How Messy Will Your Breakup Be? Based On Astrology
Breakups suck. In any way shape or form. They are never easy, especially if you have no idea what you're about to get into. If only we knew what each zodiac sign was thinking, it might shed some light onto a dark situation. We struggle with how to bring it up, and never knowing when the timing is right. Every sign has a different way of communicating when they are hurt and if we can understand how these twelve zodiac signs react to pain, we can give ourselves a head start. You mean studying for the final exam actually works? Yes. We never want to break up with someone, but we do want the other person to know how we're feeling. Some yell, some accept, some lie, some flee, some deny, and some are just planning to ruin your entire existence. No big deal right? The plot is easy to grasp once you've read the same novel by the same author fifty times. If you can predict the sequel, and are okay with some spoilers, you may just see that twist ending coming, or you may even deal with a couple of those awful cliffhangers. Not every novel can have its fairy tale ending.
15 Tit For Tat? Looking At You Aquarius
If most of your arguments involved a "tit for tat" scenario, expect your Aquarius significant other to remind you of that time you smiled at the mail man three years ago. How about that time you spent too long on the phone with the Rogers customer service representative? Yes, they remember that time. If you are not afraid of a rebuttal, and some manipulation of this mindful sign, then it is safe to say your past will be brought up in this breakup, so expect to relive those moments you hoped to forget. All you need is some ammo for yourself, because it's going to be a shots for shots until one of you lose, and I hate to break it to you, the Aquarius never loses.
14 A Lot Of Soap For Your Mouth, Libra
Do you fight constantly with your Libra lover, and it always results in what they call swearing like a "truck driver"? Would your entire SNL monologue be beeped out? Then expect a war of words. Expect this sign to use words starting with cs and fs, and all of the above. Whatever you do, don't take them too personally. That's just how Libras communicate in the heat of the moment, and it might just be the only way to end things. A battle royal. If you can't take the heat, and give back some of your words of your own, you may just have to walk away. It will be the only way to get their attention and for them to see past their tunnel vision. Bring a flashlight!
13 No, Please, I'm Sorry, Apologies Of A Sagittarius
How about a breakup purely the Canadian way? One is always more sorry than the other? If you plan on breaking up with a Sagittarius, expect a lot of apologizing. This will be a pretty decent breakup, with a whole lot of guilt, crying, and self-analysis. No one likes to admit they're wrong, but this sign has no problem in doing so, making you feel worse in the end, as they take all the blame, just to end the fight. They will pull out words of wisdom, and say things like "if we're meant to be, we will find each other." Oh yes, these hopeless romantics, will accept the breakup, and will forgive you before you say you're sorry. Expect a lot of self-reflection.
12 The Silent Treatment, Pisces Are You There?
Pisces and their ego make it hard to accept a breakup. The only way to deem themselves worthy, is if they have the last word, leaving you in the dust. One of the most confident signs of the horoscopes, will remain confident until the very end. They will not let you see them break, so if you are hoping they are as hurt as you are, don't expect a scene out of The Notebook. Trust me, they are hurting, but you will never hear it from them, but maybe only their best friend. As a result, expect silence from this sign for a few days and if you are looking for closure, that day may never come. A "maybe we should talk in a few days," might just result in all your belongings being left on the front lawn, with no foot tracks in sight. So to answer the question, "Pisces, are you there?" The answer is, no.
11 Rage Against The Machine, Leo's Favorite Band
Expect their inner lion to come out during a breakup with this sign. Leos are actually the most insecure sign at heart and they do not like to feel like little cubs. I may have to go into the witness protection for letting that secret out, but #sorrynotsorry. Expect a lot of yelling and more insults than you can imagine. Unlike Libra's swearing, expect more personal jabs, like that one time you forgot to invite them to lunch with your mom. Apparently, that makes you the worst person in the world. I promise you, it's just a defence mechanism. They are just too sensitive for their own good, so unless they see you hurting, don't expect the fight to be over. If you can get through the initial rage, this sign normally ends up curling up next to mama lion afterwards.
10 Texting, You Know Who You Are, Gemini
Gemini, one of the friendliest and most lovable signs of all the horoscopes. A sign that thinks way too much, and is constantly wondering what people think about them, and their every move. Expect the same attitude during the breakup. A sign scared of what others may think, can't seem to face their fears. What's the number one thing to hide behind in 2017? Your cellphone, and now with the iPhone plus, I mean literally hide behind. This sign means well, but with their lack of self-esteem, we can't blame them for using a crutch to get by. They can't stand people hating them, and if you want this breakup to be smooth, let them have their way. Don't force a Gemini to do something they are uncomfortable with, it will just end in a high anxiety conversation, and no one wants that.
9 Gone Like The Wind, A Tale of Sagittarius Ghosting
Sagittarius, the freedom lovers of the world. They love freedom and leading that hippie lifestyle so much, so don't get too angry when they pull a runaway bride on you, with no warning signs. They mean well, they just hate hurting people's feelings. Call them immature but this sign would rather flee the country then tell you they are just not that into you. Avoid any signs of clinginess with a Sagittarius or you may never see them again. It may make for an easy break up, but closure with this sign is almost impossible. Just know that they are living it up in another city, and most likely hanging with their friends. Sorry you weren't invited.
8 Friends With Benefits Never Hurt An Aquarius
Aquarians, cold as water. Not many signs can do friends with benefits after a breakup, but expect this mindful sign to want nothing more than the companionship and someone worthy of listening to their neurotic thoughts. Once they have marked you as a friend and no longer a lover, there is no going back though. So in this situation, expect a take it or leave it answer. Aquarians don't give many second chances, so if they want you in their life after a breakup you must be extremely important, or they are not done using you to their advantage. The truth hurts. This sign knows exactly what they are doing, so don't ever think you are in any way in control. Forecast, for today, glaciers are about to hit.
7 Breakup Fun For The Win, Scorpio Never Loses
Scorpio, known for their wrath in and outside of the bedroom. Scorpio is always game for one last throw down, but don't expect it to be more than it is. They love to use their scorpion ways to sting you one last time, so you will never forget what you're missing out on. So why not do what they do best? Before you even have a chance to say no, this sign will have you wrapped up in their sheets. They'll leave you wanting more, but the next thing you'll see is the door. It is all part of the game. If you think you can handle a "one last time" I'd say no problem. If not, you better lower your standards. They always get what they want. It's a win, win for this sign.
6 I'm Just Not Down Anymore, Aries Problems
Aries tend to date a lot of their closest friends, as they get attached to the adventure, common interests, and purely the enjoyment of the company. Aries need spontaneity in their life though, or they feel completely useless. So when that adventure is gone and it becomes a mundane routine, expect this sign to lose interest quickly. By the time you are having your breakup, this sign will have physically checked out. Don't expect a brutal breakup, they love honesty and will respect you more for it. The best part is a friendship may still be in the works if there wasn't any bad blood to begin with. They'll do anything for their friends, so they won't forget you once were one of them.
5 It's Not Me, It's You, From One Cancer To Another
Cancer, a sign you'd be scared to breakup with in the first place. They like to hold the reins in the relationship, so expect the same in the breakup. As this sign is highly emotional, expect mood swings like you've never seen before. I really mean, never seen before. Anger is a primary emotion for the Cancer's of this world, so if you can get a few words in, it better be either "you're right," or "you're right." Oh and a warning sign to all the soon to be ex's, if you plan on being friend's with any of the Cancer's best friends after the breakup, you better think twice. Cancer's are very protective of their friends, and will be writing out the contract as soon as the deed is done. Lawyer up!
4 Vindictive, Vicious, And Just Plain Leo
The breakup never just ends with goodbyes for this sign. Expect some backlash and be very aware. If you made this sign's ego smaller than small, it will become their life's mission to make you feel the same. Manipulation, revenge, and humiliation are only a small dose of what you're in for. That's not even the worst part. Don't expect to be let off the hook until they are fully satisfied with their last supper. A nice triple A steak on the menu. Don't forget that the entire world will be aware that you hurt a Leo, and they really, I repeat, really don't like to be embarrassed. All I can say is, don't date a Leo if you are not ready for a full-time career in "how to deal with sociopaths."
3 The Longest Breakup In Taurus History
Every Taurus reading this right now, is wondering how much time is being wasted, while they can be out there making money. This money driven sign I promise you is calculating every thing you are saying, including all your materials you shared along the way. Taurus hates change, sorry I meant despises change. If you throw them a curve ball, don't expect them to know how to react. Their life has been flipped upside down, and now they need a new calendar. Great. They may need a couple of days to figure out how to organize their life, in perfectly aligned columns and rows, and once they can manage that, they'll be glad they don't need to buy you that new back massager you saw in that infomercial, that one time.
2 We're Done, Quick And Easy, Virgo Style
This sign screams, chivalry is not dead! A true sign of the gentlemen. If you are planning a breakup with this sign, I guarantee it will be a nice and clean breakup. They might spit a few bad words, because they are still a very confident zodiac, but will always brush it off with class afterwards. They'll beg for you to see how good they can be for you by the way they sweep you off your feet with flowers and how much they can impress your parents. If they realize they can't make you happy anymore by doing all these chivalrous acts, they will finally accept it. Oh and don't worry they won't mention a bad word about you after it is all done. If they respect you, they always will. Expect a drive home afterwards, because that's just who they are.
1 Can You Pass The Indecisiveness, Capricorn?
Oh Capricorn, you never really could make a decision. This sign never knowing if what they are doing is right, causes them much indecisiveness. Even if they wanted to beg for you back, they are still contemplating in their minds what's the best choice of words. At that point, you're long gone, but know they are probably still thinking to this day if they said it, would it have changed anything? This sign hates to be wrong, and by doing so, watches opportunities go by. This sign will accept the breakup with stride, but don't expect them to tell you they are sorry. Until they have had time to narrow down the pros and cons, which will take them years. A sorry is the last thing on their mind.
