15 Undercover Warnings That He's Not Over Her

Whenever we're in a new relationship, you're caught inside a euphoric whirlwind of pure glee. It's the honeymoon phase where nothing either of you two do is wrong, and all those little quarks are extremely endearing (and trust me, you'll grow to hate them once the phase is over, but luckily, if it's true love, that won't be a problem). Except for one massive quirk: the feeling you get if you're convinced that your new boyfriend is still not completely over his ex. Or worse - if he's still head over heels in love with her and you just happen to be a rebound.

When we're with someone new who has a past, of course, we want to ask questions without making them feel uncomfortable, especially if he seems like he's still haunted by his ex's ghost - which means that very ghost can compromise your new relationship. Lingering feelings can jeopardize something you consider to be a good thing (at least currently). If you're fighting a ghost, it can render you powerless, and that happens to be one of the worst feelings you can have in the beginnings of a new relationship. Here are 15 signs that he's still not completely over his ex.

15 He Still Watches The Same Shows He Used To Watch With Her

Once upon a time, he and his ex-lady once binged watch all of Breaking Bad in a single three day weekend. After that, they commonly would watch Stranger Things together when they had the spare time. Yes, of course, these are amazing shows and while one is still running, if he sits down and watches a show that's been discontinued over and over again, it's probably because it reminds him of her. Especially, if he has a look of faraway wonderment that has nothing to do with Skyler White's annoying antics. Best thing to probably do is start your own traditions of binge-watching completely different shows together and create some new memories. Get the focus off their past and bring the focus back to your specific relationship. You can also call him out on it, but that bring up some repressed memories that you don't need to hear.

14 She's Still Listed As A “Favorite” In His Phone

Of course, you didn't mean to glance at his “favorites” list in his iPhone when it was sitting there unlocked on the coffee table (uh, it just totally fell on your hands), but hey, stuff happens, I'm I right? While you were completely thrilled to discover that he hasn't contacted her in a long time (by voice or text or any other forms) she still is listed as a Favorite in his phone. Now, he could have just forgotten that she was listed in there, but if he commonly rotates out his Favorites, this was an intentional move. He still considers her extremely important (especially since if your phone is on the “Do Not Disturb” feature, a Favorite is able to get through). It's best to have a conversation about it and yes - that means you have to admit you went through this phone.

13 He Saved Their Old Text Conversations

This is sort of falls into the same category as the Favorites - if he still has old text conversations from his ex that he has saved in his phone (or worse - they're actually hidden in his phone), he's still holding a flame for her. Usually, after a break-up, it's common to delete old messages because even seeing a glimpse of them in your messages can cause a particular amount of heartache, so it's easier to delete them altogether. However, if he's still hung up on the ex, he'll cling to those memories like a life preserver on the Titanic. He wants to physically be able to look at old conversations that they used to have when they were happy. If he's truly over her, those messages would have already had gone “bye-bye”.

12 Her Name Still Comes Up A Stupid Amount Of Times

You've started to notice that her name seems to fall out of his mouth a lot - not in a “well, you're nothing like Terri used to be”, but rather when the two of you are doing simple, mundane things, which is actually worse. After my ex and I had broken up, his name would come up a bit in conversation because I was so used to talking about him when he wasn't around (not in a bad way). But I started noticing that I would do it quite a bit - the only person I didn't do it around? The person I was seeing. It took some work because it was more of a habit rather than lingering feelings, but if he's not making an effort and her name is dropping constantly, it's either time to have a conversation about it or break away completely.

11 She's Still One Of His "Best Friends"

This one I take a bit of an issue with because usually, all my exes are still friends. I always say that if you truly loved someone genuinely, you'll always care for them. Though, this actually an issue if he considers her one of his best friends and talks to her like she is. There's really nothing wrong about catching up with an ex on their birthday or saying something sweet around the holidays, but if they're in constant communication with each other, it could be a bad sign. They say that's it's impossible to actually be friends with an ex so soon after the break-up, so if he's talking to her non-stop within a year of the breakup, he's not over her. In order for a true friendship to form without feelings, they should be apart for over a year.

10 He's Still Bitter Over Their Break-Up

Ah yes, the hostility that usually comes after a break-up. We all go through it at one point or another, it's how some of us cope. But, while it's normal to go through a string of bitter days following a break-up, it's NOT normal to be still hung up on it way later down the line. “Some guys have physically broken up, yet haven't' emotionally let go and they stay connected through conflict,” Dr. Wendy Walsh, the author of The 30-Day Love Detox, said. “So if he's still talking about the bad things she did in the past, he's trying to remind himself that he's still in love with her - because he is still in love with her.” If he's still angry over the past, you might have to take that into consideration for your own future.

9 Yep, He's Still In Mourning Over The Death Of The Relationship

So, your current boyfriend still upset over a particularly difficult former relationship THREE YEARS LATER? Oh, that's a giant red flag. While it's okay and perfectly normal to be upset about a break-up, it's not okay if you've already claimed to have moved on and jumped into another relationship entirely. If he's still showing signs of mourning and even clear-cut depression, chances are you're a rebound and not in an actual relationship. You're a temporary band-aide of sorts, and will probably only end up getting hurt. If he's in it for the long run with you, he shouldn't be still in mourning and have been able to move on - especially if a lot of time has passed since they broke up. If you feel that you're a rebound, chances are you are and should just walk away.

8 He's Comparing Her To You Constantly

Talk about a major eye roll here. While you're always pining to hear how much better than his ex that you are, if he does it too much, it's a massive warning sign of impending heartbreak. The thing is, if he's really over her, he wouldn't be comparing your every move to her, even if he is putting a positive spin on it. “If you find him musing about how great you are and so much better than his ex - in bed, in the kitchen, at sports - then he's probably actually pining for her, yet trying to convince himself that you are his future,” Dr. Walsh says pensively. While everything he's saying sounds good, you're being compared to a mere ghost of a relationship and that's always a lose-lose situation.

7 He Still Refuses To Bring You Around All Their Mutual Friends

So when he was with his ex-girlfriend, the two of them had made mutual friends between them and had a particular circle they ran with. If he actually cares for you, he'd what to show you off to the world, but if he does this YET keeps you away from mutual friends that he had with his ex - it's not a good sign. It means he perhaps doesn't want word getting back to his ex that he's moved on, especially if he really hasn't moved on. “If you aren't invited to a certain social function because he tells you, 'it's just a bunch of old friends,' you have to wonder if he's actually hoping to run into his ex,” Walsh warns. Either insist that he take you around his friends, or have that very dreaded “talk”.

6 He Still Has All The Stuff She Left At His Place

They even had dedicated an entire episode of How I Met Your Mother to this very subject. It's the one where Ted and Robin break out into a massive fight when she realizes his entire apartment is furnished with things given to him by ex-girlfriends. Sure, it's one thing if the items are from numerous exes and they hold no sentimental value to him, but if they're all from one specific ex, you might have a problem. Sure, he might have been too lazy to throw out the things and buy other things (pretty much like idiot Ted was), or he's hanging onto the relationship by hanging on to those objects. Perhaps you casually let him know that he should give the stuff back to her, and if he throws a fit, you know the dude is still hung up on her.

5 Her Family? More Like His Family

When you're in a long-term relationship, it's perfectly normal to become close with the other's family - especially if their family is pretty much downright amazing (if they're a bunch of jag-weasels, it's easy as all heck to walk away). But, if the relationship ends and he jumps into a new relationship and STILL hangs out with his ex's family from time to time, he's still hung up on his ex and is hoping to catch sight of her at least once (much like the mutual friends thing). Once the relationship is over, he has to let her go by severing ties with her family. Sure, it's a slow process if he was super close to them, but if he's still hanging onto them for a long time after the relationship died, it's because he's trying to prove something to her and is hoping to win her back.

4 There Are Still Pictures Of Her Around

Okay, this is a biggy. It's still weird if your boyfriend still has pictures of his ex-girlfriend around his place. Sure, you get that they were once close friends before they jumped into a relationship, but that's no excuse. He's still clinging to the memory of her and it shows in him keeping those pictures in his eye line, ESPECIALLY if he's with someone else. Those pictures should be retired or even burned. And it's a deal breaker if there are actual COUPLE PICTURES of them up around his place, or even still on his Instagram or Facebook feed. A person who isn't hung up on their ex would retire the pictures, otherwise, he totally is and it's up to you to break it off. Not only are you a rebound, but it's also a little creepy that he still holds onto pictures that tightly.

3 He's Still Friends With Her On Social Media

Sure, if the relationship ended well and it wasn't a massive implosion of a break-up, it's only natural to still be friends with her on social media. But if you find that they're constantly talking to each other, commenting on each other's photos, sharing memories of the things they tagged each other in when they were still in a relationship, you're staring at a massive problem in the eye. And what's even worse? If he's staying up late and commenting on her photos from her last trip to Hawaii, it's time to move on from him. It's clear he hasn't let go and you'll only end up hurt. If he's doing this constantly and not willing to delete her as a friend online, he only views you as a safety net.

2 He's Having Private Conversations With Her Behind Your Back

Oh, HECK no to this one. You have realized that you're not the first person he goes to when he was given a promotion at work. And, not only that, but he's actually HIDING the fact that he's having these conversations with her. Usually, if a couple shares an iCloud or other devices where their iMessage download to a mutual device, the person with a secret will use other forms of communication to reach out and have conversations with their ex. If they're going through that much trouble to “just” have a simple conversation, it means they're actually in the middle of an emotional affair and still hung up completely on their ex. You just might be being used until they feel they can get her back, and if that's the case, head for the hills.

1 Your Gut Tells You He's Not Over Her

Women should always trust their intuition. If you feel that he's still not over his ex, even if he's not doing any of these things, there's a reason why. It means he's shutting down to you in a way that's starting to tip you off. His emotional bond is still with this other woman, which is why you feel you don't have one with him yourself. This is never a good thing because if you feel it in your bones that you're only a rebound, you need to convince yourself that you're more than that and walk away from him. A man who puts his ex-girlfriend up that high on the pedestal is never a good thing, because if he does eventually get over her and replaces YOU in that role, and the higher up on a pedestal you are, the hard you hit the ground when you fall.