21 Things You Do In The First Month Of Dating He Won't Ever Forget
First impressions count for a lot in the world of dating. This is the time when you're first getting to know each other, and find out whether you're really compatible, or whether you were totally in over your heads about each other. No pressure, but how things go in the first month of dating can either make or break your relationship.
Some people are just drawn together by a natural spark, and that's something that can't be forced. But still, there are certain things you might have done in the first few weeks of dating that will have ensured that the person you're seeing won't forget you, even if you don't end up living happily ever after. Regardless of whether you're soulmates or not, it's still nice to be remembered!
Making a killer impression is both simple and tricky-the things you have to do are easy and based on common sense, but you have to be genuine about them. Your effort has to come from an authentic place of really wanting things to work with this person. In other words, you can't fake it to get them to fall in love with you, intending to revert back to your old ways once they're hooked. Most people see straight through that. And of course, sometimes the cheeky things you do that you think will slip under the radar will make him remember you… but in a not-so-positive way.
Check out this list of things you might have done to launch your relationship in the right or wrong direction. And don't panic if you didn't get it all right-you're only human!
21 If You Were Trying Too Hard To Impress Him
Trying too hard at anything tends to stand out. It always portrays you in a negative light because it makes you look like you're insecure and need to resort to extreme measures to get noticed. The same is true in relationships-trying too hard to get somebody to like you can reflect negatively on you. And a guy will usually remember this kind of thing even after you're gone.
Although it might come from a good place of just genuinely wanting to be liked and accepted, making too much of an effort to be liked usually comes across in such a bad way that it's cringe-worthy, and things like that tend to be remembered. Lying about who you are to fit in with him, changing your tastes and even stopping certain hobbies you don't think are cool enough for him are all signs that you were trying too hard.
20 Your Care Factor: If You Actually Cared About Him And Showed It
Not all the people we date genuinely care about us, so when somebody makes a special effort to show that they do, it's something that's quite memorable. If you went out of your way to show him that you really cared about him and were especially accommodating to his needs, then you more than likely will be remembered and appreciated. People like that don't come along often, after all!
In the same way, if you made it super obvious that you couldn't have cared less about him if you tried, he'll probably remember you in a way that makes him shudder each time you cross his memory. People tend to remember how we make them feel, and being obviously caring will always make someone feel good, even if it doesn't end up working out.
19 If You Smelled Heavenly, Forgettable Or Worse
This would apply to most people, but particularly to those with a strong sense of smell. Sometimes a person can look like they just stepped off a runway and be funny and intelligent, but then they ruin it all by having poor hygiene. For many people, hygiene is a non-negotiable trait in a partner, and you can pretty much guarantee that a guy won't forget his one ex that smelled terrible. In the same way, he won't forget the ex that always smelled amazing, even if she drove him crazy in every other way.
Smell just seems to be something that humans remember. A good smell can make you more attracted to someone who isn't so visually appealing, while a bad one can turn you off somebody who ticks all your other boxes.
18 Whether Or Not You Trusted Him Enough To Be Real With Him
Opening up and telling your secrets to your partner will make him feel trusted. Whether that ends up being a good idea or not is another story, but people will generally be flattered when they feel like they're coming across as trustworthy, or when they've built such a strong connection with someone that they can be trusted. So if you ever let him in on a secret, or allowed him to see parts of you that you don't show anyone else (we're thinking in terms of personality, not anatomy!), he'll probably remember that for a long time.
For many people, it can take a long time to get to the stage where you're comfortable enough to either tell secrets or just be you, so doing that in the first month is pretty extraordinary. Even if things don't work out later, you'll always be the girl who wasn't afraid to get real with him.
17 If You Expected Him To Get The Bill Every Single Time
50 years ago, a guy probably wouldn't have thought twice if he dated someone who expected him to pick up the bill every time they went out. But the world is a little different in 2018, and while there are still plenty of people who believe that paying for a meal is the man's responsibility, it just isn't the status quo anymore. If you expect him to get it every time, chances are he'll remember that in a negative way.
In a world where women shouldn't be made to do traditionally “feminine” things, like have babies and make pies, men also shouldn't be made to do traditionally “masculine” things, like pick up the bill. It's fine if you both agree that you like those traditional roles within your relationship, but you shouldn't expect or demand it of the other person.
16 How Supportive You Were When Things Were Tough For Him
Perhaps the only positive aspect to tough times is that they really teach us who is there for us, and who is not. When you go through something, you'll either be overwhelmed by the love the people in your life have to give, or you'll be disappointed by how little they care. Either way, you're likely to remember it.
If something happens in the first month of dating, like he loses a family member or gets fired, he'll probably remember how you react and the extent to which you support him. You might not make a great couple in any other way, but he'll probably always remember the gesture of support and affection in a tough time, and be forever grateful that you showed it.
15 If You Cooked For Him Or Did Other Nice Things
Nice gestures that come from the heart also tend to be rare in the dating world, and don't usually show up until you get into a meaningful and comfortable relationship with someone. For that reason, such gestures that take place early on in the relationship are likely to leave an impression.
Cooking something for him, for example, is something that he'll probably remember. Not because it should be the woman's role in the relationship to cook, but because basically everyone loves food and having anybody go through the effort to make some for you is just magical, particularly if they're good at it. If you didn't cook but did some other really kind deed for him, you'll probably stay in his memory for a while.
14 If You Played Hard To Get And Canceled Dates
A guy will more than likely remember someone who was not just hard to get, but impossible and a nightmare to land just one date with. We understand not wanting to seem too available but putting a guy through endless mind games to make him chase you will probably get on his nerves, even if he is really interested in you. If the relationship blows up, the way you messed around with him, played hard to get and stood him up or blew him off will come back to bite you.
Humans tend to remember emotions, and putting someone through this can lead to some pretty strong ones. Not only would a guy be frustrated if someone constantly canceled on him and let him down, but he might also start feeling down about himself. If you did this, he could forever associate you with those negative feelings.
13 How Considerate You Were When He Needed Help
Everybody needs help from time to time, and this is another situation in which we learn who our true friends are, and who truly has our best interests at heart. How helpful you were during a time when he needed to lean on somebody will probably stay with him for a long time.
He'll probably make note of the people who help him in his life when he needs it, simply because such people are a benefit to have around and maintain ties with, even if the relationship doesn't work out. In the same way, if you offered him absolutely no help or support when he needed it, he'll remember you as being unreliable and could even have a tough time trying to trust you again in the future.
12 The Race: How Much You Rushed Him To Move The Relationship Forward
Nobody likes to be rushed to do anything they're uncomfortable with in a relationship. Whether it's pressure to commit, say certain words, or to explore your zone of intimacy, nobody should be forcing anybody to do anything they're uncomfortable with, and if you did pull that move, he'll remember it. And it won't be in a good way.
If you were constantly asking him to clarify where you stood together, when he wanted to take the next step with you, or whether he'd mentioned you to his mother, he's not likely to forget it. Especially within the first month of dating, where things should be moving along at a nice and comfortable pace! He'll forever appreciate you if you didn't rush him into anything or make him feel pressured.
11 The Effort You Made: Did You Ever Plan Dates Or Did They Fall On Him?
A man will always remember a tease. You can pretty much guarantee that if you spent the majority of the time in the first month of dating leading him on and getting him excited before putting him down, he'll forever think of you as the tease. And that's a reputation that's pretty hard to lose!
Guys remember people who tease them because of all the feelings associated with that, which make it a terrible experience for him. Not only do they end up feeling completely frustrated by the end of a month with someone like this, but they could feel embarrassed and angry about it to the point where they don't even want to see that person again. They might not see that person anymore, but they will remember them!
9 How Much You Needed Him: Whether You Ever Asked For Help
In the same way that guys like to have your help when they need it, they also like to be able to give you theirs. It can come down to an ego thing, but many guys like to feel helpful and useful in a relationship since men have traditionally been required to fulfill such expectations. He's likely to remember it if you ask him for help and seem appreciative when he gives it to you because he'll leave that situation feeling proud of himself.
He'll also remember it if you took advantage of his desire to help you and used him. But this won't be in such a good way! Even though some guys like to be helpful and useful, few people enjoy being taken advantage of or being with people who are completely dependent.
8 If You Were Too Jealous And Insecure
Jealousy and insecurity are two traits that won't soon be forgotten, mostly because they lead people to act in awful ways which can be really hurtful and damaging. So a man is likely to remember if you were obviously jealous and insecure while you were with him.
People who are jealous can get paranoid, and often stop their partners from seeing other people. They start fights over small things that seem really big to them, and can even become manipulative and controlling. An insecure person might put their partner down to make them feel better about themselves or become overbearing in their complaining about themselves. All of these behaviors will leave an impression for months after the breakup, and it won't be a good one.
7 If You Laughed At His Jokes Or Left Him Hanging
Studies have shown that men are especially attracted to people who laugh at their jokes and find them funny. Laughing at your date's jokes will make him feel better about himself, and if he knows that his joke wasn't funny but you laughed at it anyway, he'll think you're a kind person. There's really no downside to giving a pity laugh to a date unless of course, the joke was problematic or hurtful. So he'll probably remember you in a really positive light if you were the girl who always laughed at his jokes, whether they were funny or not.
Similarly, you can bet he'll remember the girl who never laughed at his jokes and always left him hanging. You're not obliged to laugh at anything you don't find funny, but if he's nervous and trying to impress you and you reply with a stony face or even an eye-roll, he'll cringe when he does think of you.
6 How You Reacted When You Met His Mom, And How She Reacted, Too
The first time a significant other meets the parents is a big deal for everyone involved, and it takes a lot to forget it. What took place the first time you met his mom, or anybody else extremely important in his life, will be something he remembers, whether it was good or bad. Not only would he have taken notice of the way you reacted to meeting someone like his mom, but he would have paid attention to how she reacted too.
This first meeting is important because it gives an indication of whether approval is given, and whether things are going to run smoothly or be awkward in the future. Of course, impressions can change, but you still hardly ever forget what went down at that first meeting. Depending on both of your reactions, he'll either smile when he looks back on it or bury his head in his pillow and try to forget it.
5 Whether You Spoke Highly Of Him In Front Of Others Or Put Him Down
Although we don't like to admit it, basically all of us care what other people think to some extent. It's never a good feeling to find out that the person you're supposed to be seeing has been saying negative things about you behind your back, and embarrassing you in front of others. So if you put him through something like that, you can be sure that he will remember it, no matter how badly he wishes he could forget it.
And if you stroked his ego by gushing about him in front of either your friends or his, he'll remember that too. Being spoken about in either a good or bad way can have such a strong influence on our feelings that either would be very hard to forget!
4 How Often You Complimented Him And Boosted Or Killed His Ego
It would be a long search for somebody who didn't like to be complimented in a relationship. So if you complimented him often and boosted his ego with those compliments in the first few weeks of dating, it's likely that he'll remember it. Things might fall apart between you later on, but he'll still think of you as the girl who made him feel good about himself and who gave him lots of attention.
In particular, research shows that men love to be complimented on their physique, so simply asking him if he's been working out or been to the gym recently could leave a mark. They also generally like to be told that they're good drivers and are good at public speaking.
3 Whether You Were Unique Or Just Like Everybody Else
The good thing about being unique is that you'll be remembered, even if standing out makes it difficult to find a relationship that sticks. If you do find that you're very different from the people you know, and that can be simply down to your personality or can be influenced by your interests or even your job, trust that a guy will remember dating you, especially if you weren't afraid to be yourself.
It might turn out that he's not compatible with you or actually wants someone who is just like everyone else-the movies don't admit this, but it does happen sometimes! He might not be your soulmate, and that's okay, but he'll still remember you for being different, and probably respect you for having the courage to be yourself.
2 Forgiving Him: If You Jumped Down His Throat When He Did Something Wrong, He Won't Forget It
If you've been dating for a month, it's probably safe to assume that one of you has made some kind of mistake or done the wrong thing. We tend to remember those mistakes if they're really bad, but we also remember the way our mistakes are responded to. Jumping down a guy's throat, even after he'd apologized, will leave him with a nasty feeling about you, and he won't forget it.
By the same token, you'll have a place in his memory if you were super forgiving about a situation in which he messed up. He'll think of you as someone who has a lot of patience and a lot of understanding, and he'll miss that about you if you do break up in the future.
1 Honesty: If You Spoke The Truth Or Told Lies
Both honesty and lies have the potential to stay in our memories forever. Telling the truth is such an admirable trait that it tends to leave an impression and garner respect, so a guy is likely to remember you being honest. Especially if you were truthful when it was difficult to be, and weren't afraid to brave an uncomfortable situation, that will probably be remembered.
Endless lies also leave an impression on someone, though they don't accompany feelings of admiration or respect. Lie after lie will make a guy think of you as someone who can't be trusted and whose word doesn't mean anything. A few white lies can't be avoided, but big, frequent lies tend to be very hard to forget in the long run.
