15 Unspeakable Things We've ALL Done Behind Our Partner's Back

They say honesty is the best policy, especially in relationships, but often that's a policy not kept. We all have our quirks and odd habits, and sometimes we tend to try to keep them from our lovers and partners.

And there are more serious traits we may try to hide as well, such as jealousy, mistrust, and cheating. When people think of cheating, they think of being with another person in a physical manner. But cheating can mean other behaviors as well.

For example, on the comedy Mike & Molly, the two main characters would diet together. But there was an episode where it was revealed that Mike was cheating on Molly by sneakily eating foods - like Snickers bars - without revealing it to Molly. That was a form of cheating.

Psychology Today in an article defined sneaking and/or cheating as lying, manipulating or tweaking the truth. The article goes on to say that it's important to know that's probably not a good idea to deal with the sneak head on.

“If you've been coping with this problem for a while, you know that direct confrontation doesn't work. In fact, the more you try to call them on their problematic behavior, the sneakier they get.”

And surely, the same partner who is being “sneaked on” has done some sneaking themselves.

Some of the things we do behind our partner's back are harmless, while others can be damaging to the relationship. Perhaps the most important thing to remember is this: it's not always about being a bad person as much as it is about being perceived as a bad person. These things we do behind our mates' backs often have consequences, though.

How many of you have done these things?

15 Checking That Phone… For Everything!

How many of you have picked up your partner's phone while he or she was in the shower and scanned through the messages and numbers? It seems harmless, but the consequences could be hurtful. First of all, how are you going to explain to him or her how you found out about whatever it is you got off the phone? Are you ready for the relationship to end right on the spot? Well, if you decide to keep it inside, it could cause stress and it could also cause you to begin to mistrust your partner and the whole dynamic of the relationship would change. This kind of sneakiness often leads to other behaviors as your curiosity may get the best of you when you see messages or numbers you don't know about.

14 Checking Caller ID

Johnny was at his girlfriend's house. She was in the bedroom getting ready for their date. He heard her talking on the phone and thought he heard her giggling before she hung up and yelled to him, “Be right out.” Johnny was not the secure type and picked up her phone to see the called ID, as he really wanted to know whom she had been talking to. When he saw a man's name on the caller ID, he memorized the number and called it the next day from his office. When the man answered, he hung up, and then convinced a woman colleague in his office to call the number and ask for his girlfriend by name. When the guy asked “Who is this?” the colleague hung up and Johnny was racked with guilt. Now there was no way he could ask his girlfriend who the guy was without starting a serious fight.

13 Glancing Over His Inbox

Carol helped her boyfriend Jerry set up an email address, so she knew his password. One day while he was getting dressed for their date night, she sat down at his computer to check her email. But he had left it open and she noticed he had just signed out of his email. Carol clicked to sign back in and noticed email exchanges between Jerry and an obvious female. Just then Jerry came into the room and she practically jumped out of her chair but gathered herself quick enough to close his email before he saw what she had been doing. They went out as planned, but the whole night was ruined because Carol was distracted because she was wondering who the “other woman” was. It snowballed from there and they ended up breaking up because she didn't respect his privacy… or trust him anymore.

12 Spend Wayyy More Than You Tell

How many times have you snuck into the house because you didn't want your mate to see how many shopping bags you were bringing into the house? You just couldn't resist those Jimmy Choos and so you went over budget. And didn't you two just have a discussion about how you spend more on shoes than groceries? So instead of buying most of this week's groceries at the usual spot, you had to stop at the Dollar Store. As for the new shoes, you transferred them from the box they came in into a Dollar Store shopping bag. You already know that when he asks, “Are those new shoes?” when you wear them what are you going to say, “Oh no. I've had these for years.” And then there's figuring out to keep him from seeing the credit card bill, but that's another section.

11 Light Up, Only When You Are Out With The Girls

Your partner is adamantly against smoking, but you have dabbled in it off and on since you were a teenager. You go out about once a week with your girls, and often the smoky haze in the bar is too much for you and you borrow a cigarette from a friend. Before you know it, you're also having one during breaks at the office. Realizing the smell gets on your clothes and even in your hair, you keep an extra bottle of your usual perfume in your purse to spray on you before you get home. But one night you've had a few drinks too many and forget to douse yourself in perfume before you go in the house. Your man smells smoke and says “Where there's smoke, there's fire,” and demands to know if you are smoking. You manage to blow it off by claiming your girlfriend was smoking and you were sitting right next to her. He believes you, this time.

10 Drink Way More Than You Let On

There's nothing like a glass of wine to help you settle down after coming home from work or a stressful day at your mother-in-law's. Wine is actually good for your circulation, but that's not why you drink it, is it? In fact, you keep at least two bottles in the house… one you share now and then with your guy, and the other is hidden in the cupboard that you drink from every day! It becomes tough though, when you and your man go out for dinner, and you happen to go to a spot that you frequent for lunch, and the waiter says, “The usual, miss,” and he brings an apple martini to the table. Your man does a Scooby impression on the spot. “Roolff?” Alcoholic? Maybe. Maybe not.

9 Pick Your Nose

Vicki keeps several floral-looking boxes of tissue around the house. But that doesn't stop her from poking her index finger in her nose to clean it out. Of course, she doesn't do it unless she thinks no one is looking. Her mom used to catch her doing it and say, “Going fishing?” Then there was her sister, who would pick her nose and then wipe it on the furniture. Well, actually she would wipe it underneath the sofa or a table or chair. And what about when you are in your car and you think no one sees you poking around in your nostrils. Actress and TV personalities did a hilarious routine once about people who pick their noses when they think no one sees them. But we do see them, don't we?

8 Look Over His Comments On Instagram, Facebook

Many fights have ensued as a result of comments posted on social media and read by people's partners. It's not the reading that's so bad… it's the interpretations of the comments. A lot of people don't really post a realistic representation of their lives on social media. After all, we tend to post only the best photos and relay information that tends to portray positive things. For couples, comments on social media can become a point of contention when one of the mates sees his/her partner conversing with someone considered romantic competition. People have ended up meeting offline to fight, and there have been instances when people have been hurt and even died. Don't spend more time on social media than you do with your mate. Live communication is best.

7 Flirt With A Coworker

Oh snap! The new executive assistant at the office is one good-looking dude! It's hard not to flirt with him. And he flirts right back. So Stacy has been in a relationship with Paul, and it's gotten kind of stale. They come home from work, grab a bite, maybe a glass of wine, and then they plop in front of the TV until they fall asleep. The guy at work is doing something Paul hasn't been doing lately - paying attention to Stacy. So she flirts back, and she has even started to pay more attention to how she dresses, how she does her hair and her makeup now that someone is paying attention. Here's the problem - it could lead to an affair, and also, it could cause friction between Paul and Stacy when she starts to resent him not doting over her like the “office husband” does.

6 Took A Few Bucks Off His Dresser… Like 100 Times

Rick has the habit of coming home and emptying his pockets on the dresser. That includes his wallet and a few dollar bills and some coins. He never counts it. When he gets up in the morning and gets dressed, he puts it all back in his pocket. He doesn't really notice if some of the coins or bills are missing, or if his wallet has been tampered with. He trusts his girlfriend Missy. However, Missy often grabs some of the money to pay her lunch allowance. And if the scattered mess on the dresser isn't enough, she'll dip into Rick's wallet. He's a construction worker who often grabs lunch with his buddies at fast food restaurants, so he always keeps cash on him. Missy has never said, “Hey Rick, can you spare a few bucks for my lunch?” You have to wonder if it'll ever escalate to her “borrowing” his credit cards. And what if he sees her one day, and a fight over honesty begins?

5 Pretend To Be Sleeping When He Initiates It

Do you expect to hear thunder and lightning every time you and your partner have intimate relations? Did it even happen the first time? The second? The third? So now you just don't want to go through the motions all the time, so you play Sleeping Beauty. But the thing is you are facing away from him so your Prince Charming can't kiss you awake. He tries nuzzling your neck, but you just clench your legs together tighter and claim you're tired, hoping he'll give up and go to sleep. The only thing is, what are you going to think tomorrow when he doesn't come right home after work and claims he's having a boys' night out. Will you wish you had taken the time to satisfy him or at least tried to communicate why you were REALLY disinterested?

4 Get Jealous Over Everything And Never Admit It

Jealous people tend to be insecure. They hate when their partner does anything away from them, whether it's with friends or family. Geez, some lovers are even jealous of their partner's pet. “You love that dog more than me.” A lot of folks will try to hide their jealousy, and when confronted, they will deny they are jealous. They will say they are just concerned about their partner's well-being, that he shouldn't pay too much attention to the dog or he'll spoil it, or that his friends will take advantage of him when he spends too much time with them. Jealousy is also a form of mistrust and it can ruin a relationship when one partner never wants the other to spend time with anyone or anything other than her.

3 Apply Way More Makeup Than They Will Ever Know

Kevin thought Lisa's face was flawless. And Lisa made damn sure he kept thinking that. When she would spend the night at his place, she'd sneak out of bed in the morning before he woke up and touch up her face. The big dumb lug just thought her lips were always red and her skin smooth and clear of blemishes. She was careful of what products she used, buying make up that did the job of covering her imperfections without smearing. One night she had a lot more than usual to drink and didn't wake up in the morning before he did. When she woke up, he was staring at her and said, “Honey, are you sick? You look like crap.” The jig was up.

2 Shaving/Plucking More Places Than He Knows

Most women shave their legs. That's a given. Most also shave under their arms, and many will keep the bikini area smooth as well. Then there are those that have hairy arms who will purchase special shaving devices to reduce the monkey look on their arms. But probably the most secret place a woman will try to keep clean is right under her nose, literally. No woman wants a mustache and will go to great lengths to keep her man from seeing her with one. She will even go to a professional to keep the lip area free of unsightly hair, and worse, whiskers! Finally, like men, women can get unsightly nose hair, and it's as painful as all get out to pluck out. But it's gotta be done because no man wants a woman with a mustache or nose hairs!

1 Cheated

By all accounts, when you are in a relationship, he/she is the only one you are supposed to be sleeping with. But sometimes things happen at home that “makes” you go out and sleep with someone else. Jenny's man was out of town and she felt lonely, so she went out for a drink and ended up spending the night with someone she met at a bar. A lady at the gym would work out in front of Bobby and mercilessly flirt with him, until he gave in and went back to her place. Just about everyone thinks they can get away with it. But afterwards, we feel guilty and some relationship counselors will say you should admit the fling to your partner. But what will that do… relieve your conscious will hurting your partner and destroying trust? Think about what's worth more: your relationship or that physical encounter.