The Top 16 Weirdest Requests That Slid Into Women's DMs

Ladies, take a deep breath… now, exhale slowly. Feel a sense of relief flood your body, and serenity rush over you like a gusting wind. Why feel like that? Because, somebody [that somebody being Willie T. Plaza!] has FINALLY come forward to bring to the light the discourtesy, botheration and atrociousness women endure EVERYDAY inside of their DM's (Direct Message, a.k.a. Inbox). If you don't know, than you just don't know how bad it truly is! On a daily basis, majority of females receive messages in their inbox(es) from thirsty, creepy smutty guys; some of which, have requests that would even have Arnold Jackson (Gary Coleman) saying: "What you talkin' bout Willis?"

It's a topic that tends to get swept underneath the rug, but in reality, it's a subject that most definitely should be addressed-men, unsuitably sliding into women's DM's with the most perturbing messages. Impolite statements (i.e. "ooouuu baby, you're bod is so hot. let me please it."), repugnant inquiries (e.g. "real quick, can I see your gazongas?"), and undesired "junk mail" pics are just several of the irritating things women routinely get inside of their DM(s).

Ladies if you think you've seen it all [on social media], trust us - you ain't seen nothing yet! Here are 16 of the Weirdest Requests That Slid Into Women's DMs.

16 "I'm Throwing Up Blood"

Okay, we don't blame Bailie for one second for disregarding whoever this is that has slid into her DM. Chances are, the messenger is an ex-boyfriend and/or ex-lover (we gathered that from the statement, "I want you back bailie"). Look at him now though… PLEADING to be taken back. Mm hmm, he should of thought about that before he did whatever it is he did to piss Bailie off!

As you can see, this guy just doesn't take a hint. Therefore, the one and only thing that this guy could come up with in order to get Bailie to [potentially] respond was: "I'm throwing up blood." Not, "Bailie help! It's an emergency", nor "Hit me back Bailie, please. I have some money for you." Nooo, the best thing this whiz could come up with is to tell her that he's throwing up blood! Haha, yikes. Bailie, we feel your anguish.

15 "What You Want Me To Call It?"

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!! Evidently, this woman is not down for being serenaded nor wants a song written about her… well, at least she doesn't from this gentleman! Here's another weird request that ultimately made it to some poor woman's DM. First off, this guy hasn't figured out yet that the line, "You're so beautiful", is not a party favorite. Although, we figure this guy was on this girl's nerves far before that weak @ss line was implemented.

From that point on, it was just downhill for this dude. Getting a table at Liv (we're assuming he's referring to the club in Miami) didn't tickle the lady's fancy, so he instead opted to write a song for his lady of interest. When asked, "What you want me to call it?", the peeved woman responded with, "Restraining Order"! Bwahaha, now if he can't read between those lines than we don't know what to tell him.

14 "Would Love To Have YOU For Dinner"

See [fellas], this is the kind of bull-doodie ladies have to put up with from us! Maybe not you (or me) in particular, but now you're starting to feel where we're coming from. Check out this dupe's direct message. Does he REALLY think that his note is going to light a spark inside of this lady and she's going to palpably reply, "Hi! Oh yes, I would love to talk politics or allow you to eat my ****y. Perhaps both at the same time!"

The day a woman reacts to a message in a such a manner, will be the day that the 1st seal is broken and the first of the 4 living creatures introduces a white horse whose crowned rider, equipped with a bow, goes out to conquer (yes, the beginning of Revelation basically!). Meaning-it ain't gonna happen. Hopefully, this woman promptly hit the Block button on this dimwit.

13 "May I Have Your PayPal Email, Please?"

Uh huh, if you are not baffled (and, slightly mortified) by this DM - than 9 times out of 10, it was YOU that sent the message! Either that, or you don't stun easily. Regardless of which, we, are for damn sure befuddled by the above content. Why are we, you ask? Hmm well, where do we begin?!

Guess the main thing that jumps out at us is why this guy is asking for the email to this girl's PayPal account; like, what does he want it for? He not only wants her email addy, he's offering to PAY her for it too! It started off at $50, and the offer worked it's way all the way up to $300. $300, for an email address though?! Sounds very fishy to us. This girl obviously felt the same way, for she never even answered this schnook!

12 You Do Me & I Do You

We wonder, if males receive messages in their DM's sometimes like this… haha, they'd wish! On the flip side, positive we are that the woman who obtained this message in her inbox did NOT wish for it; not for one darn second.

Gotta give it to him though-this guy has cajones the size of Nebraska sending a message like this. Really, who offers a complete stranger $500 for a 69? C'mon, he doesn't even know (nor cares, plainly!) if the female he's asking to perform these acts is a basket case, or disease-ridden or anything. All he's thinking about is him getting some action. Well, realistically, he could get a lot more bang for his buck(s) if he just procures a trollop instead; the way he's at it, he might as well.

11 "Dream Hotel… Let's Go!"

Samantha is playing 0 games with this guy, lol. You know, we have to start with the "Dream hotel" line. What it sounds like to us like is that Dream is the name of the establishment and that the pair have frequented before. Samantha, however, appears to have turned over a new leaf; the guy though, is not trying to hear all of that malarkey!

Samantha's church effort gets blasted by message sender; with him basically saying, Samantha might set on fire if she were to step inside of a church. Aside from calling her a risqué girl, he too suggests that he'd like to be deeply embedded in any one of her orifices. When she shames him, he follows up with calling her out of her name. Talk about making his gender look bad… sheesh.

10 Won't You Guide My "Sleigh" Tonight?

We say, if you're going to solicit a woman for some hanky-panky - at least be grammatically correct! Haha, it's blatantly obvious that English is not this gentleman's first language; either that, or English was undoubtedly his worst subject in school. Either way, his approach is downright unwelcoming and distasteful.

Even around Xmas time, [for women] there's no escaping the pervs. In fact, more pervs probably come out during the holiday season! "Hey uh, would you unwrap my 'gift' for me?", "Girl, I'd sure like to c*m down your chimney… ", "Wanna be Santa's Little Helper? ?" - you know, a barrage of messages like that. The best part of the inbox exchange, of course, is the woman's response. LOL! Classic.

9 "You Wanna Make Out?"

We have two words to describe this Direct Message: SUMMERRRRRRRRRR CASH!! Ctfu-if anyone has any idea what that implies, please, write us and let us know.

Now, onto this character. This guy, is the prime example of 'can't take no for an answer'. In this instance, the woman didn't actually say no; but, she shunned him to the point where she might as well had said "no." Her silence speaks volumes (well, at least to us it does!), but for some odd reason the guy messaging just doesn't hear her. Maybe he feels he hasn't harassed her enough, and that with just a little more persistence his harassment will emphatically pay off. Most likely it won't but, to each his own!

8 The Worst Pick-Up Line EVER (Almost)!

Lawdy, lawd, smh. This guy has about as much game as a checker board with no pieces! C'mon, ANYTHING would have been better than: "u got nice lips I know wat they can go around." For real, "Girl, you look so good I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!" or ""I noticed you noticing me. So I just wanna put you on notice that I noticed you, too," would of been MUCH better than the opening line this guy chose to run with.

Okay, yes, those are the Fresh Prince's pick-up lines but still… they'd of been better! Speaking of which, perhaps Alex Hitchens (from Hitch) could of helped this poor soul out; it appears, he can use all of the assistance he can get.

7 A Poet, And Didn't Even Know It

Who is this dude here, Raphael de la Ghetto? "Cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them; Cannon in front of them, Volley'd and thunder'd!" Omg, bwahaha!

Indeed, Geoffrey (Joseph Marcell) was bugging for that. However, Geoffrey's poetry has nothing on the above verse! "A simple hi just wouldn't be enough, because "your a diamond in da ruff" - "in da ruff", though! This male, elected to court this young lady by 'spitting' some lyrics (or, reciting 'urban poetry', as it's sometimes called). He's no Jay Z, but he's surely getting his 4:44 on. Well, more like getting his 9:11 on… because that's the # they need to call (911) on this guy for DM'ing this woman these wack @ss bars!

6 "Wanna Chill Cuddle?"

This is bad on so many levels that it is hard to determine where to begin as far as ridiculing. Well, let's start with the only DM sent in return by the female: "Yeah". Typically, the phrase, "Yeah" is a good thing. In this case however, "Yeah" is more like "He*l to the no"! He'd like to 'smoke in her crib' (we're pretty certain he's not referring to tobacco… ) but in actuality, this lady don't want nothing to do with this chowderhead.

If that's not bad enough, he then follows up with: "Wanna chill cuddle n I'll give u a massage while we watch movies?" Just sounds super creepy, don't it?! Judging by the way the convo's going down in the DM, we're quite sure she did not concur to the chill/cuddle/massage/movie proposal. That's because, she knows a "Netflix & chill" offer when she hears one… She ain't stupid!

5 "I'm Ready To Be A Slave"

Yikes, ladies, so THIS is the type of crapola you [all] have to deal with on a daily basis? If all women were to ban together and boycott social media sites (e.g. Facebook, Twitter, IG, Snapchat) until men overall got their acts together, we wouldn't be mad at that at all; not one damn bit. Look above at this ignoramus… is he like really serious!?

We're afraid so. Listen to this dork: "… put myself in a chastity for you princess", "I'm ready to be a slave xx", "S*t on my face and suffocate me with your beauty x" - JUST STOP! Who told him, that these type of lines would work? Who trained him in etiquette, Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe? Get it together bro, please, for the sake of all males-get it together [quick fast].

4 "Want To Dance Under The Moonlight?"

Oh, this is priceless. "Want to make out at least once a day for the rest of our lives until one of us dies?"… is he for real? BWAHAHAHA!! Aww man, that one brought tears to our eyes from laughing so hard. If we're talking about the weirdest requests that have slid into women's DM's than yes, this one definitely has the potential to take home 1st prize.

Kudos to the lady interacting with this male because we feel she's being way to nice. Don't think so? Okay then… "Want to dance under the moonlight?" Exactly-this fool is gone! Rotf. Wild thing is, we're convinced that this isn't the only female this guy is talking to like this. He's probably one of those males that pesters you, you report him, then block him and next thing you know he creates a new profile and slides in your DM once again! Mm hmm, yup, that's him alright.

3 "… Before I Go For My Plastic Friend?"

Alright, perhaps you can help us out on this one. What exactly is this fella's "plastic friend"? Oh wait, it just hit us… he's not referring to a blow-up doll, is he!? O-M-G, haha! This dude is off his rocker. Tell us, if he was planning on doing that, why did he feel the need to inform the woman? Bruh, what you do with toys behind closed doors is your business and ONLY your business! Sick.

Then, what's this deal of him being h*rny [without drinking! lol] after losing his job and now he needs her to help him relieve stress. Maybe it's us, but wouldn't gettin' freaky be like the absolute LAST thing on your mind if you just got canned from your gig? Apparently, we stand corrected! Hats off to the girl though for curving this clodpole.

2 No Sugar Coating It

This guy, opened the flood gates off the rip! Look at him, "send me a picture of your boo*s" - sheesh bro, let it breathe for a second at least and THEN request to see her mammaries. But noooo, not this gentleman. He then turns right back around and asks again to view her lady bits. Somebody ought'a tell him…

We don't even have a comment for the, "want to ea* you like wonton" line. ROTF! All we know is, this guy is the reason that decent men get the short end of the stick when it comes to the ladies. A lot of women deal with dim bulbs (like the one above), so much and so often that DM's from actual nice guys get ignored or/and archived; they don't even get a fair shot due to goofs like the one in mention. Wait, then he caps it with: "… hit me up when you what some di**". Dude, it's "WANT some di**"! That's it, stick a fork in this guy because we're all the way done with him.

1 "I'm Really Looking For Only One Thing"

Not that we agree with his approach, though, at least we can say that this guy kept it all the way ?! Perhaps he should of kept it 95 or 89 or something instead of 100, because man did he come in the ring with his gloves off already!

"Hey, I'm really looking for only one thing right now" - eh, talking about cutting through all the red tape. My man ain't wit the games nor the stall tactics; he wants to know simply, if you're in or out with him going 'in and out'! He's in town for a couple weeks, that's it… therefore, "just pure, hardcore sh**" - that's all he's interested in. Period! Alright, got it? Good.

As for him 'relieving himself' on several of the woman's profile pics, well, that's beyond a weird request… that is PSYCHOalphadiscobetabioaquadooloop! Haha, Parliament couldn't of worded it any better.