16 Signs That He Doesn't Feel The Same As Day One
No one can predict if a relationship will last. The beginning of every relationship is when he's the most interested in you. He'll text you only to say hi because you were on his mind. He always wants to see you, and he can't keep his hands off of you. It's called the “honeymoon phase.” But that phase can turn into the comfort zone after a while. You can tell when he doesn't put in much of an effort to be with you and do things for you. Maybe his feelings fizzled out, and the relationship has run its course…
He doesn't text you anymore to say that he misses you, he stopped asking you out on dates, etc. Maybe you made excuses for this behavior like he's been busy. But if you have to wonder how he feels about you, then you know something's wrong. It's hard to hear, but something is indeed wrong.
Whether it's with your boyfriend or a guy you've flirted with for a while but gave you the cold shoulder out of nowhere, it's likely that he doesn't feel the same as he did on day one. Take a look at the list below for signs. If he's done a couple of these things, you either need to have a talk with him or just walk away.
16 He Doesn't Comfort You Like He Used To When You Get Upset
He was always available for you when you needed him the most. He comforted you when you were upset. He bought chocolates and told you that everything was going be okay. He was always on your side. He even talked bad about the other person for making you feel the way you did. When he didn't agree with you on certain things, he'd tread lightly. But he does the exact opposite of that now. He listens to your issues, but he criticizes your behavior, as well. Sometimes he only hears half the story and leaves. He's insensitive to your feelings. If he still felt the same way about you like he did on day one, he'd be more understanding. Most importantly, he'd be there to comfort you and not antagonize you.
15 He's Critical Of You And He Tries To Change You
He accepted you for who you are before, but he's gotten a bit critical of you. He used to think your indecisiveness was adorable, but now he thinks you're indecisive because you're lazy. Maybe he asks, “Why can't you be more like that?” Because you're not good enough for him anymore? Unfortunately, he's more focused on what he thinks is wrong with you than on what makes you beautiful. At the beginning of the relationship, he constantly complimented you and told you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. He told you how he fell for you and all the things he admired about you. That turned to dust. If he gives you the judgy eyes every time you do something, then his feelings for you have drastically changed.
14 You Put In More Effort To Make Plans With Him
Do you put in more effort to make plans with him than he does? If so, that's not good. A relationship is a two-way street. If his feelings haven't changed, then he'd definitely put in a lot of effort to spend as much time as he can with you. He'll always want to see you. He'll be so excited. He'll think of places to go on vacation, new restaurants to try out, fun activities to do, and so much more. If he can't even set up a simple movie date with you, then that's a problem. You looked up the times to watch a movie with him. You booked reservations for restaurants. You basically did everything. Take a step back, and see if this is really worth it.
13 You Have To Be The One To Text And Call Him
You've reached out to him, too, but it was mostly him who initiated the texts and the phone calls. He wanted to talk to you all the time. He used to check up on you during the day, and text you good morning and good night. You were on his mind right when he woke up and right when he went to bed. Now, you have to be the one to text and call him. When you initiate, he doesn't respond to your texts until much much later, and he forgets to call you back. It's an unpleasant feeling. He kept in touch with you more, and all of a sudden, he does less to nothing. He doesn't even make an effort to see how you're doing. Uh-oh indeed.
12 He Lacks Physical Affection And Intimacy Towards You
Physical affection and intimacy are very important in a relationship. It's a way to show how much you value one another. He used to give you back hugs, kiss you on the cheek, and compliment you that you're beautiful. You felt admired, and you knew how he felt about you. Now you wonder how he feels about you because he doesn't even want to hold your hand in public. Your time in the sack has also gotten less intense. He's not up for it most of the time, either. He gives you an excuse like he's too tired or he's behind at work. It's as if he's trying to avoid any intimate time with you. You need to talk to him if you feel insecure because of his lack of affection.
11 You're Not As Involved In His Social Life As You Were
You were always invited to dinner and parties with his friends. You attended his family gatherings. He also spent time with the people who matter to you. But that's come to a full stop. He doesn't invite you anymore when he goes out with his friends, who bring their girlfriends all the time. He tells you that it's going to be boring so you should just go out with your friends. Maybe he doesn't even tell you about it at all. He tries to stop you from coming with him instead of persuading you to go with him. If his feelings remained the same, he would've wanted the other people in his life to know that you're his girl. If he doesn't do that anymore, then his feelings for you have changed.
10 He Just Nods His Head When You Have A Conversation With Him
He's not all there when you're in a conversation with him. He hears you, but he's not really listening to you. He'll just nod when you say something to him, and that's about it. He doesn't get in on the discussion, and you're the only one doing the talking. There's no eye contact, either. He used to express his opinions. He always had a say in everything. So, you ask him questions about the topic of the conversation. He obviously has no clue. He mumbles something out, but you know he didn't pay attention. He also seems restless like he wants to be somewhere else. Communication is key in a relationship, and if you don't have that with him, then the relationship is not worth it.
9 There's No Small Or Big Romantic Gestures From Him Anymore
Small or big romantic gestures are all very thoughtful and very sweet. They make you go, “Aww.” Maybe he randomly rang your doorbell and stood there with a bouquet of flowers. Maybe he posted a note on your refrigerator for a romantic date at your favorite restaurant. Maybe he bought your favorite chips every time he went grocery shopping. All of these things show that he thinks about you a lot and knows what you like and don't like. Lately, it seems like everything he knew about you flew out the window. There haven't been any romantic gestures. He stopped cooking you a nice meal. He's also forgetful like the anniversary, birthday, and gifts for the holiday. Gift cards are great for last minute, but it doesn't seem like he's even trying anymore.
8 He Spends More Time On His Phone When You're Around
It's bad when he doesn't really listen to you when you talk, but it's worse when he spends more time on his phone than on you. He would rather play on his phone, and text other people than to do anything with you. You ask him if he wants to watch a movie, and he says no. Even if he says yes, he focuses more on his phone than he is in the movie. It probably makes you want to chuck his phone away, and maybe you should. You should be more important to him than an inanimate object. He doesn't give you the attention you deserve. You miss the times when he used to cuddle with you under the blankets, and kiss you on your forehead, don't you?
7 Your Habits Annoy Him More Than Ever
He thought some of your habits were cute back then, but now it annoys him more than ever. He liked how you asked a lot of questions when you watched sports or tv shows with him. He was happy to answer all of them because it was cute to see how you were so interested in them. Now, he tells you to pay attention or just google it. When you didn't know how to put together a shelf, he was more than happy to help. He doesn't even offer to help you with anything anymore. He used to smile and tell you how cute you looked when you furrowed your eyebrows because that's what you do when you're focused on something. He just rolls his eyes now. All of these things never bothered him before.
6 He Checks Out Other Women When You Guys Are Out
Most guys will not check out other women if they really like the person they're with in a relationship. You should be his main focus. It's wrong for him to put that focus on another woman, especially when you're talking to him. He's not focused on you 100% as he should be. Maybe it was a friendly smile, but it's one thing to smile while you guys are walking or waiting for something and another thing when he blatantly ignores you and makes eye contact with another woman. If he constantly talks to you about the women he hang out with, then it's likely that he's less interested in you than he was before. Overall, if he's got wandering eyes every time you're with him, it says something.
5 He Only Talks About Himself Or He Doesn't Tell You Anything
He used to talk about everything with you like his craziest and most embarrassing moments, and he listened to you when you shared your stories. He reminisced the conversations you guys had, and the many things you guys did together. Now, it seems like he only talks about himself and how his day went. He might ask you how your day went because you asked about his, but he doesn't really listen to you. He responds with one word like, “Really?” or “Oh.” It's worse when he doesn't tell you anything because it's awkward when you find out about his promotion or about his new car from someone else. If he doesn't bother to mention anything that's worth celebrating to you, then there's definitely something wrong.
4 He Forgets And Flakes On You When There's A Date
He used to put everything on his calendar so that he doesn't forget when there's a date. He was punctual because he didn't want you to wait, and he'd rather wait on you. But it seems like he's always making you wait because he forgot. He also flakes on you a lot, too. He doesn't even give you an explanation or even apologize for what he did. It's so unlike him. This would have never happened if he still felt the same way about you. You know it's a problem when you haven't seen him in a while, and he still flaked. You ought to flake on him once and see how he feels about that. Sometimes you have to do things so that he sees from your perspective.
3 He's "Too Busy" To Hang Out With You
He always made time to hang out with you and did his best to pencil you in on his busy schedule. He wanted to spend quality time with you, even if it was only for half an hour. But lately, he's been making excuses to not hang out with you. He's “too busy.” While that may be true, you know something's up when you feel like he's trying to avoid you. You don't see him as often as you used to, and you lost count of his same excuses. Maybe you even saw pictures of him on social media having a blast that same night he said he was “too busy.” He's busy all right; he's busy making plans with other people, that is. Because we live in the digital age, someone's going to post something up.
2 He Shows Little To No Interest In You
In the beginning, he wanted to know more about you. He wanted to know what kind of a person you are. He wanted to know what you like and dislike, what your goals are, and just about everything. He wanted to feel closer to you. He used to notice your haircut, your new perfume, the way you put your hair up into a bun when you're reading, and all the other little things. When he notices the smallest details about you, it means that he couldn't take his eyes off of you when you were around. Unfortunately, that's not the case anymore. He shows little to no interest in you. It confuses you, and it upsets you. But this is one of the most obvious signs that he doesn't feel the same as day one.
1 Your Intuition Tells You Something Is Wrong
What does your gut tell you about the way he feels about you? You know what they say about a woman's intuition. We tend to be right. So, you're unsure of where you stand with him because he's been acting differently with you. Maybe his feelings for you have changed. If you really have to wonder, then the chances are he probably doesn't feel the same way he did at the beginning of a fling or a relationship. If he did, he would've paid attention to you and expressed his affections toward you. Give you the emotional security. A relationship is a two-way street. If he's done a couple of things on the list, then he clearly doesn't value your time and your love. Always listen to your intuition.