15 Signs You're Being Wayyy Too Extra With Him

When it comes to relationships, everyone is different. Some people are super chill, while others absolutely love an element of drama in their relationship. They don't want the comfortable type of relationship where, while you may have passion, at the end of the day you're also friends. They want fireworks and explosions. They're just, well, extra.

Now, while there can be a silver lining to a lot of extra behaviour, at the same time, it can be a little bit exhausting to be in a relationship with someone like that. Someone who is truly extra is extra all. the. damn. time.

So, if you're the type of person who your friends always look at when the topic of discussion turns to extra behaviour, or if you're the type of person who waves your extra flag high as you profess to the world that you are utterly and unapologetically extra, here are a few signs that you may be taking your extra personality from your everyday life into your relationship - and that isn't always the best idea in the world.

Here are 15 signs you're being wayyy too extra with him, and it may be wearing on him (though he's probably avoiding confrontation because a fight with someone who is extra is just way too over the top).

15 You make him take 600 selfies together to share one perfectly edited, filtered 'date night' post

Every woman knows, even someone who is totally not extra, knows that you basically never just take one selfie and call it a day. While you may do that for a group shot, when you're the focus of the picture, you want to take a handful of shots from slightly different angles with slightly different poses or expressions so you can find the best one. This is fine if you're solo and using no one's time but your own - the issue is when you bring your boyfriend into the mix to take a date night selfie. While he obviously doesn't want you to share a photo where he looks like a clown, he probably also doesn't care nearly as much as you do - and no, he can't tell the difference between shot 4 and shot 32.

14 Your text messages look like a novel - an endless stream, just from you

No one is saying that texting has to be 100% equal - if you sent him a text in the morning and he still hasn't responded and you want to check on your plans for the evening, you can totally text him again. However, the issue that extra women run into is that they don't just text two or three times before waiting for a response - they essentially use text conversations as a private Twitter feed, sending message after message, even if he's not replaying. Listen, if he's been busy for hours and unable to check his phone, the last thing you want is for him to pick it up and realize you've send him 57 messages in the past five hours. That just makes you look way to extra, and in all honesty, a little bit crazy.

13 You know what your future children's names will be

Listen, the children conversation is one that every couple should have if it looks like things might be getting serious. It's because it's one of those issues that it's tough to compromise on - you can learn to live with living in the suburbs if you're a city dweller, or living in the city if you'd really prefer a rural home. You can't just compromise and learn to live with a tiny human being. However, while it's crucial to be on the same page about whether or not you want children at some point in your life, if you know that kids are about ten years down the road for you, it may be a bit extra to start thinking about what you're going to call them. Sure, you may have had the names picked out for years, but don't tell him that.

12 You make him pull the car around if it's even slightly drizzling

There are certain situations where you may need a little bit of help from your partner for your own safety - for example, if all you've got is stiletto heels and a sudden freak ice storm suddenly hits and you can't exactly trek across the black ice safely. However, if there's a slight drizzle and your car is parked a two minute walk away? It's really, really extra to get your partner to pull the car around. Plus, it's basically sending the message to them that you don't care if they get a little bit wet, but it's absolutely not okay for you to get affected by the weather in any way. Just scamper to the car. Don't be the diva who makes her partner pull it around as if you were a celebrity or something.

11 You have him as your wallpaper on your phone (and change it often)

It isn't that uncommon for someone to have a picture of their partner as their phone background, but it all depends on the situation. If you've had the same shot of the two of you on vacation for months, because every time you look at it you're brought back to that time and it puts a little smile on your face, that's one thing. You get into extra territory when you start doing things like photoshopping the picture to be even more cutesy, or changing it on a daily or weekly basis to a new cute picture. It's just too much and, even if you do it purely out of love for your partner, it makes things look a little stalker-ish and that's not what you want at all.

10 … and you demand that he put you as his wallpaper

It's one thing to have an over the top cutesy picture of the two of you as a wallpaper on your phone, but it's an entirely different and way more extra thing to demand that he do the same on his phone. Some guys are sentimental and will want to do that without being prompted, but others prefer to keep their phone background a little more neutral - and that should be their choice, plain and simple. If he prefers that his phone background not be a picture of you two making out in front of a sunset, that doesn't mean he hates you. It just means he doesn't want his phone background to be a picture of you two making out in front of a sunset. Simple. So stop being extra and texting him suggested photos.

9 You transform every argument into a movie-worthy scene

The rational part of your brain realizes that big blowout fights are absolutely toxic and you shouldn't be engaging in them. You know that. However, there's that extra girl inside of you who wants an explosive battle, who wants shouting and dramatic statements before the fight ends with you storming out, slamming the door behind you. You channel your inner Hollywood diva for every argument, and that's an exhausting type of person to argue with. Listen, arguments in a relationship can be a downer to begin with - you don't need to make them even worse by making them feel like they're scripted movie scenes that he just doesn't know the lines to. Just take it down a notch and recognize that you're in real life and not a dramatic movie.

8 You started planning your couples Halloween costume in January

No one is denying that couple's costumes can be kind of fun and cheeky, if done right. Plus, if you want to get all dressed up for a Halloween party anyway, why not coordinate with your partner? Brainstorm a week or two before Halloween as to what you want to go as and have fun either finding or assembling a costume together. That's adorable. However, if you've begun brainstorming your couple's costume in January, that's a little bit extra. Sure, you want to look cute, but it's also just one night - spending months and months thinking about it is taking things a little too far. Just have a five minute chat a few weeks before Halloween and call it a day - save the elaborate planning for a different kind of event.

7 You've liked every single social media post he's posted… ever

It's great to support your partner online, even if that just means hitting the 'like' button on his Facebook or Instagram posts, or adding the odd comment here and there. It's something that most people active on social media do for their partners. The extra element here comes in when you don't just like what he posted last week - you like what he posted four years ago, when he was dating someone else entirely. You go way, way back through the archives, and he keeps getting those notifications popping up and asks himself why on earth you're looking at his posts from six years ago. It's just a little bit weird to go that far back. We know you've probably done the peek through the archives when you started dating, but everyone knows you don't actually like any of the posts to prove you've been there!

6 You dish your relationship drama to your BFF like it's the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Women who are extra are generally extra in all aspects of their life, and they want everyone to know it. So, when you're dishing about your relationship drama to your BFF, you're not just telling her what happened and getting some advice. You're channeling your inner Kardashian and you tell the tale as if you were a cast member on their reality show, complete with dramatic gestures and tears and over the top proclamations. I mean, is it even a legit drama to you if you can't tell your BFF about it in the most extra way possible? You seek inspiration from the Kardashians, you source a few insults from the sassy Kourtney thanks to all her relationship drama with Scott, and you go into your BFF session ready to roll.

5 You're not about to accept a standard, run of the mill date night

You're not about to accept some kind of run of the mill dinner and a movie date, where you stop by a mundane chain restaurant and then hit the theatre for the new hot action flick. You want the extra experience. You want to hit the most recent hot spot, the one where you have to get a reservation months in advance because they're always booked solid. You want to go on some kind of once in a lifetime adventure, or do something you've never done before. You don't want your date to just be spending some time with your partner - you want the full experience. While it's fun to go over the top every now and then, it's exhausting to keep up with a partner who wants every date to feel like the best date in the world. Sometimes, you just want to order pizza and watch Netflix.

4 When your birthday rolls around, it's not a day of celebration - it's a week of celebration

When you're extra, your birthday isn't just another day. You're not going to be content with a small gathering of friends, having a few drinks and spending time together. You want balloons. You want to wear a tiara. You want festivities planned that span across days, or even a week. You want everyone to treat your birthday like it's the Queen's birthday. Not only is that a little cringeworthy once you're an actual adult and not a child hopped up on sugary birthday cake icing, it's also way too extra and no boyfriend should be expected to plan a seven day birthday extravaganza just because you're turning 23. It's just too much. Even asking him to put aside his entire schedule and go on endless birthday outings with you is a little over the top. Everyone gets a birthday - anything beyond that is just extra.

3 He's told you to chill out way too many times to count

One of the most obvious signs that you're way too extra and he's a little bit tired of it? If he's telling you to chill literally all the time. Everyone gets upset from time to time, or has certain things that they dwell on and can't quite seem to get over, but those situations should be few and far between. If you're starting up some kind of insane drama every single day and you can never, ever seem to chill, that's going to take a toll on your relationship, no doubt. We know that you've committed to being extra and it's become a big part of who you are, but from time to time, it's best to take it down a notch and let everyone just relax for a little bit.

2 It takes you a ridiculous amount of time to get ready for date night - to the point where you've missed reservations/ruined plans

Look, we get it - sometimes, when you're getting ready, something derails the process a little bit. Perhaps you're trying to curl your hair and it just keeps falling flat 10 seconds after you put the curling iron down. Perhaps you're on your 17th cat eye attempt and it still looks uneven. Whatever the case, we get it - things come up sometimes. However, women who are extra don't even really entertain the possibility that they'll be on time - they know it'll require a ton of time with their make-up and hair styling tools, and even more time browsing their closet for the perfect outfit, before they're ready to head out. Because of that, you've missed reservations, you've been hours late, and through it all your guy just sits on the couch and wishes you were just a little less extra so he could go have his steak.

1 You spend hours analyzing a mundane text and confront him about it later

Here's the thing - while text messaging may have made communication seem easier, in reality, it often makes things more difficult and confusing. You're able to reach out to your partner at all hours of the day, wherever they're at - and that isn't always a good thing. Perhaps your partner sent a quick response to you while they were rushing to their fourth meeting of the day, and didn't really give it much though. You, on the other hand, really settled in and picked apart every element of that quick text, from his use of punctuation to his word choice to his emoji selection. You begin to spiral and by the end of the process you're convinced he was insulting you or trying to insinuate something, so you call him on it (even though it was just another mindless text that he didn't put more than ten seconds of thought into and you just really need to chill).