15 Things To Do If You're In Love But Afraid To Commit

Committing to someone is not a joke. When you're serious about taking adulthood seriously, you know that you have to think carefully about some major decisions. You need to know whether or not your emotions are emotions driving you to make a certain choice or it's your heart and brain working together. You definitely want the latter. Love is a complicated thing and if you committed to someone you're not 100% sure about, chances are you will not be as happy as you thought that you would be. And if you're afraid to make that commitment, girl you just have to give yourself more time. Don't rush it and just remember that if he's meant to be yours, he will be yours no matter what. Yes, that cliché actually works. Don't worry, you're not the only person afraid to make a commitment. In fact, all of us have certain commitment issues, just in different ways. If this is you, read on to find out what to do.

15 Tell Him About It

Seriously woman, just tell him. Nothing bad will happen if you do this and there is nothing wrong with admitting the truth. You're afraid. So what? You're unsure. So what? These are all valid and if you deny yourself the chance to express how you truly feel, you will be afraid and unsure about love all your life. And you will drive men insane. They will probably think you're not as dedicated to them as they are to you. In reality, you love them so so much, it's just that you can't bring yourself to make the commitment. Do you want your boyfriend to think that you don't love him or do you want him to know the truth? Just tell him that you're feeling scared of committing and tell him what's going on with you and how you're feeling. You can have an open, honest conversation about it.

14 Get Rid Of Clutter

Do you know why some people are so obsessed with meditation? Because it helps them get rid of the clutter in their minds. What about why people practice minimalism? For the same reason: it lessens the clutter in their life. This is what you want to do. If you know you're afraid to make a commitment to the guy in your life but you don't know why, and you want to know why, consider getting rid of the clutter in your life. Identify the things (and people) that are not serving you well or are toxic. Eliminate them and give yourself a cleaner more peaceful space. Crazy as it sounds, sometimes your fear to commit is driven by your fear to add another thing (or person) in your life that will just take up space. Get rid of the clutter and stress in your life and you can figure out if this is the case and what you are really worried about.

13 Teach Yourself To Become Less Vulnerable

Yes, being vulnerable is just as important as being strong. You probably think that you can't commit to him because you're not vulnerable at all, but it's possible that you are actually too vulnerable and too afraid. But you have to teach yourself to be less vulnerable and less weak. You should understand that in some cases, you have to be brave enough to do whatever it takes to get what you want. And if you really want to commit to the guy in your life who loves you totally and completely, then you need to be stronger. Gather up all the strength that you have and commit to him. Chances are, you will be fine. Because if you strongly believe that this guy is worth it and worth having in your life, then the truth is that he probably is.  Practicing strength and learning when to use it is the secret here and you won't be sorry for learning this lesson.

12 Forget Your Expectations

Then we have expectations aka the things that drive us totally crazy. Sure, expectations are totally normal and we all have them. We all expect something from someone. However, if you let your expectations take control of your life, you're in big trouble, woman. Don't even go down that road. Practice having fewer expectations towards your friends and your family. Practice having fewer expectations towards your co-workers and even towards yourself. We're not saying eliminate them for good. Just stop thinking about them so much. The more that you keep doing this, the fewer expectations you will have toward your Prince Charming. Committing to someone is not just about knowing whether or not he's worth it. Sometimes, it's also about knowing whether or not you're in a proper state to make the commitment.

11 Don't Be Afraid Of Rejection

Hey, just because you're a woman doesn't mean you should never be rejected. Rejections happen to everyone, especially when it comes to love and relationships. Don't be afraid of it. If you've never, ever been rejected, that proves that you're living a very boring life. You're not having fun or experimenting. You're not putting yourself out there. You're not trying out new and perhaps even risky things. Like making a commitment. If you commit to this guy and he bails on you, so what? He's a jerk. You're not. You deserve so much better. What is there to fuss about? Just cry and move on. But never be afraid of rejection. This is the kind of fear that will hold you back and the next thing you know, there's nothing new and exciting in your life. And you're all alone. And that's not the life you want.

10 Don't Be Afraid Of Being Loved More

Because what is there to be afraid of? Yes, yes, we know some of us can be a little anxious when it comes to love, especially when it comes to being loved. Some of us have dealt with being alone and what you could call forced independence for so long they thought they're the only ones that they need. Then a great guy came along and made you realize that you, girlfriend, are worthy of being loved a little more. So what do you do? Well, you can choose to commit to him or you can choose to let him go. But instead of making the decision right away, check in with your gut. Ask your inner-self for some guidance and know whether or not letting him go is worth it. Maybe you just need to let yourself be loved. Don't fear it, woman. If you trust this man and if your gut tells you that he's worth a chance, then by all means, give it a chance.

9 Be Less Busy

We're all busy. We get that. But the thing about being busy is that people use it too often as an excuse rather than a story of reality. We're always telling other people that we're so busy that we can't attend the birthday party or join a Saturday night out when in reality, we're in our bedrooms wallowing about our crappy life. Well, sometimes wallowing is okay. Most of the time, however, it's kind of nuts. So instead of being busy (whether that's real busy or pretend busy), why not let life be? If you're truly busy, that's fine. If you're not but you also don't want to attend this lame party, tell them you're not in the mood to attend a lame party. Tell them you think it is a lame party and they can hate you or whatever but you're just being honest. See, the less busy you are, the more you're allowing yourself to get a strong hold on real feelings and real circumstances in life. This will allow you to easily deal with your commitment issues.

8 Think About Your Standards

Seriously, do you even have standards? If you do, what are they? Do you just want a kind and loving man or you want a kind and loving man with the latest model of a Ferrari who works in a skyscraper building? See, most of us have these standards and most of us are proud of them. There's nothing wrong with that. The problem is when our standards are more vague than we think. When you love someone but can't seem to commit to him, then think carefully about yourself and the standards that you have for the people in your life. Stop blaming him for why you can't give him your all. Study your standards and see whether or not he fits the mold of the kind of partner that you want to be with. If not, then that's most likely the reason why you can't bring yourself to be 100 percent dedicated to this person. More often that not, it's just a matter of paying attention to the small and even subtle things.

7 Ask Yourself If You're Still In Love With Someone Else

Another reason that you might not be able to commit to this guy is because you're still in love with someone else. When you truly want to commit, you will find it easy to do especially if you two have been together for a long time. However, no matter how long you two have been exclusively dating, if you're still in love with someone else, that's going to make committing to him much more complicated than words could ever express. So, consider asking yourself whether or not you're still in love with someone else. Figure out if you still have feelings for your ex because if you do, you need to deal with that. You will definitely ruin your current relationship. Before you even commit to someone, it's your adult responsibility to make sure he is the only one. So do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and know if you're still hung up on someone else.

6 See Your Friends More

Friends are very helpful creatures, dear reader. They are the amazing people who are not afraid to call us out when we become crazy beasts and they certainly are more willing to party when we achieve something great in life. Why do you need to hang out with your friends more when you're wondering why you can't bring yourself to commit to the supposed love of your life? Well, because your friends will help you brainstorm. They're here for a reason and can help you figure out why you can't commit to this guy. We all have reasons why we fear commitment, some of them are just all about us and others, because we have doubts on the guy or he's giving us reason to doubt him. Your friends will see your situation from a different perspective than you can and that right there is already a clear reason why hanging out with your pals is highly beneficial.

5 Ask Him

Okay woman, this is where you need to gather your strength but for a different reason. If you're done sitting alone for days, thinking about why you can't bring yourself to promise this man you two will be together forever, you want to try something else. If your mind is sending you signals that something is off with this guy, even if you can't pinpoint what is wrong, listen to that. Then, with all your might, ask him about it. We're not saying he is a bad guy and that you should accuse him of crazy stuff. Just go tell him how you feel. Be kind and gentle and honest and open-minded. Sure, you love him, but that doesn't mean he is perfect. So telling him you find something off, and asking him what else is he not telling you, those are just fine. If this man truly loves you, he will understand where you're coming from.

4 Take Things Slowly

You're a wise woman and here's a super wise thing to do. Girl, you don't have to rush anything. Always remember that. There is no need to hurry things up so you two can live together and so you can show off on social media that you've got a great boyfriend. This is often where girls stumble. If you're afraid of making that commitment, we highly suggest that you take things slow and steady. Baby steps here. Be open and honest with this guy and tell him that for some unknown reasons, you cannot commit to him. Ask if him he's willing to take the slow road with you. Chances are, he is more than willing to do that because he loves you. Girl, all you really have to do is ask. And don't worry if he doesn't understand. Sometimes, fear of commitment is difficult to understand. Just be patient with things (and with him) and take things slow.

3 Be Ready To Admit That You Don't Love Him

This is going to be painful as sh*t but there will be times in your life where you have no other choice but to do things that are super painful. Don't try to avoid this because the more you do, the more painful it's going to get. Also, don't think you're the only one dealing with this kind of problem. You're not the only one, we promise. So if you've been driving yourself pretty crazy about your commitment problem for months, why don't you think about the love you have for this man. Do you really and truly love him? Or is he part of your life only because you're bored and you thought that you might as well have a boyfriend? Sometimes, we do crazy things, you know, and this is one of them. Instead of putting yourself in a very dangerous (and painful) situation, just ask yourself if you really do love him, and allow yourself to be totally honest.

2 Know That Something Might Be Off With You

If you've confirmed that you do love him, that he fits your standards and that there is nothing off with him, well, have you ever asked yourself if there is something off with you? You can love someone but not want to be with them, you know. Do you think that is the case? Do you think you love him because he's been part of your life for so long and that's it, period? Because if so, woman you need to start asking yourself more questions. If you've figured out that you love him (YES), but you just can't bring yourself to be with him exclusively (YIKES), that's probably because you're not straight. This is not the first time something like this has happened. A lot of people realize they're not straight when they're in a relationship with the opposite sex and they're just not happy. Maybe that's the case with you too, only you detected it sooner. Which is actually great because then you can be who you really are.

1 Don't Force It

If all else fails, don't force yourself to commit to someone. There's nothing wrong with saying no and there is certainly nothing wrong with being afraid and unsure. Just be honest with yourself and with this guy and if you're afraid, tell him about it. If you're unsure or uncomfortable, tell him about it. If you want to keep casually dating because you think it's time, tell him about it. Girl, keep in mind that as much as you love him and want to give him the best life he could have with you in it, you should also love yourself and you better give yourself the best life you could ever give to yourself. Got that? So don't force it. If things don't feel right and you have no idea, that's fine. As long as you two are honest with each other, chances are things will be fine. Maybe there will be changes but hey, life is all about changes, both the good ones and bad ones. Just be cool with things, okay? You'll be fine!