15 Men Confess The Dumbest Things They've Ever Done To A Woman

Most guys would probably say that we're pretty mysterious creatures, but the truth is that's totally how we feel about them. If we're lucky enough to have a great guy in our life, then we know how we deserve to be treated and how a grown-up relationship should go (what a concept, right?!). But even if we have the best boyfriend ever, we've all suffered through endless bad dates and weird dating situations.

We're always looking for advice about the guys that we're dating and sometimes, the best advice is right from men. Chances are, we've all had a guy say something to us or do something and we've thought, "Yeah, that was stupid AF." Well, even guys know that they've done some pretty silly stuff in order to try to get the girl of their dreams. And they're telling all. Yup. Read on to find out 15 confessions from men about the dumbest things they've ever done to women.

15 "How she feels about Doritos. I hate Doritos, and cannot be around Doritos for prolonged periods of time."

Oh yes, the Doritos dealbreaker. We've totally heard this before. We hear it all the time.

Okay, we're lying. We've never heard of this confession which was also on Thought Catalog. It's kind of ridiculous for a guy to say that he can't date a girl who likes or even loves Doritos. It's not like she's going to eat them 24/7 and he won't ever be able to be in the same room with her, let alone be in a relationship with her. That just makes no sense. Seriously, how do people come up with this stuff?! If you told your friend that you didn't want to date a guy because he likes pretzels and you hate them, she would tell you that you were being picky AF.

14 "If a woman says she likes a sports team I like just to agree with me, I'm out. We don't need to like the same things. Just be honest."

A guy confessed this on Thought Catalog and we're still scratching our heads over it. Of course we all want to have things in common with the person that we're dating. That's a pretty logical thing to think. But… we think that this guy is totally wrong for taking this so seriously.

If any of us have ever said that we were a fan of a sports team (or anything else that the guy that we were into liked), we honestly did it with the very best of intentions. We just wanted to bond and connect with our crush and, sometimes, we just wanted to make pleasant conversation. We didn't think of it as such a big deal. But this guy took it super seriously…

13 "Personal thing, but food is by far my favorite part of dating - going to cool restaurants, being adventurous food-wise… So if she's vegan, vegetarian, on the anti-gluten team, we're just not gonna be compatible."

Whoa. It's totally fine to say that you're into food and that you love sharing your passion for trying new restaurants with the person that you're dating… but it's not okay to act like girls who have food allergies or who eat a certain way are total losers. And totally undateable.

It's really, really silly to use food preferences/allergies as a dealbreaker or red flag. We have to say that this guy, who confessed this on Thought Catalog as well, sounds super picky and like he needs to think about what is really important. What if he meets the most amazing girl ever and she doesn't eat gluten? He's honestly going to reject her and move on? That makes absolutely zero sense… especially considering the fact that girls who don't eat gluten can still order food in a restaurant if they're careful and know what to look out for. Oh man.

12 "If she laughs at everything you say, or if she sincerely laughs because she finds something funny. There's a huge difference, and most guys see it, even if you think you're fooling us."

This is pretty insulting and condescending. Doesn't every guy want to date a girl with a sense of humor? That's definitely what we look for in a guy. Being silly together and making jokes and sharing inside jokes is one of the best things about being in a relationship.

This Thought Catalog confession says that a girl should know what is "sincerely" funny and not just laugh at what the object of her affection says. He's acting like any girl that laughs a lot around her crush is a total loser and that he doesn't want to date someone like that. Ummm… what is happening here?! Has this guy ever been in love? When you're into someone, you can't help but laugh all the time around them, and you'll probably even giggle and get super embarrassed. We just can't deal with these dating confessions. What are people thinking?!

11 "I've faked my ethnicity to attract a Korean girl in the 8th grade. I was loudly saying I'm 10% Korean and 90% black (when I'm 100% black), hoping she would come to me and talk to me. Of course, she didn't, and good thing she didn't. I probably would've done that again in high school."

This Reddit confession really proves that we should all just be honest about who we are and what our backgrounds are. What's the point of lying, especially when we're trying to attract someone and make them want to date us?

We're glad that this guy realized that lying about his identity was the wrong way to go and that if he wants a real connection with someone, he has to be honest. Totally, definitely, 100 percent honest. It seems like this was a learning experience, which is a good thing. Hey, we've all done things and said things that today, with a lot of years of living behind us, we would never do or say. We're sure that he wouldn't ever lie about his background today.

10 "To impress the scene girls, I gradually started wearing skinnier and skinnier jeans until I started to mistake my own jeans for my sister's jeans. By the time I realized that I had been wearing my sister's pants, I didn't stop; the transformation was complete."

Skinny jeans are hilarious on their own. Sure, we all probably wear them, but we totally laugh at ourselves when shrugging them on in the morning. Sometimes skinny jeans just seem way too small to actually fit and we feel like we're wearing pants that are made of glue or something.

It's funny that this guy, who confessed on Reddit as well, wanted to "impress the scene girls" (since we're sure that "scene girls" aren't really a thing anymore… ) got so into skinny jeans that he wore a pair that belonged to none other than his sister. So fantastic. So epic. So magical. We get that he thought that this was a stupid thing to do, but compared to some of the other things on this list, it's really not horrible. It's charming.

9 "Lunges. It works 60% of the time!"

Yup, this is an actual quote from Reddit.com… aka the best place on the Internet to find real life confessions. Whether people are sharing fan theories about their fave shows, like This Is Us or Riverdale, or posting dating stories, we're always entertained and amused when we check out the popular online forum. And now we're educated, too. Because now we know that there's a guy out there who honestly does lunges in front of women that he's into. Who knew?!

This is a pretty hilarious confession since he says "60 percent of the time it works every time." Hey, in the crazy world of dating, those are some pretty good odds. If a guy did lunges in front of us, we would probably think that it was kind of stupid, but… there are way worse things that he could do.

8 "When I was a younger man, I turned up the bass in my voice whenever I spoke."

Yeah, it's pretty hot when a guy has a super deep voice. We're not going to pretend that we're immune to that. A guy's voice is important. After all, we're going to be talking a lot to the person that we let into our life, so it's not like we can find his voice annoying AF. That's not going to work out too well.

This Reddit confession is amazing even from the very first part of the sentence since the guy says when he was "a younger man." It's not like he's that old now. Well, probably not. He is using Reddit, and that's kind of a millennial thing. Just saying. His trick for getting girls was talking lower. Again, not the brightest trick in the book, but not the worst, either.

7 "A friend and I started climbing the tree and jumping into it for fun. Three friends of ours, all girls, started 'rating' our jumps… The tricky part was having to time when to set up for my hands hitting the ground through the leaf pile. In other words, I had to just assume where the ground was and hope I was right… I wasn't right on the 7th jump."

Ouch. Love hurts. We would be fairly amused if we saw a guy jumping from a tree into a pile of crunchy colored leaves. Amused… but not that impressed. Sorry to this guy who posted this on Reddit.

It's just an example of what guys think will impress girls… and what girls actually want guys to do. Honestly, if we like a guy, we don't need fancy things or any stunts. And we definitely don't need him to jump through a leaf pile. Nope. Not at all. While this is a hilarious story, we feel for this guy and we wish that he had just asked one of those girls out (if he had a crush on him, that is) and forgotten about the leaves altogether.

6 "Rewrote the lyrics to the song 'Baby' by Justin Bieber and sang it for her over a voice message. Dang, I was cringy in Middle/High school."

Yeah, this one is pretty bad. No offense to The Biebs. We can't help but love some of his catchy beats, like "Sorry" or "What Do You Mean", but most of us can probably agree that his earlier songs are not our faves.

We get why a guy would realize that this was a bit of a silly thing to do once he got older and more mature. We could be mean and make a joke about most guys not really maturing at all, but… well, we kind of just did. Oh well. We were all totally thinking it, right? We would for sure think that this was romantic if a guy did this for us, but we would also get older and realize that maybe it was a bit much. And definitely cringeworthy, as he suggests at the end of his Reddit post.

5 "Pretended to like kale."

OMG. This one is amazing. If some of us hate kale, then we can totally and completely relate to this guy. And it's pretty sweet and adorable and charming that this guy would lie to a girl that he was interested in and say that he was totally down with kale.

It's also super stupid. Because let's tell the truth right here, right now: kale is gross AF. Yup. We said it. We know that we're not supposed to let the secret out because everyone is drinking kale juice and making kale salads (and massaging them… ugh, weird) but we're just going to be honest. It was definitely dumb of this guy to pretend to like kale since that meant that he would have to eat kale in front of this girl. Probably multiple times. Dude, we feel for you.

4 "When I was in 6th grade I found a serene pond in the forest that I would sit at for hours on end in hopes that if a beautiful girl found me(of course none did, thankfully) they would think I was deep and mysterious."

Umm… That's one way to impress a girl? Not really. Yeah, this guy confessed that he did this on Reddit back in the sixth grade, so we can't really blame him. Or make fun of him. We all did things that we're not super proud of these days. Some of us probably even prank called the boys that we had major crushes on and could barely talk when they answered the phone because we were giggling way too much. And if some of us say that we haven't done that, well, some of us are lying.

We do think it's kind of adorable to think about a sixth-grade boy wanting a girl to think of him as "deep and mysterious." We're not sure that's what we wanted guys to be back when we were that age. We weren't really into bad boys back then (that would have to wait until high school… and maybe we're still in that phase now).

3 "Wore guyliner and straightened my hair."

Guyliner. Oh man. While black eyeliner might look kind of hot on rock stars, and even that might be kind of negotiable, we don't want the guys that we date to wear eyeliner. It's just not a good look.

We can't even begin to imagine a guy straightening his hair. We assume that he used a hair straightener because we're not sure what else. Maybe he listened to that old wives' tale about using an actual iron or something and tried that out, but… we're not so sure. That would probably be too big of a commitment. Let's hope that these days, he's embracing his usual, natural look and isn't wearing eyeliner or straightening his hair. We have a feeling that he's not doing this anymore since he admitted that it was a dumb thing to do.

2 "Changed my facebook name to something that sounds like a bad porn name for about a year."

This is not on the list of things that women find attractive and interesting. It's on the list of things that women find absolutely not attractive and not interesting. We think that this strategy probably backfired.

First of all, we can most likely all agree that we're not big fans of people who don't use their real name on Facebook. Sure, people aren't usually changing their actual names to porn names on Facebook (okay, they're absolutely not doing that… ) and they're usually just using their first name or their first name plus the first initial of their last name. But we think that if they don't want current or potential employers to see them on Facebook, then they should just not post anything weird or that would make them look bad. It seems like a pretty simple solution, right?

1 "Sat across from her at lunch every day for 2 years. Sat behind her in class. Talked to her all the time. Never asked her out."

The worst thing that any of us can do is not tell the person that we're into how we feel. Yeah, that might sound overdramatic, and yet it's the honest truth. What are we possibly going to gain by keeping our feelings to ourselves?!

This guy confessed on Reddit that he had a huge crush on a girl and just didn't ask her out on an actual date. Some of us might be thinking, well, why didn't she ask him out on a date? Girls can make the first move, too. But maybe this girl wasn't sure that he liked her… and that's what makes this a dumb thing to do. PSA to all guys out there with a crush: ask the girl out. You won't regret it. Even if she says no, you'll at least know where you stand.