Here's Exactly Why He's A Jerk, Based On Astrology
We have all had stories of horror, sadness, and hilarity when it comes to the D-bags that we have dated in the past. These are popular topics of conversation with our girlfriends over wine and Netflix binges on Friday nights when we are too lazy to go out. As that Pinot Noir runs through our veins, we reminisce and complain about how guys can just be overall jerks. Our ex-boyfriends are typically the first target we hold in disdain, but there are also jerks in our lives that we can't seem to get rid of. Such examples include that annoying co-worker who has a crush on you, the boss with unrealistic deadlines, our spoiled little brothers or that friend of your boyfriend that you just can't stand.
Interestingly enough, there are different types of D-bags based on their astrological signs. Bear in mind that no one is perfect, and each sign will demonstrate these darker qualities along with their redeeming ones. Each douchey quality is usually denoted by their element depending on whether they fall into the earth, air, fire or water category. These qualities are also denoted by which quadruplicity (group of four) they belong to. These groups include cardinal, fixed and mutable signs.
Read on to learn why your guy (or just any guy that you know) can be an utter D-bag based on his sign.
19 Earth Signs - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Guys born under the element of the earth are sensual and find pleasure in the physical aspects of life. This means that they will be the first to notice a hot girl walking into a room even if their girlfriend is sitting right beside them. They just simply can't help themselves. Their fives senses are the most heightened out of all the elements of the entire zodiac. This means that there is no sight, sound, taste, smell or touch that will go unnoticed for them. If you cook for them and you are not the best at cooking, they might be the first to tell you that your cooking just doesn't stack up compared to their mom's (or worse, ex-girlfriend's) cooking that they had in the past. These dudes can be materialistic and greedy when it comes to their money. They might be frugal or even cheap when it comes to taking you out on dates. These guys are the most prone to focus on their own immediate objectives without concern about how it affects other people.
18 Air Signs - Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
Guys who have the air element as their zodiac sign are logical thinkers and excellent communicators. This also makes them very manipulative when it comes to their words and their persuasion. They might say one thing and mean something else entirely. Air signs are aloof and detached and typically have a hard time connecting with people on an emotional level. They might say or do things that are totally offensive or inappropriate and think nothing of it. If you think of air, it has the ability to travel and blend in with element around it. These guys can blend into any social environment and make friends instantaneously. This means that they can charm other women into bed and are most prone to cheating. Unlike earth signs who see and set physical barriers, air signs seem to have their "head in the clouds" and might be a bit out of touch with reality. These dude's ideas will have them delusional to the point where you might be thinking, "is this guy for real?"
17 Fire Signs - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Ahh, fire sign men. These guys will ooze of overt masculinity and will sweep you off their feet with their powerful presence. These guys are passionate, outspoken and tend to be more extroverted than not. These guys will think with their instincts rather than their intellect and that will lead them to often times make quick, rash decisions that they often later end up regretting. If you get with a fire sign, forget about having a laid-back, chill romance. Nope. These guys are action-packed and full of vigor and energy. If you cannot keep up with them, they will get bored with you very quickly. Their periods of high energy will keep them on a high and make them seem arrogant and full of themselves. Once their energy fades, it will seem like they have burned themselves out and need their space to re-energize. These guys are fast-moving, fast-talking and lack the patience for people who don't operate on the same speed as they do.
16 Water Signs - Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
When you are involved with a guy born under the element of water, get ready for the floodgates to open. These guys are ruled by their emotions and have an uncanny ability to read the human psyche like the back of their hand. At times, it will feel like they are reading your mind and know how you are going to react to a given circumstance or situation before it even happens. They have a powerful intuition and they often use that as a tool for emotional manipulation. Water sign men tend to be the creative, artistic types that will want you over for Netflix and chill sessions as opposed to going out and socializing. If they are really into you, they can become possessive and border on the verge of controlling. Water signs feel things deeper than the average bear and are most prone to brooding, sulking or mood swings when things don't go their way.
15 Cardinal Signs - Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn
Cardinal signs are the leaders of the zodiac and are usually the ones to initiate. Guys born under these signs signal the start of a season. Aries kicks off spring, Cancer begins summer, Libra starts fall and Capricorn brings in the winter. Therefore, they are considered the "idea" people of the zodiac. Men born under these signs take serious pride in everything that they do and want to believe that they are the originals and that no one else has thought of it before them. They prefer to lead the way and can have a hard time allowing someone else to take the lead, even when they are in situations where they have no idea what they are doing. They are the ones that like to get the party started and command a room when they walk in. You might feel as if you are unable to get a word in with these dudes since they want you to be the one listening to them. Cardinal signs are accustomed to being the ones in charge and have a hard time letting go of power.
14 Fixed Signs - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius
Fixed signs fall in the middle of every season. They are the ones that maintain and stabilize what the cardinal signs have already established at the beginning of the season. Though fixed signs are the most dependable, they are just as stubborn. Good luck getting any of these guys to do something that they do not want to do or to get them to step outside their comfort zone. The chances of you getting them to change their mind on anything are slim to none. They take the enthusiastic that the cardinal signs set and make the dream a reality. Because of this, these guys are set in their ways and have a specific agenda in mind. Do not get in the way of a fixed sign because they are unyielding to anyone that tries to thwart their efforts. Since these guys often feel the burden to maintain the status quo, they are the least adaptable to change. They might give others a difficult time for when change needs to inevitably happen whether they like it or not.
13 Mutable Signs - Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Mutable signs are born at the time a season is coming to an end. Unlike fixed signs, these dudes are used to constant change and are the most adaptable to disrupts in the schedule. Though this is a positive attribute of a mutable sign, this also means that they have a hard time staying in one place or staying in just one relationship. Sorry to say it, but these guys could be more prone to cheating or infidelity than the cardinal or fixed signs. They are more flexible and have the ability to adjust to any personality type. They can be a social chameleon and makes themselves fit into a variety of circumstances. If you are dating a mutable sign man, you might feel as if you are on a constant roller coaster ride that doesn't stop with the twists and turns. If you are looking for stability, you are least likely to find it with a guy born under a mutable sign. On the flip side, they are the most open-minded and accepting when the best laid plans go awry.
12 Aries - The Insensitive Bro
Aries men will turn you on instantly with their overt masculine energy and athletic prowess. It will be sexy AF at the beginning when you see how they use their sexuality in physical manner. He will be upbeat and will make you feel like a woman. Bear in mind, that his emotions do not run very deep as they operate on pure instinct and only cater to his basic, primordial needs. These needs don't usually extend any further than food or sex. Good luck establishing a deep connection with this dude because he doesn't really like to think on a deep level. This makes him insensitive to other's needs and make him self-centered unintentionally.
His competitive nature will push him to one-up people in conversations. Do you have a cool story to tell? Well, he has one that is even cooler. Do you bench 200? He can bench 250 with one arm tied behind his back. He can be confrontational as Aries is the god of war symbolized in Greek mythology. Though he will never admit it, he loves a good fight or argument where the odds are in his favor that he will win. They can be impatient and if things don't happen for them right away, they will either give up and walk away or do something to sabotage the situation.
11 Taurus - The Lazy SOB
Unlike the Aries sign before him who likes things to happen fast, the Taurus man is a steady-paced dude who moves at a slower pace than most. This makes them patient, but lazy. Since they are not only a fixed sign, but an earth sign as well, they are by far the most stubborn out of the entire zodiac (and out of all the fixed signs, so that is saying a lot). Lazy and stubborn is their MO when it comes to being labeled a douche. You can really tell whether or not a Taurus man is into you because he might break his lazy streak if he is. If he isn't, then you will be the one that always has to come to him, not the other way around.
If you are the type who likes to go out all the time and have an active social life, then this guy will drag you down. At the beginning of the relationship, he might be the perfect gentlemen but then revert to his old ways once he gets too comfortable. Comfort is the most important to him and anyone who dares taking him out of that comfort zone will ignored. He is passive aggressive so he won't confront you about anything, but he will hold back on the affection if you have pissed him off without even knowing. If you live together, he will expect you to do the cooking and cleaning for him and not lift a finger to help with the chores.
10 Gemini - The Smooth Talking Schmoozer
A Gemini dude is more likely than not someone that you met at a party or some event where there was a bigger crowd (or at the very least a smaller group). He thrives off of social settings and doesn't feel complete if there is no communication between him and at least one other person. When you talk to him, it will seem like he has ADD because he can't stay on one subject for too long. Gemini men won't directly end things with you once they get bored, but they will keep you on the sidelines while they chase tail elsewhere. If things don't work out with other prospects, they will start hitting you up again out of nowhere. They get bored very easily and if you are not giving them the stimulation that they are looking for, then you are out.
Gemini is the sign of the twins and like the stereotype would imply, they can be two-faced. This is because they are secretly struggling with an identity crisis questioning if they should be who they want to be or what other people want them to be. Out of all the signs, Geminis suffer the most from FOMO. If you are dating one of them, they would much rather find a party than spend alone time with you. These are men of many faces, and they know how to adapt to any personality at any time in any situation. This will often make you question their sincerity and if what they are telling you is the truth. Oh yeah, and they are compulsive liars.
9 Cancer - The Whiny Crybaby
Cancer men understand women like no other man does. Since he is ruled by the moon, this gives him a streak of feminine energy that empowers him to cater to your emotional needs. He will come off as a wholesome, boy next door who is a complete catch and you can take home to your parents. A wave of relief will wash over you because you feel that you have finally found the one. He is attentive and he actually listens. This is because Cancer men grow up as mama's boys and are used to being raised by women. When you first start dating, he will want all your time and it will be flattering. After the honeymoon phase, it will get old if you want your own space.
If you are someone who likes to do their own thing in relationships, then stay away from Cancer men. Once they have their crabby claws latched into you, they will have a hard time letting go. Be ready for some serious guilt trips and a push and pull of his affections. If he doesn't have you feeling like you did something terribly wrong (even though you didn't), then his mama bear will come in and finish you off. He will shower you with affection, but just remember that his mom will always get priority over you. As a cardinal water sign, he is emotional and used to getting his way. This means that he will pout if you say no to him. His hypersensitivity will need to be tolerated or he will wear you down.
8 Leo - The Cocky Showoff
Leos love being the center of attention and the ability to turn everyone's heads when they enter a room. They have an infectious smile and will flatter you with praise. Their optimism makes it hard for people to not like them. Just remember that whenever he makes you feel special, you better reciprocate it ten times over otherwise he will seek out someone who will. Leo men need to feel admired and adored by the masses and they make for insufferable narcissists when they are not getting the attention that they need. These are the types of guys that have many fake acquaintances blowing smoke up their ass rather than having close friends that they can actually count on. They tend to treat their relationships as a means to feel better about themselves and their fragile egos.
If you are dating a Leo man, he will be the type to string you along into believing that things might get serious even if he has no intention of being monogamous with you. If you and hime have not had "the talk" and are not official, he might even talk about his other Tinder prospects to your face. Or worse, he will ask you advice on how to pick up chicks. Making you jealous will be his MO because it is his test to see how much you like him… which again inflates his ego. Before you know it, he will even start taking about his hotter ex-girlfriends or flirting with other girls right in front of your face. If you do the same back to him, he will not be having it. He can dish it but he can't take it.
7 Virgo - The Nagging Know It All
Virgo men look at everything objectively and see all the little details in everyday life. They are not visionaries as they are the mutable earth sign. Since they know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, they usually don't have much confidence in their relationships. The only exception to this is if you meet their impossibly high standards of what they are looking for in their partner. They have a long list that makes for a tall order. Even if you are completely out of their league on many different levels (looks, education, income threshold, etc.)… he will still find every little flaw about you and have no qualms about pointing them out to you.
Virgo men often come off as abrasive because they are nit-picky and have a hard time appreciating other people's individuality. If they are the outspoken type (which not all of them are), then you need to be careful of who you bring them around. They have a tendency to make offensive comments with their critical eye and rub people the wrong way. Of course, they won't think it is on them, but their fault for not having the willingness to hear the truth, even if its harsh. These guys can get high strung because they are very particular about everything in their life - from their life ambitions to the way they organize their closets. Don't think for a second that you will be any exception because they are the pickiest when it comes to who they date.
6 Libra - The Superficial Flake
Libra men are the charmers of the zodiac and know how to talk their way into a woman's pants. They have mellow, melodic voices and inviting gleams in their eye that make them approachable. They love to flirt and the love the game of courting women for the sport of it. He will bait you because he will seem warm and easy to get along with at first. He will lead you on into thinking that he is falling for you until he gives you the dreaded, "I'm just not looking for a relationship." Before you know it, the calls will go unreturned and your texts unanswered. You realize that he only was in it for the bedroom time and nothing more.
If you do find yourself in a serious relationship with him, he will still want the benefit and freedom of being single while having that safe haven of a relationship to go back home to. In their perfect world, they will hang out with their bros day in and day out, bang the hot girl on the side, and then have that nice beautiful housewife to go back home to. Once they come home to you, they will be closeted emotional needy douchebags. Libra men know how to win an argument because they represent the scales and being able to see both sides. They will know how to justify their blatant misdeeds and make you seem like the bad guy. Libra men will want everyone else to play fair, but then change around the rules so that they win every time. Talk about having the best of both worlds.
5 Scorpio - The Never Ending Head Games
You will recognize a seductive Scorpio man by those piercing eyes and soul penetrating stare. Scorpio men don't really say much, and they don't have to because they just let their body language do all the talking. When they do talk to you, they would rather ask you questions and get you talking about yourself rather than you asking them questions to get to know them. This is their trick to get you to reveal personal information which they will use later as ammunition should you do anything to piss them off. If there is anyone who knows how to toy with your emotions and pray on your weaknesses, it is a Scorpio. This dude will know how to get inside your head and control your behavior like a sociopath.
A Scorpio guy is a man of extremes. The good times will make you feel like you are Cloud Nine. You will be in a blissful paradise and it will put you on a high that you never want to come down from. It will be like a dream and someone has yet to pinch you to awake. The bad times will be unbearable and it will feel that you are inhabiting a living nightmare. There is not a whole lot in between because these guys will drag you to the ends of the earth. If you decide to travel to hell and back with a Scorpio, good luck coming back unscathed or traumatized for life.
4 Sagittarius - The Freedom Fighter
Sagittarian men will feel like a breath of fresh air because they will take you on trips and show you places that you have never seen before. They will introduce you to new experiences and make you want to travel with them on their journeys. The sign of Sagittarius is symbolized by a half horse, half man. This means that he has the spirit of a wild animal that roams the earth far and wide. He likes to taste different foods, be in different scenery and most of all… have flings with different women. There is nothing getting in the way of a Sagittarius man and his freedom. He is a freedom fighter and there is just no way any woman can get him to commit. These guys are by far the most difficult to pin down and can stay bachelors well into their forties.
Because of their need to roam, they tend to be the most promiscuous. As a mutable fire sign, they like to have places to go and people to see. Their charm lies in their high energy and zest to live life to the absolute fullest. They have a great sense of humor and enjoy making you laugh, even if only for one night. The next thing you know, they will take their horse legs and trot out the door faster than a speeding bullet. If you are one of lucky ladies who has been able to get him to commit, don't expect him to buy you a ring or pop the question anytime soon. They will find any excuse to delay any commitment.
3 Capricorn - The Uptight Boss
Capricorn men are those who like to build empires from the ground up. They work hard and have zero time for anything else in their lives because they are so career-focused. These guys will eliminate any obstacle standing in their way because they don't want to deal with any drama. They can be cold because they are the no-muss, no-fuss types that don't keep anyone around who doesn't fit into their life plan. Even if they do have feelings for you, they will have no problem putting you on the back burner unless the timing in their life is perfect to have a relationship. Their reasons for being in relationships are those of convenience and conventionality. They tend to pick partners who come from affluent, wealthy families because they see this as a stepping stone to achieving their goals.
Capricorn men can be straight up cold-hearted and have a calculating nature about them. This often gives them control or the upper hand in the relationship. As a Cardinal earth sign, they know how to have a handle on their physical environments both at home and outside the home. They can be greedy in terms of money and social status and will seem like they are scheming their next move to progress just one step further. Nothing is more important to them than image and reputation, and they will do anything to protect it. Even if that means it comes at your expense.
2 Aquarius - The Condescending Prick
Aquarian men are the rebels of the zodiac and their natural instinct is to go against the grain. As a fixed air sign, they are friendly and social but are picky about who they consider to be their "friends." Hipsters are often born under this sign because they strive to be original but little do they know that they are just like everyone else who goes along with the trend. The believe their logic and thought patterns to be superior to everyone else's. This makes them opinionated and mistakenly believing that their opinions are scientific facts. Getting into a debate with an Aquarian will be something that you regret because they have no problem tearing you a new one in front of a group of people.
These guys are the masters of friendships and impersonal relationships. They have a god complex and will treat you like a lesser individual if you are dating them. They believe that everyone should be treated as an equal, except for them because they are special. They know how to utilize social leverage in order to get their groups of minions to bend to their will. They also have a sense of entitlement and have no problem befriending their exes even if they are in a serious relationship. They will not see how that could possibly bother you if you call them out on their BS. Leave them where you originally found them: in the friend zone.
1 Pisces - The Flakey Escapist
It's hard not to like a Pisces guy because he is goofy and easy to get along with. He is a mutable water sign so that means that he will read your emotions and adapt to them accordingly. You and him will have deep conversations about the universe and all of its wonder. It will feel like it is just you and him in this dreamland that passes into a spiritual realm. He has no problem going with the flow and doing whatever it is you want to do without any complaint. At first, this will be a fun fling but then you will realize his fatal flaw: he refuses to take personal responsibility for anything. Pisces men have a tendency to self-sabotage and are most likely to have addictive personalities. When it comes to fight for flight, they will choose flight every time.
Rather than dealing with their problems head on, they expect other people to come in and fix it for them. They are not self-starters and if they don't get that push, then they simply won't do anything. Their reliance on others to take the initiative will be draining for you. If you are someone who always needs to make the decisions, then look no further than a Pisces. These guys like to play the victim card and are masters and martyrdom. No matter how much he is in the wrong, it will always seem like it is your fault.