the phone with you… but for whatever reason, he still gets shady about certain topics? Maybe you invite him over all the time, but he always has an excuse when you want to swing by his house. And you've been really open with him about your life, but he seems pretty secretive about his background. Well, he may be playing hard to get because his parents are just total psychos, and he knows that if he makes it official, they'll go nuts. Maybe they're super strict about him dating at all, or they only want him to date girls from their same culture or religion. It can happen! If you get a vibe that he doesn't have a great relationship with his parents, this could be why he's playing.

12 He's Super Busy

You know how some guys will say they just “don't have any TIME for a relationship,” or they'll blow you off with the excuse that they're just “SO busy all the time?” Yea, we've all encountered guys like that. But what if he seems like he's playing hard to get because his schedule is so packed that he actually is just hard to get a hold of? Maybe you think that he's ignoring your texts, but he's actually up late studying every night for some crazy difficult classes that he's in. Or maybe he does really want to hang out more often, but his boss keeps scheduling him for extra shifts that he can't turn down because he really needs the money. If it seems like he has a lot on his plate, he's probably not trying to blow you off on purpose, he may just be really short on time to hang out.

11 You're Coming On Too Strong

Alright, we all know how sometimes when we like a guy, we can go a little crazy. Look, when you're really head over heels for someone, it may feel like you just can't help it! Of course you're double texting, hey, you really want to talk to him, so who can blame you? And what guy wouldn't want to hang out with you every single weekend after seeing you in class every day in school? You're great company, right? It's totally not overkill! At least, that's what your brain on love feels like. Love can definitely be like a drug, and you just go wild thinking about the object of your affections. But have you ever considered that he might be playing hard to get because you're actually scaring him off a bit? If you're coming on too strong, he may back off a little, you don't wan to freak him out!

10 He's Seeing Someone

Now, we don't mean that he has a girlfriend he's not telling you about, we mean a friends with benefits or casual fling on the side. Maybe the reason he's playing hard to get is because his attention is divided between two women. If you think this might be the case, ask around about him a bit. Don't go snooping through his phone or hacking into his social media, because if your suspicions are wrong, you'll look like a total psycho and he'll go running in the other direction. But see if you can figure out what his deal is by asking his friends or people who know him well. If you start hearing people mention that he's with a certain girl pretty often, he may be “playing” you both at the same time! If this is the case, you may want to think twice about this guy he might not be honest.

9 He Doesn't Want A Relationship

So, this guy seems perfect, right? You have plenty of things in common, you never get bored when you talk to each other, he makes you laugh like crazy, and he always wants to hear about your day. And when you feel like the whole world is against you, he's your shoulder to cry on. What could be better? If things are going this well, of course he wants to make things official and be your boyfriend, right? Well, not always. Like it or not, some guys just do not want to be in relationships. Maybe they're still missing an ex, maybe they just don't feel “ready,” maybe they don't like you as much as you like them… the list goes on. So if he knows you're looking for a relationship, but he isn't, he may play hard to get because he thinks you'll lose interest and he won't have to end it directly.

8 You're More Experienced

Ever met a guy who seems really hesitant to get physical? Sure, he'll give you a kiss, and you both enjoy a good make out session, but anything beyond that and he suddenly has an excuse for not taking things further? There are a variety of reasons why a guy might act this way, and the important thing to remember is that you should never, ever push someone beyond their limits. Be patient! If a guy gets super nervous about hooking up, it may be because he knows that you're more experienced than him. And for guys, this can be a really intimidating scenario! Therefore, he may play hard to get so that he can put off admitting this to you! If this is the case, be super nice to him, guys are always pressured to be super confident while getting cozy, so if he's hesitant, just take your time and take it slow!

7 He Only Sees You As Fun

Now, the opposite scenario could also occur. Maybe you are way more experienced than he is and that makes him nervous… or maybe he just loves being with with a ton of girls, and he knows that playing hard to get makes it easier for him to play the field! This is super annoying, and we know that you would rather him just be honest with you and admit that he doesn't want to settle down with one girl. So if he's super into you one weekend, and then the next weekend acts like you don't exist when you ask if he wants to come to your friend's party… did his phone actually die, or was he out hooking up with another girl? If he constantly has stupid excuses for being unable to hang out, but you can see on social media that he's blowing you off, he probably is a total player.

6 Your Friend Likes Him

Okay, this is a bit of an obscure scenario, but it's definitely not impossible, so listen up! Let's say that you also have a few mutual friends with this guy, including a few female friends. Have you ever noticed one of them getting jealous when you mention him, or seeming a little weird when the two of you hang out? If a guy who's into you knows for a fact that one of your friends also likes him, he may hang back to avoid causing drama. Some guys may be total “drama kings” and want to pursue both friends, not caring about the consequences. But if a guy has any morals at all, he will probably want to avoid totally ruining your friendship. So if there's another girl in your friend group who also likes this guy, he might try to downplay what's going on between you to avoid conflict.

5 He's Immature

Look, some guys literally just have no idea how to treat a girl properly. Especially younger guys with little experience! Because of this, they'll often turn to advice from self-proclaimed pick up artists, older brothers, or these days, they may even look to YouTube or social media for guys they perceive as “gurus” on how to get girls! And what popular piece of advice will these guys all tell their fans who are looking for guidance? “Play hard to get.” And what will these immature guys do? Yup, they'll listen, and test it out on you. Some guys just have a lot of growing up to do, and you don't need to stick around while they do it if they're frustrating you. If you're starting to get the sense that this dude literally has no idea how to treat a girl right, feel free to run in the other direction.

4 He Just Loves To Play Games

Now we turn to the other side of the coin, yes, some guys play hard to get because they're inexperienced and literally don't know any better. And some guys play hard to get because they ARE experienced, and they would rather play games and mess around then get serious with anyone. They love the thrill of chasing someone, and they also love the thrill of BEING chased. They love knowing that they could text you at 2 a.m., and you would be so relieved to finally hear from them that you would wake up and answer without a second thought. They love the fact that some nights, you wait up for them to call you, and they know that even if they don't call, you won't be mad you'll just miss them even more. These guys are THE WORST. If this is the type of guy you're dealing with, he's not worth it.

3 He Knows It Won't Last

This is kind of sad, but it happens. Sometimes, a guy likes you, and he knows that you like him too, and you've both acknowledged how you feel about each other… but he knows it's not going to last even if he does ask you out. Maybe he's planning on moving soon and knows he can't handle long distance. Maybe all of his relationships in the past have ended really badly, and he knows that he isn't ready to try again just yet. For whatever reason, he might know that things would be temporary if you did make the jump and start dating, so he doesn't want to get in too deep. So he plays hard to get for now, has some fun, and waits for things to fizzle. It's frustrating, but be honest with yourself, would this relationship really last? And if the answer is no, you'll understand his behavior much better.

2 He Wants To Surprise You

Alright girls, this is the best case scenario. Don't get your hopes up too much, because it's rare that this is actually the reason for a guy playing hard to get. But if it is, you're in luck! So, sometimes, a guy is playing hard to get because he has a big surprise planned, and he wants you to be in total shock when he finally does ask you out. Maybe he wants to take you on a surprise road trip, and he's already got everything planned but he'll let you pick the playlist. Or maybe he has a reservation at a fancy restaurant, plus flowers all picked out in your favorite color. So for now, he's playing hard to get to keep you on your toes so that when the time is right, he can pull off his perfect surprise! Like we said, it's rare, but hey, it could happen!

1 He's Scared

We may think that guys feel comfortable asking girls out, making the first move, and generally leading the way in a relationship. But that's not always the case. In fact, most of the time, guys are just as nervous as we are! You know those “sweaty palms, red cheeks, butterflies in your stomach” moments? Yea, guys experience that too, whether we realize it or not! Sometimes, guys play hard to get because they're just plain scared. They're scared that our feelings will change. They're scared that they'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time and embarrass themselves. They're scared that we'll get bored of them, or find another guy that we like better, or dump them out of the blue. They start playing hard to get in an attempt to guard their hearts and protect their feelings. Let's be honest, we've all probably done the exact same thing before!